Home
by aprileagle
Summary: The pupil at school don't like Haruka very much. The wild tomboy. Until a new pupil comes into the class and conquers Haruka's heart easily. COMPLETE & REREAD
1. Prologue: Comfort

"Heimat ist kein Ort, Heimat ist ein Gefühl."

Herbert Grönemeyer

(Home is not a place, home is a feeling)

**Author's note:**

Herbert Grönemeyer is one of the greatest musicians I have ever seen live on a stage. He sings with so much joy and fun with his fans - even if his leg is broken.

The concert was fantastic and the last song simply touched my heart. It's called "Heimat" and although the content is a little bit different from this story, this line simply fits.

I don't know if you know that feeling. You meet someone for the first time and you simply like him or her. The other one understands you without many words and everything is simply clear. No doubts. No questions. No fears. Just friendship and love.

This story is for the craziest girl I ever met. Who shared with me a cheese roll with sweet cream and talked to me until 3 am although we knew that we had to get up at 5 am to see Venice. Who fell asleep in Venice at the beach, because she was so tired. For the craziest girl who was able to go into the mountain's lakes cold water and wet her pants all over just to get the perfect picture. For the girl who made me laugh all the time.

It had been the best weeks in my whole life.

Disclaimer: Haruka and Michiru are created by Takeuchi Naoko. However, the story is mine.

Guess some more disclaimers are necessary today. The song Haruka listens to in her walkman is "Go the distance" from Disney's Hercules. So you seen I do not only love animes, but also Disney cartoons -.

Michiru's song she sings in the third chapter in the Irish restaurant with "The Devils" is called "Wish U Well" and it belongs to _Fiddler's Green_. It simply fits so perfectly to Michiru and Haruka's destiny and if you'll ever get the chance to listen to it - it is full of anger and despair. I love it!

The other songs Michiru sings on the winter's ball at school and on the other concert don't belong to me, too. The first one is "Don't give up" by _Peter Gabriel_. It is a tender voice from someone who's lost and he's hold back by a smart woman's voice who tells him that he still has friends. That he still belongs to someone. That he's not beaten as long as he doesn't give up.

The second concert song is again from _Fiddler's Green_ and it's "Another Sky". It isn't quite so angry the way Michiru sings it, but the lines simply fitted so perfectly to her anger, her hate and her deep sorrow.

Gomen that I borrowed so much. But it's the best way to explain one's feelings: With music. And Michiru is a child of music -.

If you liked the story or if you hated it, feel free to write to: aprileagleatfreenet.de!

**Home**

**(April Eagle)**

**Prologue: Comfort**

She came home.

Slowly, she opened the door but hesitated. There was no one hiding in the shadows. Ready to shout at her. Ready to call her bad names. Ready to beat her down.

_He left almost one year ago..._

Very slowly she put her school bag on the cupboard to her right side. The door closed with a _click_ that was louder than a bomb exploding in the strange silence. The girl frowned and her dark green eyes searched the half dark around her. She had experienced a lot in her young life. Just sixteen years. Sometimes sixteen years too long... But never she had felt such a threatening, dangerous silence. Always her days had been busy and very noisy. With her class mates. With her so called family. With her...

She frowned as she noticed what was missing. Who was missing. No one jumped at her and whimpered excited. No one wetted her pants and gave her wet, but honest kisses. No one showed her that there was at least one creature on this wide planet who obviously loved her.

"Herc?"

Her voice was low and suddenly very shaky. She hardly cried in her life - no matter how hard it got. But now tears sparkled in dark, indefinable eyes as she switched on the lights and saw the brown something lying in the corner of the small corridor.

"Herc!"

With two steps she was next to her best friend and knelt down.. Her hands trembled as she took the small puppy in her strong arms. She felt the warm fluid running over her skin, but she wasn't able to understand its meaning.

"Hercules!"

She shook the small body and swallowed hard. The doggy was about three months old. A small, always happy pet who warmed her cold nights and brightened up her dark days. Who wanted all her attention when she was at home and liked it to jog every evening aside her around in Tokyo's huge park. Who gave her all the love in return no one else seemed to feel for her.

"Hercules! Move! Don't be kidding! Don't scare me like that!"

She shook him again. Ignoring the red fluid running down her naked arms. Ignoring that the small boy in her arms was lifeless. That the puppy didn't breathe any longer.

_He's only three months..._

But she tried to ignore the knowledge that the doggy wouldn't get any older.

"Move, Herc! You're my only friend! You can't leave me like this... you... Herc..."

Slowly realization dawned and hurt her deeply. Tears sparkled in her eyes and she didn't notice that they wetted her cheeks. Strands of short blond hair fell in her face as she lowered her head. Covered it with deep shadows.

"Herc..."

It was a silent sob as she put the doggy down at the now red carpet. Once it had been white. But that had been a long time ago. When her parents had been young. When they moved into this once so noble house. When they still had been in love.

_When I hadn't been born..._

"Herc..."

The small head rolled aside and showed more blood and red flesh. The right ear was missing and there was even more blood.

_Someone killed him!_

She shook her head and stared at her blood smeared hands in disbelieve.

_Why should anyone kill my sweet Herc?_

More tears ran over her face and she sobbed quietly.

_He didn't do anything. He was just cute and innocent. And so full of love..._

At that moment the door to her parents' living room was pushed open and a woman around the age of forty stood there. She wore a dirty green dress and her dark hair was a mess. She held a cigarette in her right and a half empty bottle beer in her left hand.

"Oh, you're back from school?" Cold eyes stared down at the kneeling girl. Her mouth formed a line as she saw those tears. Tears for a meaningless creature. Tears she didn't even cry when he went away. Finally.

"Who was it? You!" The girl came hard to her feet and walked over to her mother. "Why?" She stretched her blood smeared arms towards her and the older woman stepped back into the living room.

"No, it was him. You know your cur! It jumped at him and so he beat it down." She turned around and put the bottle down on the table next to other, empty ones.

The girl frowned, but followed her.

"He's been here?" she asked and swallowed hard. Quickly, she looked around, but there was no other shadow hiding behind the door. All she could see was an old couch, a broken table and the always shinning TV screen. It was mute.

_Mommy, you're dead drunk!_

But the didn't dare to say it aloud. Even as the older woman reeled and the cigarette fell down on the ground. On a dirty, grey carpet.

Normally she was used to it. But normally no one killed her one and only friend. Normally the carpet wasn't bloodstained. Normally her mother didn't drink until dust.

_Why isn't she at work today?_

"Hai. He simply came here and gave me THIS!"

The girl looked at the handled letter and only needed to read the first lines.

"The divorce papers?" she whispered and sighed deeply. "At last..."

So he would never come to her room again in the middle of the night and beat her down. So he would never hurt her mother again. So he would never try again to kill his family by laying fire, driving their car against a tree or showing them his gun.

_So we're free of him. At last..._

"AT LAST!"

Her mother's voice was high and angry as she turned towards her daughter.

"Do you know what you're talking about? I lost my job today and he won't pay - neither for you nor for me. I can't pay the rent and it's too expensive to let you go to school any longer!" her eyes sparkled in anger and pain. And hate. Endless hate.

The girl automatically stepped back and shook her head. She'd often seen that hate. In dark green eyes, just the same like her own. In _his_ eyes every time he took the belt to tell her that he was the master, she only a weak, useless girl. A daughter no one ever wanted.

_But I've never seen it in her eyes..._

"He had been right. From the beginning he had been right! It had been a mistake to let you live! You caused nothing than trouble! You cost us too much and he was fed up with you! He wanted a little, cute girl and all we got was a bloody dyke!."

Now she screamed.

"Nani...?" whispered the girl in shock and ran her trembling hands through her blond hair. Ignoring the red traces she left there.

"He loved me before I got pregnant. Before we had to move into this bloody region of Tokyo! He always wanted to be an artist, but we hadn't the money any more to support his career after you were born!" Her face was red as she shouted. Then she took another bottle of beer, opened it and drank some gulps.

"I should have aborted you, you dyke! I never wanted you! Haruka? Do you understand me? You're the reason he left me! You're the reason he beat me and..."

"He beat me, too, mommy!" Haruka took a deep breath and reached for the bottle to put it down to the others. On a broken table. In a broken life.

"He wasn't a loving husband nor..."

"And you've never been a loving daughter!"

_You can't mean it, mommy. You know I've tried my best to love you two. You're too drunk to know what you're talking about._

"I wanted a sweet girl, Haruka. And all I got was a dyke! You're wearing men clothes. Your hair is too short for a girl and I've never seen you with a guy!"

_Do you really want to see me pregnant at the age you got me?_

Haruka swallowed again and more tears sparkled in her eyes as she watched how her mother reeled over to the window. But she didn't look out. Her hateful sparkling eyes never looked away from her.

"I simply don't like them." Said the tall girl instead and stumbled back as her mother was suddenly next to her and slapped her right into the face. She hadn't expected that fast reaction. Nor was she used to defend herself.

"You don't like me, too. Otherwise you would've been nice to your father and he wouldn't have ran away!"

Dark green eyes looked horrified up and a trembling, blood smeared hand covered the burning cheek. A red spot in a pale face.

"He beat you and he tried to... he was rude to me, too..." whispered Haruka. "He wasn't a good husband. And he wasn't a good father, either! You should be glad that..."

"Shut up!"

Her mother turned around and searched for something behind the pillows of the old couch. Certainly for another bottle of beer or an old, dirty handkerchief. Or another package of cigarettes.

"Better you leave now, Haruka. Take your few thing and go. And never come back! I don't want to see you ever again in my whole life!" Her voice was angry and determined.

"Nani...?"

Haruka's fists were clenched as she raised her head. Her face was even whiter than the wall behind her and the tears dried immediately.

"This can't be your seriousness, mommy..."

Her thoughts spun around. Where should she go? She had hardly any money. She was too young to rent an own apartment. She still went to school and had no time for a full time job.

_I have no friends. No one I could turn to. No one I could ask for help._

Haruka shook her head very slowly.

_No one who wouldn't throw me out at the very moment._

Haruka took a deep breath.

_No one who would like me at all..._

Haruka's eyes sparkled as she stepped towards her still searching mother.

_I won't go to an orphanage. That's for sure!_

"It can be, Tenô-girl! I don't want you dyke any more! So get out NOW! You chased him away from me and now you'll have to live with the consequences. So GET OUT!"

Haruka shook her head again and her whole body trembled as she stretched her still blood smeared arms towards her mother.

"Mommy..."

The woman turned around - holding a gun in her hands. Determinedly she pointed at her daughter with the weapon. It was old but the tall girl wasn't sure if it was broken.

"Never call me that silly word again, you dyke! And now leave. At last! Forever!"

_She can't mean it._

Haruka blinked and saw for a few seconds a young woman with a tender smile on her face. She carried a happy laughing girl in her arms.

The vision was gone as sudden as it came and all that remained was an old woman with messed hair, a gun in her shaking hands and a hurt pride.

"You're dead drunk, mommy. You don't mean what you're saying. Put it away and have some rest..." said Haruka calmingly and came again a little bit nearer.

"Stop! Now! Before I'll use it! I know that it works!"

Dark green eyes grew wide and tears of anger and sorrow ran again over a very pale face.

_Herc..._

Again she saw the lifeless puppy in the corner. A doggy which had loved her with all his heart and got all her love in return. A love no one else seemed to want.

"You killed my Hercules?" Suddenly Haruka forgot her good manners and the gun her mother was still holding. Her mind tried to warn her that her mother looked very determined. However, her hot temper was quicker. Her temper and her sorrow.

"You lied to me, you murderer! He went away almost one year ago and you killed my doggy, because he loved me the way you've never been able to!"

Haruka stretched her hands towards the older woman who used to be her mother.

"You bloody murderer!"

The woman raised her weapon and her eyes were full of hate.

"You bloody lesbian!" she whispered and pulled the trigger.

The shot could be heard everywhere in the neighbourhood.

dbdbdb

The soft music filled the air. It was dark in the room, but she didn't need any notes to look at. They didn't exist for her song. For her feelings.

Full moon shone though the opened balcony door. It was autumn and she froze. But she didn't care.

The clock stroke again in the near kitchen.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Eight o'clock in the evening. Too late. Simply too late.

Her mother had left the light house by the sea four hours ago to fetch up her father from hospital.

_What did the doctors tell her?_

Again she missed some notes and so she put the expensive violin down on the glass table. She simply couldn't concentrate when she was too nervous.

_When I am too frightened._

She walked aimlessly around in the huge house like a ghost and sighed more than once.

_What if the results are positive? What if he's going to..._

She sobbed quietly and took a deep breath. Then she wrapped her arms around her shaking body and looked out of the open window. The moon was reflected in clear, hot tears.

_Normally, she doesn't need so many hours to get to the hospital and back. Normally, it only takes half an hour for each trip. Normally..._

She heard the door bell ring. It sounded threatening in the total silence that surrounded her. Nothing seemed to reach her. No rushes of the waves, no screaming of the proud sea birds.

Only that blooding ringing that wouldn't stop.

_Why didn't I go with her?_

Slowly, she walked over to the door, but her hand trembled too much to open it.

_Because she wanted to talk to the doctors on her own..._

Finally, she pushed the door open and her heart stopped to beat as she saw the blue lights brightening up the dark, endless night. She shook her head and sea green hair fell over her shoulders.

"Are you Kaioh Michiru?"

She looked down at the police man standing at the ground of the staircase. Her blue eyes grew wide as she saw that he was holding his cap in his hands. Plucking nervously at it. Then she saw the sad and guilty expression in his pale face.

"No..."

With a loud slam she closed the door and ignored the ringing of the bell and soon the impatient knocking against the wood.

_No..._  
Suddenly, she turned around and ran into the living room.

Automatically, she took one framed picture from the chimney and some tears ran down her white cheeks as she looked down at a loving family. A beautiful woman with long sea green hair and shinning dark eyes. She was embraced by a young man. All his love spoke from his deep blue eyes. Both looked down at a sleeping baby who felt safe and secure in her parents' arms. Fluffy sea green hair covered a tiny head. Tiny arms held a toy puppy tight.

_What a lovely family._

_My family..._

Michiru shook her head and more strands fell over her shaking shoulders.

_No, it can't be true!_

She swallowed hard and sobbed quietly. Her whole body started to shiver as she raised her head. Her deep blue eyes sparkled with sorrow and anger. She was still too shocked to break down. To accept what her heart already knew. During the last hours she played her violin and prayed - in vain.

_No, it can't be true._

But she knew that it was.

"Why?" her voice was nothing than a whisper. The fire burning in the chimney tried to warm her but suddenly she was very cold. As if she had to freeze in a winter she couldn't survive. Not alone...

"Why?" she closed her eyes and bit on her lower lip.

"Why did you go away - leaving me behind?"

The picture escaped her trembling hands. Glass broke as it hit the ground.

Broken splinters shimmered in the fire's light like blood...

dbdbdb

It was late in the evening. The subway was cold, but empty. Hardly anyone was around. Especially not at a Sunday evening.

However, that was fine for her. So no one would look at her with that look she hated so much. So there wouldn't be any class mates going to their silly dates or to the disco. So she would have her peace at last.

The music in her ears was happy, but she felt sad. Although she wore an old, but warm pullover, she was cold. A bag laid on the ground net to her old, dirty shoes. Her lips moved in silence. Her dark green eyes read in the old newspaper someone else forgot in the subway. Her right hand played with a pen to underline word here and there.

_Strange that I once thought that this guy was right..._

Nevertheless, she loved that song and so she reached for her walkman to turn the cassette when it was over. Pain flashed through her right arm and she made a face. Very slowly, she opened the black thing and took a careful breath to let the pain go.

At that moment she heard the silent sobs.

_Nani?_

She raised her head and saw a sea green haired girl sitting opposite to her. She held her long strands together in her neck and wore an expensive looking white coat. It was clean and her white boots certainly new. A huge bag laid on the ground next to her. But Haruka didn't see it. All she saw was the handkerchief the other girl pressed hard with her trembling hands. And the tears running down a pale face.

_What's wrong with her?_

Haruka frowned and carefully put her walkman away. Normally, she wasn't concerned about other people. She had enough problems herself.

_Does she have such a bloody life, too? But she looks so rich!_

The taller girl stood up and was determined to go over to the smaller girl to ask her.

At that moment the sea green haired beauty raised her head and two deep blue eyes looked desperately into dark green ones.

_She looks so lonely - just like me..._

Both swallowed hard.

"High Bridge Station." The voice from the loudspeaker sounded tired. It was the last subway and almost the last station.

Michiru was pulled out of her trance. She lost her handkerchief as she grabbed her handbag and left the subway. Her fast steps could be heard in the dark, empty night outside.

"Hey..."

Haruka stared at the huge bag still lying on the ground and sighed deeply.

dbdbdb

The reeling was cold. Almost as cold as it was inside her body. Inside her heart. Inside her soul.

Steam formed before her mouth as she looked down into the river's dark water. It was impenetrable. Wild and raging. But at the same time calm and mysterious.

_Just like my mind..._

Tears shimmered in her eyes and she leaned a little bit forward.

_Down there's peace._

She swallowed hard and some strands of sea green hair fell over her small shoulders.

_Down there's finally rest._

She leaned wider and wider over the reeling until her feet left the ground.

_Down there's a way to get to my parents._

The rushes sounded appeasing and some tears fell down into the black waves. All she had to do was let go. Let go the icy reeling. Let go the cold life. Let go all those hurting memories.

_Down there I won't be alone any longer..._

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to say good bye. Just like the two people she loved so much.

"Hey, you've forgotten your bag."

Deep blue eyes opened again and grew wide as she recognized that the low voice wasn't only a product of her imagination.

"Your bag..."

Haruka frowned as the smaller girl winced hard and turned around in surprised. Quickly, she wiped away some tears from her pale cheeks.

_For a moment I thought she'd really jump._

Slowly, the sea green haired beauty stepped away from her.

_Don't be silly, Haruka. Not everyone is as desperate as you. Certainly she's only in love with a guy who doesn't want her._

Haruka swallowed hard.

_Who should ever not want her?_

Michiru recognized the boy who had sat opposite to her in the subway. She looked at the bag in surprise that was held in strong hands. Her bag. Then her face went empty again.

_I don't need it any longer._

"Gosh, it's kinda heavy!" said the boy with a sheepish grin and so she took it back with a slight bow.

"Gomen..." her voice was nothing but a whisper.

Haruka sighed quietly and stepped a little bit closer.

_Why am I doing this? Why don't I turn around and leave her in peace? To get my subway and maybe to get some hours of sleep before I'll start another exhausting day? Another depressing one..._

She didn't find an answer.

"Everything okay?" she asked instead and lowered her head to look straight into watery blue eyes.

Michiru blinked.

_Run away!_

She heard the warning voice in her head.

_Run away! You don't know him!_

But her despair and her sorrow were stronger than every fear in this bloody world.

_There's nothing more to fear any longer..._

The heavy beg fell down with a loud noise and Michiru wrapped her arms around a slim waist. She didn't even care as she recognized that the strange boy was a girl. She simply pressed her burning face in warm shoulders and searched for comfort.

And started desperately to cry.

For some seconds Haruka didn't know how to react.

_I can't push her away._

Haruka sighed and carefully wrapped her arms around a shaking body.

_I can't let her go like this._

She couldn't hold the girl any longer in her aching arms and together they went on the cold, hard ground of the bridge.

_I know how hard life can be. And I know how much one needs a comforting gesture time by time._

She swallowed hard and pulled the desperately sobbing girl nearer. Automatically, she rocked her and held her tighter as the sobbing even increased.

_As I do, too..._

"They simply left me alone..." cried the girl and coughed. Michiru grabbed the taller one instinctively harder and shook her head. "They simply left..."

"Hush..." whispered Haruka and felt how the smaller girl held her tighter in her deep despair.

_No one ever held me that tight._

"Just let it all out."

_When had been the last time that someone needed me?_

She didn't know. If there had ever been such a time the people surely hadn't been her parents...

Michiru trembled and buried her face deeper into the warm shoulder - not noticing how the taller girl gasped for breath and winced a bit.

_Papa! Mama! Where are you?_

She wanted to scream it out loud until she was hoarse. But she knew that they couldn't hear her any more. That they would never ever return home again.

To a home that didn't exist any longer.

_Oh, papa..._

_Oh, mama..._

At that moment Michiru noticed the warm body next to her, felt breasts under an old pullover, felt soft arms wrapped around her back, felt tender hands stroking calming over her sea green curls.

_Nani?_

She smelled perfume. A strange one. Men perfume. And she heard a low, silent voice talking comforting words to her. That she should cry and that she would feel better afterwards.

She was stunned as she noticed that she wanted to believe in those soft words.

And she was shocked as she noticed that she didn't want to escape that warm embrace again.

"Gomen..." she pulled herself free and blushed deeply. "I didn't want... I..." she stammered and blushed even more while she came hard to her feet. She felt dizzy with a sudden and was cold again. Since that hour when she opened the door and saw the policeman she was always very cold.

"Normally I am not so..."

"Hey, it's my task as a good Japanese to comfort little girls." Teased the other girl and bowed. "Always to your service, my lady."

Michiru blushed even more and grabbed her heavy bag.

"Gomen..." she swallowed hard. "... and arigato..."

_Without you I would've been very silly tonight._

With a short bow she turned around and walked quickly away. She didn't look back. Therefore, she didn't see how the taller girl wrapped her arms around her slim, freezing body. And that tears sparkled in dark green eyes, too.

_The last subway's long gone._

Haruka sighed deeply and suddenly missed the warm body next to her freezing one.

_But it's worth to walk the whole way now._

Haruka took her own bag, turned around and went very silently away. She knew that she hadn't been the only one spending comfort...

At the corner she stopped and looked back. But the bridge was empty now. The beautiful girl with so sad looking blue eyes was gone.

Damm! And I don't even know her name...


	2. Chapter 1: Pizza delivery service

**Chapter one: Pizza delivery service**

It was eight o'clock in the morning. The school bell was ringing and pupils were running.

"We're too late! Hurry up!" Two girls with long blond hair ran upstairs and made quite desperate faces. Two pairs of blue eyes looked horrified as the bell ringing went on.

"This time we're really too late, Mina... arghhh!" The girl with two long plaits turned around the corner and crashed into another pupil. A schoolbag and several books fell down.

"Ouch!" The girl started to cry and blushed as she saw into surprised green eyes which went empty within the next second.

"Gomen..." the blonde collected her bag but was already pushed away by her best friend.

"You don't have time to apologize, Usagi. You can do that later - after the teacher has punished us for coming late again."

Both of them groaned loudly as they ran along the narrow corridor.

"And today is only Monday..."

Haruka shook her head and grabbed her crumbled books. But a small smile appeared on her pale, tired face, nontheless.

_They're always too late._

She opened the door but still had to look at a now empty corridor.

_Well, at last they seem to carry the punishment together - like real friends..._

Haruka's smile faded as she saw how her classmates ran excitedly through the class room. There was no teacher there and the tall girl knew that it was easier to listen to her teacher's strict words that she was too late than spending one break with her stupid fellows.

"Hey, our freak finally arrived!"

Haruka ignored them while she walked over to her place. She sat alone there in the corner. Next to the window which was open in summer. She liked to look outside into the sunshine and to feel the warm wind playing with her short hair whenever they had boring Japanese or English lessons. For only a few seconds she could dream of a better life. Of nicer fellow students. Of spreading her wings and simply flying away. Forever...

But today was autumn. The leaves were falling outside and the wind was rough and cold. The window was closed – and would stay this way for the next months.

The chair next to her was empty. It was the last empty one in the entire class. All other pupils had her or his best friend sitting next to them. Haruka had no one. She always sat in her corner, just like in a castle surrounded by roses.

_Like the sleeping beauty._

Haruka sighed slightly.

_But I am not a sleeping beauty._

Sometimes it was hard to sit alone. Especially in physics when they had experiments to do and she had no partner - and of course no one wanted to join her team. But most of the time she was grateful . Because this way she had her peace at least during the lessons.

"Did you learn for the English test?"

"Surely she didn't!"

"Hai, all she's able is to run!"

"Strange school, to keep such a bad pupil."

"Hai..."

She didn't listen to them any longer. She knew that it was senseless to argue with them. Their parents were rich, she was poor. And to beat them down... they were silly girls. Nothing more. Their words had stopped to hurt her a long time ago. Nothing could touch her any longer. Could really hurt her.

_I don't need them._

Haruka sat down and put her books on her table. Slowly, she opened a crumbled newspaper to read it.

_They aren't important._

The tall girl frowned and played nervously with her pen while she turned the page.

_It's more important to get a part time job to pay the rent._

Her stomach grumbled silently and she tried to calm it down that it already had an apple she stole from some tree on her way to school.

_And to have some money to get something to eat._

She didn't want to think that winter was approaching and that she had no jacket. Nor boots. Only her old, ugly pullover. And her school uniform...

Another ten minutes passed by while she underlined some shops she could ask to help out.

_As long as I don't have to cook._

At that moment the door was opened and the teacher entered the room. Suddenly, all pupils were very silent and sat down as fast as possible. Curiously, they looked at the door - because their teacher wasn't alone today.

"Konnichiwa." Said the old woman and pulled a girl with her who obviously preferred to be somewhere else. Somewhere else - but certainly not standing in front of the class and facing several interesting looking boys and girls.

_They all look like tigers._

_Or snakes..._

Michiru took a deep breath and kneaded the books in her hands tighter. Silently, she observed the different pupils, all watching her with big eyes. As if she were the eighth world wonder.

_I hate that feeling._

Just one girl kept staring into a newspaper. Some strands of short blond hair feel into dark green eyes.

_My girl..._

"Boys and girls, this is your new classmate, Kaioh Michiru who..."

But Michiru didn't listen to her any longer. She only stared at the girl she had seen in a cold night. On an empty bridge. In a dark life. A girl who held her tight and gave her the comfort and the power she needed in that icy night to carry on.

There was something special about this girl. Not only that she didn't use make up or that she preferred to wear the boy's uniform.

_No wonder I confused her with a boy at first._

Again she felt soft breasts under and old pullover.

_Although she's indeed a woman._

The uniform was different from the ones the boys wore. The short white shirt wasn't put into the long pants. The sleeves of the jacket were ripped off and now it looked more like a waist coat.

_She looks wild now. Untouchable. Unreachable._

Michiru frowned and held her books tighter in her suddenly ice cold hands.

_Nevertheless, she stoke my hair so softly._

There was indeed something special about this girl. While all the other pupils stared at the new girl, did she only read in her newspaper and seemed to be in another world. In a dream only she knew.

Some rays of sunlight broke through the cloudy sky and shone through the window. To lighten up the place the tall girl sat at. Only her place. All the other were kept in darkness.

_She sits there all alone._

Michiru frowned as she recognized that the other tables stood a little bit farer away from her table then to the neighbour's one.

_She looks alone. Strong and unbreakable. But nevertheless, she looks alone._

The sea green haired girl bit on her lower lip.

_Just like me..._

"... and she moved to the inner city of Tokyo after her parents' sudden death. Now she will learn with us and have good grades."

_Typical teachers. Only talking about good grades!_

Haruka shook slightly her head and underlined another advertising that sounded okay.

_Maybe I can work in a pizza service? Or clean windows? Or wash cars?_

Michiru blinked as she realized that it was her turn to speak now.

_Sudden death._

She swallowed hard.

_That's one way to call it, although it wasn't that sudden - if I hadn't been that blind..._

"I..."

"Are you really Kaioh Michiru?"

"I have your CD."

"Hai, it is great!"

"I like the modern music with the lyrics, although my mother prefers the classic songs."

Michiru smiled nervously, not knowing, what to answer.

_They listened to my music?_

The see green haired girl chewed again on her lower lip.

_Did they understand it?_

"Although I don't like the song about the whales. It's too much kitsch!"

_No, they didn't_.

"Your father was Kaioh Gendo, wasn't he? The famous piano player."

"I've read about the accident in the newspaper."

"Nasty thing..."

So they spoke on and Michiru took a deep breath. Not knowing how to interrupt them. Not knowing how to stop them. Not knowing how to hold back the tears suddenly burning in her eyes.

_That's my private life. They shouldn't talk about it. It's not their problem and it's certainly not their right to talk about it._

But she knew that they were written in all newspapers. All bloody details.

_No, not all details._

_At least the doctors kept silent._

_Hopefully forever..._

"Hai..." she answered silently and swallowed hard. Wondering how long she would be able to stand in front of the class without breaking down in tears.

_Hai..._

The soft voice brought her back from her personal concerns. Haruka put the newspaper down and looked directly into deep blue eyes. Tears shimmered in the sunlight shinning though the window. A smile froze on a pale face and small fingers grabbed some books tighter.

"The newspapers said that it was maybe the rain and the street had been..."

"Hai..."

Sea green hair fell over shaking shoulders as the girl stared on her white boots. She was wearing the normal school uniform, but her blue skirt almost reached her feet. She decided for a long one that could hold her warmer - because Haruka knew with a sudden that the girl had to freeze a lot.

_Like me..._

"And then..."

Haruka shook her head in disbelieve. Didn't they see how much they tortured that girl with their stupid questions? With their ignorance? With their silly behaviour?

"But the TV..."

Certainly not!

Again Haruka felt the shaking body in her strong arms. Heard the desperate sobs. Saw tears running over pale cheeks.

_She cried as if the world was going to end..._

"Okay, that's enough now! Shut up and leave her alone with your stupid question! They're hurting!"

Haruka didn't notice that she had stood up. Nor did she notice her clenched fists. All she saw were deep blue eyes looking thankfully up to her.

"Oh, shut up, you freak. What do you know about feelings! You're..."

"Do you like it to answer questions about your parents' divorce?" snapped Haruka back without taking her eyes off the trembling girl.

"You bloody..."

A girl with long, blue hairs narrowed her eyes and a hateful expression appeared on her face.

"You bloody bastard!"

"You dyke!"

"You devil!"

"You lazy bitch!"

Suddenly, more angry voices shouted loudly at Haruka, but all the tall girl noticed was a shy smile under sparkling tears. Automatically, she smiled back.

"You bloody lesbian!"

Haruka winced as the scream flashed thought the class room. Some pupils laughed wickedly while the teacher tried to calm them down - in vain.

The new girl frowned - and turned away.

_Fantastic._

Haruka groaned silently. Then she took a deep breath and sat back again to look straight into her newspaper.

_Arigato, Mila. Now you've got another member in your _How can I make other pupil's life to hell club _without letting me the chance to talk to her!_

However, Haruka knew that it was all senseless. After they got to know Mila most of the pupils didn't want to talk to the tomboy with the strange uniform and the bad grades any longer.

And the ones who still wanted to were too shy or simply too afraid of Mila and her influence in class.

_Hell, I am used to their behaviour._

She got used to it the day two years ago when she decided that it was better for her to look like boy. When she started to hate all people. When she tried to creep back into her own world - but no one really let her.

_I am used to it._

But suddenly she was sad of losing the sea beauty before really meeting her.

_Why did she cry? Because she's lost her parents?_

Now she wouldn't get an answer. Certainly!

"May I sit down?" asked Michiru and gave the blue haired girl in the first array a long, thoughtful look. Then she stared pleadingly up to the old teacher.

"Good, Michiru. You can talk to your new fellows later in the break. Please be kind to your new fellow student and show her everything in the break, for example our cafeteria and where she can sign up for our great clubs. Guess you'll go to the orchestra." The old teacher smiled friendly and Michiru liked her at the moment. Maybe she wasn't powerful enough to calm the exciting pupils down, but she looked understanding. Suddenly Michiru was reminded of her long dead granny.

"You can sit down behind Yakoto. There's still one place left. Hope it's okay for you to sit so far away from the blackboard."

"Oh, don't worry. I have good eyes." Automatically, Michiru smiled back and the tears disappeared from her eyes.

"Next to the Tenô-dyke? That can't be your seriousness!" said Mila angrily and some other girls looked with pity at their new fellow student.

"Maybe we can steal another bank from room 5a just over the corridor."

"Or she'll take the seat and comes to us. We have enough room here." Shouted another girl with short black hair and waved excitedly her hands.

But Michiru didn't care about them any longer. She took her books tighter into her hands and went over to the last table standing in the bright sunlight next to a huge window.

"You shouldn't sit there, Michiru. Just talk to the teacher. Maybe you'll get another seat."

"She's not good enough for you!"

"She's a freak."

"She has no manners."

"She doesn't like other people."

_Why should she comfort me when she don't like other people?_

Michiru ignored the loud voices around her as she stepped next to the still reading girl. Or at least to the tall girl who was pretending to study the death announces.

"Is the seat still free?" she asked while she teacher wrote something on the huge, blackboard in front of the class. She shouted once or twice at the pupils to be quiet but gave up as she failed. Therefore, she concentrated again on her lesson and prepared herself to read out loud from an old book.

"Today we'll start to talk about Shakespeare." She declared in a loud, determined voice and finally some people turned around to follow her lesson. But other, still curious eyes observed how the tall girl slowly raised her head and nodded in silence.

Michiru put her books down and sat next to the girl.

"Hello, I am Kaioh Michiru." She smiled and shook and icy hand. Almost as icy as her own one. Her voice was shaky but she knew she could face all those stupid questions as long as this girl was by her side.

Although she didn't know why.

"Tenô Haruka."

Deep blue eyes looked for a long time into dark green ones while their hands gently squeezed.

dbdbdb

"You have to come in our orchestra! Your CDs are so great and with such a famous father you surely play your instrument perfectly."

"It was the piano, too, wasn't it?"

"No, I play the violin."

Michiru smiled into different excited faces around her in the school's cafeteria. They all sat around the table and ate their bentos. There was no place left and it seemed as if all girls of her class tried to sit at her table.

All pupils were very curious and all wanted to be friend with the nice, beautiful and rich girl.

"Violin. Such a nice instrument. Our orchestra needs..."

Michiru nodded and bit in her sandwich. Her blue eyes still searched the huge room. But she couldn't find the tall girl with messed blond hair anywhere.

"Last year we gave a huge concert and it was great, really, but we need a violin. Our last violinist who could really play left our school four years ago and since then..."

_Where is she? Doesn't she join the other pupils to eat her lunch?_

You bloody lesbian! 

Again Michiru heard the mean, rude voices in her head and chewed thoughtfully.

_Certainly, she doesn't want to join them._

The sea green haired girl remembered how Haruka's stomach had growled slightly during the English lessons, although she tried to hide it.

_Does she have anything to eat?_

"But you should sit somewhere else. That Tenô girl isn't good enough for such a nice girl like you."

Michiru frowned as she returned from her concerned thoughts. She turned around and faced Yakoto. A small, friendly girl with shoulder long red hair and freckles.

"She's always shouting at people and she only cares about herself."

"Hai, she walks around like a ghost." Said another girl Michiru didn't know her name yet. But she seemed to be Yakoto's best friend.

"She has very bad grades and all she's able is to run. And to shout at people."

Michiru frowned and suddenly felt those soft arms again around her waist. Rocking her comfortingly. Calmingly. Almost tenderly.

_Strange..._

Again she heard all the angry voices shouting at the tall girl who had only tried to defend her.

_To defend me. Someone she hardly knows..._

"Did she ever shout at you?" asked Michiru and put her sandwich away. Suddenly, she wasn't hungry any longer.

"No..." Yakoto's dark blue eyes were suddenly full of tears. "Not directly. Not at me, but..."

"But look at her clothes. She dresses like a man and certainly she's a freak."

That was Mila and Michiru took a deep breath.

_You're repeating yourself!_

She knew girls like these from her former school where she had been the famous, rich, spoiled brat. Such pupils never changed their minds - no matter how long and hard you discussed this topic with them. You couldn't convince them. Not with arguments. Not with fights. With nothing.

It was better to let them in peace and to live one's own life.

"So where can I sign up for the orchestra?" asked Michiru instead and changed the whole topic. Suddenly, she was very determined to search Haruka after school would be over for the day.

dbdbdb

_The Italian restaurant opens at six in the evening. They pay a little bit more per hour than the newspaper delivering service. And I don't have to deliver the pizza so early in the morning._

Haruka yawned while she turned the page.

_Two weeks for the rent, the rest of the month's pay must be enough for food and clothes._

Slightly, she shivered in her school uniform and wished to have her pullover. But it had been dirty and it always needed a long time to get dry again after she washed it. The heating was broken in her room and she didn't know how to repair it.

_It will be very tight, but it might work._

Haruka frowned as she tried again to concentrate on the words in the old book. But they simply danced around in her mind and she couldn't concentrate.

She bit in her apple and chewed slowly. It was her dinner because she wanted to save the little money she had for bad times.

_Worse than these times?_

"English?"

She winced wildly and almost lost her apple as she heard the soft voice above her. She raised her head and looked directly into shinning blue eyes.

_They look so much happier now._

Haruka blinked in confusion.

_Surely she found a lot of new friends today._

The tall girl frowned as the sea green beauty sat down beside her under the huge tree on the cold ground. The grass was still green but dusk was near and it got wet.

_What does she still want from me? Didn't Mila convince her that I am a freak she should better leave in peace? Or is that a trap?_

Quickly, she looked around. But there were no other people around. Only a still smiling Michiru.

"English vocabulary?" asked Michiru again and looked over Haruka's shoulder right into the old, crumbled book that seemed to have served many other pupils before the tall girl.

_Is she cold?_

Michiru wore her white coat now. Haruka still only her school uniform. Her arms were naked and the smaller girl could see the goose flesh.

"Hai, for tomorrow's test. There won't be new pupils every day giving me some more time to learn."

Michiru nodded and leaned closer to the tall girl.

_Does she really know what she's doing? To sit here together with a freak like me?_

Haruka frowned but didn't turn away. The warm body next to her felt so damn good that she would have done anything just to experience that gentle, probably unconscious touch.

_Hope she doesn't hear my heartbeat._

Haruka swallowed hard as she felt Michiru's warm breath on her cheek.

"But that vocabulary isn't so hard to learn." Said Michiru and heard Haruka's dry laughter.

"Shall I help you?"

_Nani?_

Startled green eyes blinked and Haruka ran a trembling hand through her short blond hair. Again she looked quickly around. But there was no Mila hiding behind the bushes. And Michiru smiled too friendly to let this be just a bad joke.

"Shall I help you?" repeated the smaller girl and stroked some strands of her sea green hair behind her ears. Haruka watched her in fascination and had suddenly the strange desire to stroke though those soft looking curls, too.

_Just once. To see if they really feel like velvet._

"There're some tricks to remember them easier."

Still Haruka watched her in silence. Looked at a now smiling face. Redden cheeks. Shinning blue eyes. Wind played with sea green hair and they danced over small shoulders.

_She's so beautiful._

Haruka blinked. She couldn't remember the last time someone smiled at her. The last time someone offered her one's help. The last time someone seemed to care for her.

"Hey, don't worry. I am a good teacher. My niece always says that no one can explain math to her like I do."

You bloody lesbian! 

"Are you sure?" asked Haruka and saw again all those hateful looks. Saw again her hysterical mother before her eyes. When she shouted at her, threw her out of her home. After she had shot her puppy.

_Are you sure that you want to be a friend of a dyke like me?_

"Oh, don't worry, I know that I am a good teacher." Answered Michiru, although she knew what the taller girl had meant.

She took the book in her hands and started to explain. Soon they both were so occupied with the vocabulary that they didn't notice how some pupil went by. Stopping for some moments and pointing over to them. Going away with shaking heads. There was a tall boy among those pupils and he looked very determined when he went back into the school building.

They didn't notice how the sun started to set nor did they hear the school bell ringing for the last time of this day. Now even the last clubs were over and they all had to leave the school before it was closed.

"Oh, already six." Whispered Michiru as she took away the book and looked at her watch. "Well, I guess you know enough now to get a good mark, my English genius." Smiled Michiru and slowly came to her feet. She froze and her whole body trembled as she took her school bag again.

_Doesn't she freeze, too?_

Silently, she observed how Haruka took her books again in her hands and stood up, too.

"I live now in the Ukaido area." The sea beauty searched for her gloves and pulled them over her white fingers. Haruka watched her temptingly.

_Ukaido. That's the noblest area of Tokyo._

"Still I don't know how to get there. I used to live in the outer area of Tokyo and I am still helpless with all the subways and the busses. My father used to take me to school but now..." For a short moment Michiru looked really sad. Alone. Lost.

_I want to go to her and embrace her again. To rock her again. To comfort her again._

But instead Haruka held her books tighter and swallowed hard.

"Each time I try to get a taxi no one sees me and they all drive away." Now Michiru giggled, but it still sounded very sad. "Would you please be so nice to show me the way? Just if you go in the same direction. It would be great. Otherwise, I'll see if I'll get a taxi or if someone can give me his map."

Haruka nodded.

"Of course I can show you the way."

_What are your talking, you baka! You live in the opposite direction and it's six o'clock now. You wanted to go to the Italian restaurant and ask for work. Don't you remember?_

Of course she did remember. But to go for a short time with someone who really wanted to talk to her, who didn't wince away, who wouldn't shout and throw things at her - that sounded simply too good.

"Arigato." Michiru bowed slightly before her and Haruka felt how she blushed.

_Can't remember the last time I blushed._

Haruka shivered slightly as cold wind blew through her short hair.

_Can't remember the last time I didn't feel that alone..._

"Okay, then let's go. Before it's dark and you can't keep the streets we're going along in mind." Haruka walked away and Michiru followed her.

"Oh, I can remember a place when I've been to it once." She said and searched for a scarf in her schoolbag to wrap it around her neck.

Haruka watched her for some moments in silence. A smaller girl in a thick white coat. With white gloves and a red scarf.

_She looks so fragile..._

Suddenly Haruka had the strange desire to protect the sea beauty next to her - without knowing why. The past had showed her too well that all people were ignorant. That it was better to take care for oneself - because there was no other one who would take care of her instead. Everyone was alone. Only responsible for oneself.

_I shouldn't trust her that much. If I do it's too easy for her to hurt me._

That was the reason why Haruka had established thick walls around her heart. Around her mind. Around her whole being. And Kaioh Michiru came in the middle of the night in an empty subway and all those strong walls seemed to fall apart.

_I shouldn't trust her._

But for some reason Haruka already knew she did.

"And this is the emperor's street. If you turn left you see a small park. Often you can hear the duckies pleading for bread." Explained the tall girl and simply ignored her inner voice.

Michiru next to her nodded and declared laughingly that she would have to take some bread with her to feed them the next time.

dbdbdb

"Look at those nice flowers!"

They just passed a flower shop and suddenly Haruka was holding Michiru's schoolbag in her arms and tried to balance it together with her books.

"They're beautiful." Shouted Michiru and leaned closer to the white veils to enjoy the sweet scent. "Guess I have to buy them." She giggled and searched in her coat for some money.

"White roses?" asked Haruka and frowned as she read the price.

_They're very expensive._

Her eyes grew wide as she saw the big note in Michiru's hand. It was crumbled and it seemed to be less money for the sea green haired girl. For Haruka it was a fortune.

"Hai, they're the most beautiful flowers. My mother loved them and everyday we had at least one single rose on our living room table. I used to draw them a lot." Michiru's smile was again sad. Sad and tenderly.

_She must have loved her parents a lot._

Haruka held the bag tighter in her hands and watched how Michiru collected all those flowers and paid them to a smiling young woman. She gave a tip that would have been enough for Haruka to get enough food to survive another long, hard day.

"Look!" Michiru held the big bunch in her arms and a happy smile laid on her normally so pale face. The cheeks were redden and the lamplight's light let her hair sparkle. Some drops in white pedals looked like diamonds and shone in all colours of the rainbow.

_Jut like an angel..._

"My uncle will like them and my niece, too." Michiru giggled and they walked again along the road. "You must know that my niece can be a real devil. If she wants to she can be wild and loud. But she can be calm and nice, too. I like her a lot."

_I wish I had such a family._

Haruka followed her in silence and watched how the smaller girl stopped sfor ome times and enjoyed again the roses' sweet perfume.

"After my parents' death I moved to my uncle. He's a nice man, although he works too much. Often my niece is already in bed when he returns home." Now Michiru was the one guiding them, although she had no idea where she was. Haruka told her time by time when she was about to take the wrong road.

_I had nowhere to go after my mother didn't want me any longer._

Haruka held the bag and the books tighter and they almost fell down.

"Oh, is it very heavy?" Suddenly, Michiru stopped and Haruka almost crashed into her. They reached a park and they both could hear the rushes of the leaves above. They reminded them of an endless, unsteady ocean. Wild waves being touched by an independent wind.

"It's... it's okay." Whispered Haruka and winced as Michiru took her schoolbag again and they hands shortly touched.

"Gomen, Haruka. That's my temper. When I see something that's really interesting I forget everything around me."

_Don't worry. You aren't keen to get to know my temper._

"No problem." Haruka grabbed her books tighter, still feeling the soft fingers on her cold skin. Michiru raised her head and looked directly into dark green eyes. Mysteriously sparkling ones.

_I want to know more about you._

But she wasn't sure if she'd get any answers when she'd ask. Because Haruka didn't look as if she would talk so easily about her life as Michiru did.

_Please, let me be your friend._

Haruka sighed slightly. She didn't dare to ask aloud, because there had been so many people who refused her. Who said no and turned away to leave her - forever.

_Because I can't stand it again to be left alone._

"Haruka?" Michiru frowned and put the bag down. With her now free hand she took Haruka's and held it determinedly tight as the tall girl wanted to step away. "Everything okay?" she asked but didn't expect an answer. Haruka kept silent and couldn't do anything else than watching her with her dark green eyes.

"You can tell me, Haruka. I've seen so many pain during the last months, I understand a lot." Michiru smiled openly, but suddenly tears sparkled in her deep blue eyes.

_She knows how it is to lose parents she loved. But she doesn't know how it is to never have been loved by them. Simply kicked out. She certainly doesn't know how it is to have lived in hell for over so many years._

Haruka swallowed hard as the small hand squeezed her ones gently.

_Certainly, she doesn't know how it is to be a freak._

But somehow Haruka wanted to tell her all her problems. To trust her.

_And to be betrayed again? Forget it!_

"Are you cold? You are trembling." Said Michiru and searched in Haruka's face. But all she found was emptiness. Therefore, she let go of the hands and saw shortly regret and disappointment flashing in dark green eyes. Michiru frowned and took her scarf to pull it around Haruka's neck.

"Better you'll take your jacket to school the next day. Summer's already over and soon it'll start to snow."

_What jacket?_

But Haruka nodded and felt the soft scarf around her neck.

_Velvet?_

_It must have been expensive. This is a gift too big for me._

"I can't..."

"Oh, just take it. I have enough scarves. I freeze all winter and so I got one almost every Christmas."

_Christmas..._

Suddenly, Haruka's expression was very shocked.

_How shall I spent Christmas in this room? All alone..._

Michiru saw it and automatically raised her hand to touch the pale cheeks. To stroke over soft skin and to ask so long until she got at least one satisfying answer.

"Hey, you dyke! Did you find a new victim!" The rude voices pushed them suddenly out of their world of silence. The rushes of the waves seemed to die away and all that remained was the roaring of the engines. Three or four motorbikes circled over the road next to them and the men laughed madly.

"You bloody lesbian! Leave our nice city!"

"Just do us the favour and die!"

"And let innocent girls like her in peace!"

"Dyke!"

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

"Lesbian!"

Again they laughed and the engines roared even louder. They threw something at them but Haruka didn't even wince away as the empty bottle of bear missed her head for only a few inches and crashed on the ground next to her.

"Assholes..." she whispered silently with such an insensible voice that it made Michiru shiver.

The men laughed again and turned around. Their engines could be heard overall in the rich neighbourhood as they finally drove away.

Michiru's eyes grew wider as she watched them go and shocked she took her bag again in her trembling hands.

"Tokyo seems to be a very nice city. Didn't know that." She said with a shaky voice. Not able to look over to Haruka again. Into her sparkling eyes.

_What shall I do now?_

Michiru lowered her head and watched her flowers again. Suddenly, she wasn't happy any longer. Suddenly, she was only sad and confused.

_Is she really a lesbian?_

The sea green haired girl sighed deeply.

_And what if she were?_

"Ukaido is at the end of this park. Just cross it and you'll be home." Haruka's voice was very low and Michiru winced slightly as she heard the bitter cold in it. "It's already seven and I have other things to do."

Haruka held her books tighter in her icy hands and sighed deeply as Michiru didn't look up.

_That was it. Certainly she's afraid of me now. Or she thinks that I am disgusting. I wanted to be her friend and now I lost her. Maybe it's my destiny to be all alone..._

"Better I'll go now." Haruka swallowed hard as Michiru didn't react. "See you tomorrow at school." If you didn't find another place to sit down in class.

With those words she turned away and walked some steps. Suddenly her heart hurt and tears burned in her eyes. Her steps got faster and as she reached the corner she broke into a run. She shut her eyes and simply ran until she was out of breath. Cold wind played with her hair and she wished to be as fast like the wild nature's element. To be able to escape this hell. All this pain. All those bloody people. To leave them behind and to start a new, a better life.

_I didn't want to lose her..._

Michiru raised her head and saw how the tall girl ran away. As if she was hunted by bloodhounds.

"Haruka?" she whispered but knew that the other one couldn't hear her any longer.

_Please, don't go._

But she was already alone in the entrance of the park. She let go her bag and the flowers and they hit the ground with a quiet noise. Michiru wrapped her arms around her shaking body and some tears ran over her pale cheeks.

Suddenly she felt alone again.

dbdbdb

_Hell, I am so tired._

Michiru made a face as she saw her pale reflection in the mirror. Slowly, she ran a hand through her sea green curls and showed herself her tongue.

_Again that silly nightmare..._

Michiru swallowed hard and tears sparkled again in her already redden eyes. She had had one nightmare after another all night and more than once she woke up screaming. She was very grateful that she didn't wake up her niece. The small girl was so quickly concerned about her always sad looking auntie.

Even the hot shower in the morning couldn't calm her down.

Then they had the first hour. Japanese poetry. Haruka didn't greet her when she sat down and it was very hard for her not to break down sobbing as they talked the entire lesson over a poem a Japanese soldier wrote during the war to his parents at home. Not knowing that he would die the same day.

_I don't want to go back._

Half of the class didn't listen and the growling of Haruka's stomach was driving her crazy. Then there was the English test, but she simply couldn't concentrate and Haruka tried more than once to look at her blank sheet.

_We've learned over two hours yesterday. Did she forget everything?_

Michiru's eyes filled with tears as she remembered again those cruel nightmares. Knowing that they all were all too real.

_Mommy..._

_Daddy..._

She sobbed quietly and tried hard to seize on the washbasin. Hot tears ran over her pale cheeks and suddenly she felt very sick. Her stomach hurt and her whole body started to tremble.

_Why did you leave me?_

Again she saw the cruel pictures in her mind. All the pictures they had shown on TV. In all newspapers. Some reporters even tried to interview her, but her uncle showed them determinedly the door and didn't let anyone getting closer to her again.

_Those cruel pictures..._

Of a smashed Ferrari. A silver one. Her father's dream. He used to drive it before his doctors declared that his medicine was too strong to let him drive any longer. Therefore, her mother learned to drive the fast car. A wonderful car.

They left the bending road and drove right over a cliff. There had been no traces of any brakes. Only a wrack down near the waves. With two bodies in it.

_Why...?_

Michiru sobbed even louder and closed her eyes as she heard the school bell ringing for the next lessons. Modern art.

_I am not in the mood to take part._

The sea green haired girl sobbed quietly as she reeled over to the cabins. She locked herself in one and sat down on the closed toilet. Slowly, she brought her legs to her body and wrapped her arms around her knees. Tears sparkled in her deep blue eyes as she stared blankly at the white door. Some words were written down there. Certainly by silly pupils. But she didn't see them. All she saw was a beautiful woman and a lovingly smiling man. And a police man with his cap in his hands who had to tell her that they were dead.

_No..._

_Why..._

"You damn freak..."

The door was pushed open and someone slammed it loudly behind herself. Immediately, the voices died away and all that remained as silence. A strange silence. A wrong silence. A silence that should be filled with loud screams.

_I hate them. I hate them all!_

Haruka threw her black, old schoolbag in the corner and clenched her fists. Shortly, she looked into the mirror to see an angry, tired face. She hadn't sleep at all last night and still waited impatiently for the answer of the Italian restaurant.

_What if they don't want me?_

She didn't want to wash cars all day long. Not when the weather was getting colder and colder and she would have to wash them outside - with cold water.

_Then I'll get a flu or something worse and I don't have the money to go to a doctor._

She sighed deeply as she turned away from her reflection. Today she had worn her pullover over her uniform and the teacher told her that she wasn't allowed to wear it inside the building. So she had put it away - grateful that the teacher didn't take it away from her. But as a consequence she had been cold all day. And now she was also hungry. This morning she couldn't reach an apple and she simply wanted to save her money than to waste it on expensive rolls. Of course Michiru didn't greet her in the morning. The girl simply sat down, opened her book and stared with a tired expression at the words.

_The entire English lessons she didn't write anything down._

Haruka who knew some answers wanted to help her, but Michiru simply didn't react each time she wanted her to show her her answers.

_Maybe they aren't all right, but better to have something on the paper than to give a blank one to the teacher._

You bloody lesbian! 

Again she heard the rude voices inside her head. Again she saw how Michiru simply stared in her flowers after the rude men disappeared on their motorbikes. Again she saw how the sea beauty came into class this morning and greeted everyone - except her.

_See it, she doesn't want to be the friend of a freak._

Haruka took a deep breath and kicked the doors of the cabins. They slammed against the walls and the loud noise felt so good in her angry mind.

_I hate you all!_

The teacher spoke again to her. Her English was bad and if she wouldn't get any better she'd fail this school year. No one wanted to keep a loser. And the teacher said that they all expected her to win the important race between the different schools of Tokyo to have a chance to get to the championship of Japan.

Use your chance, Tenô-san. It is your only one. 

_Hai, because I am too stupid to learn vocabulary and to read Shakespeare._

But the same time she knew that she wasn't too stupid. She simply didn't have the time to study more. It all would have been easier if she'd ask someone for help. But she didn't know whom to ask. Nor did she want to fall on her knees before people who would certainly laugh at her, at her life.

_Just like they already laugh about my appearance..._

The fourth door didn't give in her anger and so she kicked it again. She heard how the lock broke, but the door didn't slam this time against white tiles. The person didn't scream. Nor did she react. She simply sat there and stared at Haruka with wide blue eyes. Filled with tears.

"Gomen, I didn't want to hurt you." whispered Haruka and her anger disappeared within the next minute. It changed into shame - and concern when the smaller pupil didn't react. "Michiru?" Shortly Haruka looked around but they were alone in the girl's bathroom. Slowly, she stepped into the cabin and closed the door behind her. The lock laid somewhere on the ground and she simply kicked it away. Then she went on her knees before the smaller pupil and tried to look directly into teary blue eyes. Suddenly, Haruka didn't remember all her anger any longer. That the sea beauty hadn't greeted her. That they hadn't talked to each other all day after she ran away yesterday. All she saw was the desperate face. A pale face. A beautiful face.

"Michiru?" she whispered again and raised her right hand to stroke some sea green curls on a small back. "Everything alright?"

Michiru didn't react. She only lowered her head and the sobbing increased.

The school bell rang again and the next lesson started definable. But Haruka knew that she wouldn't take part. Mila and her club had tortured her the entire morning and she wasn't keen to see again in that grinning face.

_I won't leave her alone here._

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Haruka and quickly looked at her watch. It was eleven o'clock now.

_I would miss four lessons._

_Not very important..._

She tried to forget the teacher's words while Michiru only shook her head.

_They simply left me. All alone..._

Michiru shook her head again and tried to stand up. Her legs hurt but she ignored it. Quickly, she looked into concerned green eyes and suddenly felt ashamed of herself.

_She always sees me cry. What does she think about me? That I am weak? That I am a silly, rich brat?_

"You miss your parents, don't you?" asked Haruka very silently as Michiru tried to get out of the cabin. The door was already half open as Michiru froze in motion. Slowly, she turned around and now her eyes were filled with sadness - and panic.

"Hai..." it was nothing more than a sob. More tears ran over pale cheeks and automatically Haruka stepped a little bit closer and wrapped her arms around Michiru's trembling body. Deep blue eyes grew even wider.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Haruka swallowed hard and wanted to let her go. She knew that she shouldn't have touched her. Now the smaller pupil would tell to it the whole class and her life would even be worse.

_But she looks so alone. No one should be that alone..._

"Please..." Michiru's hands grabbed her waistcoat and held it desperately tight. "Please don't go..." she whispered and cried even more. Her sobs filled the bathroom and she leaned her head against Haruka's chest. The tall girl winced as her shoulder started again to hurt. Nevertheless, she held the trembling girl in her arms tighter, leaned her head against hers and whispered calming words. All the words she once wanted to hear from her mother when she told her that her father came to her in the middle of the night. But all she got were a rude laughter and the words that it was all her fault. That she had provoked him.

_I won't go, Michiru. As long as you don't push me away. Like all the other people did..._

She swallowed hard and started to caress over the small back.

_She's very slim. Too slim for a girl of her age._

It took a long time until the smaller girl calmed down. As Haruka looked down there were still tears running down a pale cheeks. They were clear. Just like diamonds. But a thin smile laid on that sad face, too.

"Arigato..." whispered Michiru as Haruka handled her a handkerchief - without letting her go. "Normally I don't cry that easily and that often."

_But this time isn't normal at all._

"Don't worry. Cry as many times as you have to cry." Answered Haruka and stroked through sea green hairs.

_They indeed feel like velvet._

"I am there - if you want me."

Michiru nodded and looked for a long time into mysteriously sparkling dark green eyes.

dbdbdb

"Don't worry about the lessons. My uncle is doctor. He'll give me an attest, because I was feeling ill. And you were the one taking me home. Therefore, the teachers won't kill us tomorrow." Explained Michiru as she opened the door to the restaurant. It looked very expensive and suddenly Haruka felt totally out of place with her worn out pullover and her old pants.

"That's what you call feeling ill?" she asked and blinked as a man with a black suit came over to them.

_That's all too expensive. Guess I can't even afford a simple tea._

"The whole morning I couldn't eat anything and now I am simply hungry." Answered Michiru and talked shortly to the man. The next minute they sat at a small table next to a huge window. Next to a warm heating. Haruka sighed happily, because all morning she had felt very cold. Quickly, she looked around and saw the chandeliers. They shimmered in all colours of the rainbow. There were a few people sitting at other tables. It was early afternoon. Lunch time was over and it was still too early for dinner. In the middle of the restaurant stood a huge aquarium with a lot of shinning fish. Overall were exotic plants and Haruka asked herself why the man with the black suit hadn't thrown her out yet.

"What do you want?" asked Michiru while she studied the menue. "I've been here twice with my uncle and my niece and I have to admit that the fish is great. But the last time my niece had noodles and they looked very delicious, too." Michiru giggled while reading. "You should've seen her. She dirtied her clothes and the whole table with the tomato soup. And when the waiter asked us if it was delicious, she nodded and grinned at him with her redden mouth. I simply love her. She's a cute little girl and she's so funny, although she's very ill..." The last sentence let Haruka turn around. There was again such a sad look on Michiru's face, but there were no tears in her deep blue eyes.

"She's a real tomboy. Guess my uncle did something wrong when he raised her. But I love her the way she is." Michiru looked up and smiled into a pale face.

_Why is she so nervous? Doesn't she like the restaurant?_

Secretly, Michiru looked at the worn out pullover and knew what Haruka was so concerned about.

"Haruka?" She frowned but at that moment the waiter came and bowed slightly before them.

"What do you want?" he asked and lightened the candle between them.

"..." Haruka lowered her head and stared helplessly into the card. The prices were even higher than she had expected.

_That's too expensive. I don't even have the money to buy a whole loaf bread – I can't eat in such a noble restaurant._

"Do you like noodles?" asked Michiru and smiled friendly at the waiter. He smiled friendly back and waited patiently.

_Nani?_

"..." again Haruka didn't know what to say.

_Better I'll get up and leave this restaurant as long as I am still able to._

_Everyone eats noodles._

"Twice menu twelve and two teas with milk." Ordered Michiru and nodded as the waiter disappeared with another bow.

_I can't pay that!_

Haruka swallowed hard and slowly laid the card down. Suddenly, she felt trapped and didn't know what to do. Simply to run away wasn't possible any longer.

_Maybe I can clean the dishes..._

"May I invite you, Haruka? As a small arigato for you being there - twice when I didn't feel so happy." Asked Michiru and leaned slightly forward. To take an icy hand in her own one. Slowly Haruka looked up and frowned. Then she nodded. Relieved and thankful.

_Is she a friend now?_

However, she didn't dare to ask. Nor did she dare to move. To break the gentle touch to the sea beauty in front of her. To look away from shinning blue eyes.

"It isn't easy to live without them." Said Michiru after a long pause in which they simply sat their. Holding their hand. Looking at each other. In a warm, pleasant silence. Haruka nodded slightly. She knew that the smaller girl was talking about her dead parents. "The nightmares are horrible and I didn't sleep at all last night. Every time I heard a car on the street I stood up and ran to the window. But all cars past by and there was no silver Ferrari coming home. They didn't return in the middle of the night to tell me that it was all just a big mistake. That another Ferrari had an accident and that they had been to one of my father's concerts..." Michiru swallowed hard and felt how Haruka's hand squeezed her one comfortingly. She didn't find annoyance or even boredom as she had found in so many faces before. All she found was sympathy - and understanding.

"It's okay at home. With my uncle and my lovely niece. But sometimes the memories are too fresh and... and it simply hurts to be alone. My uncle is very concerned about me and my niece tries everything she's able to make me happy. She draws cute pictures and she even made a nice doll for me. But she's only five years old and I can't tell her what I am afraid of..."

The waiter came back with their lunch and Haruka blushed slightly. But Michiru didn't let go of her hand and the waiter pretended not to see it. He placed the hot teas and the steaming noodles in front of them and wished them a good lunch. Then he bowed again and disappeared between the tables, the plants and the aquarium. But he would be there when Michiru would want anything more.

_Can't remember the last time I had a real, a _warm_ meal..._

Haruka swallowed hard as she looked down at her plate. She smelled the delicious scent and immediately her stomach started to growl again.

"I miss them so much..." Michiru took a deep breath and wiped away some tears with her free hand. Then she smiled a sad but honest smile and squeezed Haruka's hand for the last time before she let go and took her fork. "But now we should eat before it's getting cold."

Haruka nodded thoughtfully and looked over to the smaller girl who wanted to be so desperately strong but was weak and broken inside. Who was hurt and simply wanted to heal her world - knowing that there was no possibility left to do so.

"If you'll ever need a comforting word again, just ask me, Michiru. Maybe I am a freak, but I know that one can be sad sometimes."

_Especially in such a bad time._

Michiru nodded and watched how Haruka ate with hunger and great appetite. A thin smile appeared on her face and she tried to reach the sugar to sweeten her tea. It was too far away and Haruka gave it to her.

"Arigato."

Their hands touched again and they both froze for a moment that was over too soon.

_You aren't a freak. You're my one and only friend. My real friend._

Michiru smiled as she tried her meal, too, and knew that it had been the right decision. It was simply delicious.

dbdbdb

It was already dusk when she walked home. Her pullover could hardly hold back the bitter cold from her trembling body. It was November, autumn was almost over. The radio already talked about snow.

Haruka held her schoolbag tighter and brought her hands to her mouth to warm them with her breath. Tiny clouds filled the air before her face.

_Soon it's winter and I don't have a jacket. Nor boots._

Sadly, she looked down at her shoes and knew that they wouldn't make it another winter. Maybe not even another month. They were simply worn out and she had to take care that she didn't step into a puddle. Because then she would have got wet sockets.

Nevertheless, Haruka smiled. The stars above seemed to sparkle happily in an endless, dark sky. It was calm in the inner city. Some cars passed by but the time of the traffic jam was over. It was past eight in the evening and all afternoon she had sat in the small restaurant with Michiru and they had talked about all things that came into their minds. About school, about tests. About English and the orchestra Michiru would join the coming week. About her CD Haruka had never heard and about Michiru's hobby drawing nice pictures. To prove it she took a sketchbook out of her schoolbag and drew the candlelight standing on their table. It looked so real that Haruka watched it for a long while and said quietly that Michiru was indeed talented.

So Michiru gave it Haruka who didn't want to take it at first. But then she was happy and put it carefully in her own bag. Between her old book. Knowing that she would put it on the wall in her room. So that she would have something to remember whenever she woke up in the middle of the night and knew that she would stay awake for the next endless hours.

They talked a lot about the championship and about Michiru's uncle and niece. Michiru declared that she wanted to introduce them to her and Haruka agreed although she wasn't sure if her uncle really wanted to see such a poor, bad pupil near the rich, talented sea beauty.

_We talked all day. But we didn't talk about her parents death any longer. Nor did we talk about my family situation._

Haruka was grateful about this fact. Michiru tried to ask her but changed the topic when the tall girl kept silent.

_I don't need her sympathy._

Thoughtfully, she raised her free hand and touched the velvet scarf around her neck. Michiru insisted that she should keep it when she wanted to give it back shortly before they left. Haruka walked with Michiru until they reached again the park and they finally separated.

_Can't remember the last time I have been so full._

After they ate their noodles and drank the tea, Michiru looked again at the card and ordered two huge ice creams. With wiped cream and fruits. And as she had promised earlier, she paid in the end. It was a very expensive restaurant and Haruka gasped for breath as she heard the sum. It hadn't seemed to be a lot for Michiru who gave again a big tip.

_Hope she doesn't think that I am too poor to pay for myself._

Haruka stopped and closed her eyes for some seconds. Still touching the scarf.

_And what if she thinks so? It's the truth. I am as poor as a church's mouse. It is enough to survive - as long as I get a part time job. But it's not enough to eat in such a noble restaurant._

Nevertheless, it had been a great afternoon and she was a little bit sad that it was over. Not knowing if they'd repeat such a nice day again.

Again she felt the soft hand reaching for her one. Holding it tight - even when the waiter came with their noodles. Again she felt the trembling body in her arms. Heard the choking whispers near her ear. Knew that the smaller woman went through hell - and she couldn't help her. Really help her. Her parents were dead and no one could bring them back. With no power of this world.

_I wish, I could do more for her. I wish I could let her pain go. I wish I could make her laugh. Happy..._

"What are you doing in such a noble region of Tokyo?"

The rude voice interrupted her dream so suddenly that she couldn't react. She opened her eyes and saw the objects being thrown at her. She felt them hitting her, heard glass crashing next to her on the stony ground.

"You shouldn't be here, you freak!"

Again there were three or four motorbikes running in a circle around her. They simply jumped on the pavement and suddenly she was surrounded by them.

_What do they want from me?_

She blinked and felt how something else was thrown at her. No more bear bottles, but vegetable. Old vegetable. It smelled terrible and the tomatoes dirtied her pullover.

_Shit! It will take me all night to get it clean again._

She knew that she would freeze the entire day tomorrow. because it would take her another day to get her old, worn out pullover dry again.

"You bloody dyke! Go away! Leave our city! Leave us in peace and our friends. Our family! We don't need someone like you!"

Another tomato hit her head and red fluid flew over her now pale face. Her dark green eyes sparkled and automatically she clenched her fists. But she didn't react. She knew that the motorbikes were faster than her. Even if she were the best athlete at school, she wasn't as fast as a motorbike.

_I wish I were as fast as the wind..._

"We don't want you here! Do you hear me, dyke? We don't want you in our city nor do we want you in our school. So leave!"

She heard the threat, but she only watched them in silence. Felt how another vegetable hit her. It was a potato and it hit her right shoulder. She gasped hard for breath as the pain flashed again through her body. As it did every morning when she dressed herself and tried to get ready for school. To survive another day in hell.

_When I win the championship I'll be able to escape them at last. Then I'll go in an athletic team, win gold medals, get price money and go somewhere else where no one knows me._

_To leave Michiru?_

She swallowed hard and saw the glass sparkling in rude hands. She didn't blink. She didn't even wince when it hit her right into the stomach. She only made a little sound as if all breath was knocked out of her lungs.

"You bloody lesbian! This is our last warning!"

But she knew that she wouldn't go away. Not today, not tomorrow. Not that easily.

The engines roared loudly as the men turned around and drove away. Leaving her in peace. In silence. All alone...

_Asshole!_

She gasped hard for breath and the schoolbag hit loudly the ground as she simply didn't have enough strength to hold it any longer. Slowly, she went on her knees and stared blankly at the ground around her. At all the smashed bear bottles. Smelling the strange scent.

The pain increased inside her body and she groaned slightly. She raised her hand and touched carefully her right shoulder. For a long time she watched her hand, saw the red fluid on her fingers. Knowing that it wasn't the remains of a tomato.

dbdbdb

It was hard to concentrate. She sat there in the living room. All lights were switched on. The flower in front of her stood peacefully on a table and she looked at it for a long while. Looking at the red blossoms, the green thorns. Just seeing the beauty of such a normal flower.

A rose.

But whenever she looked back on her white easel she saw a dark night. A silver Ferrari slipping off a bending road. Burning when it hit the cliff. Exploding in a huge ball of fire.

_I only want to draw again._

It had been easy to draw the candlelight when Haruka had been around. When anyone was around. But at the moment she was alone and she couldn't concentrate.

_I don't want to draw such a dark, depressing picture again._

Once her uncle discovered such a picture and since that day he had been even more concerned about her.

_He knows how hard it is to lose the persons you love. But he has his daughter. I have no one..._

Again she looked at the rose and sighed deeply.

At that moment the bell rang.

"Princess? Can you open it?" Surely it was the pizza she had ordered half an hour ago. Her uncle was still at work - as he always was in the middle of the week and so she let her niece chose. The little girl looked at her with her big pleading eyes and so they decided for pizza. That was okay for Michiru. This way she didn't have to cook and had more time for her drawings.

_As long as I get one clear thought!_

The bell rang a second time.

"Princess?"

A door opened.

"I just have to dress my pants." Shouted a high voice somewhere from the bathroom and Michiru had to smile.

"Okay, don't stress yourself, princess. I'll open it and take your pizza." She rose from her chair and heard how some action took place upstairs. Surely, the little girl tried to get dressed in record time just to get her pizza. The last half hour she had already hungry been and complained about it. While looking at the rose and back to her auntie who simply couldn't draw.

The door bell rang for the third time. It was short. Not like the other services when the people mostly had no time and almost slammed the door when they went away. To their bike or their car to get to the next customer.

_Well, we never had that service. Hope it'll taste._

Quickly, Michiru corrected her messed hair while she walked over to the corridor and to the main door. She remembered that they had still pudding - chocolate pudding - in the fridge so she would survive another evening as auntie, mother and best friend.

_And my sweet princess will survive it, too._

She smiled and opened the door. And looked shocked at the person standing outside.

"Hi, Michiru. So this is were you live." Grinned Haruka and held two packets higher. "One pizza with extra cheese and one with fish." She read and blushed slightly.

"What are you doing?" asked Michiru in surprise and looked at the white uniform Haruka was wearing. For the first time she knew her the tall girl didn't seem to be cold.

"I am saving you from starving." Answered Haruka still holding the pizzas in her hands. "And to improve my pocket money."

Haruka's smile got a little bit nervous.

_To earn enough money to get by._

"Ruka!" The scream interrupted the silence between them. A small shadow ran down the staircase, almost flew through the corridor and jumped with another scream into Haruka's arms. The tall girl let go of the pizzas and Michiru was busy to catch them.

"Ruka!" shouted the small girl again and laughed a happy child's laughter.

"Hello, Hime-chan." Whispered Haruka and squeezed the little girl in her arms for some seconds. She looked into dark eyes and love was written all over her now redden face. Love and unconditional trust. Feelings Michiru had never seen before on the always pale and absent face.

Hime-chan?

Michiru blinked, still holding the pizzas.

Ruka?

"I didn't see you for such a long time, Ruka!" said the little girl and her black hair flew over her shoulders as she raised her head and kissed the tall girl on both cheeks. Haruka blushed deeply and the smile became even more tenderly.

_She looks like proud mommy..._

Automatically, Michiru smiled. Then she put the pizza aside and walked over to Haruka to free her.

"Hey, princess, don't kill her. She's already all red. She needs her breath." She declared and Hotaru let go of the tall woman with obviously a lot of hesitation.

"She's your niece?" asked Haruka still looking at the small girl with the big grin on her face. Excitedly, dark eyes watched her openly.

_It's been such a long time now..._

Haruka swallowed hard as she remembered how she got to know the small girl. It was now almost one year that she saw the little girl of just four years running through the park. Being hunted by some older children who went with her in the same kindergarten. They wanted to hurt her. Her, the always ill, always choking little girl. A wild tomboy who had too many attacks. Everyone was afraid of her. The witch, as they all called her. The little girl stumbled and fell down. She didn't weep nor did she scream. She only cried in silence when the other reached her.

_She looks better today._

Haruka could remember how she defended the little girl who had another attack. And high fever. How she cared the whole night for the small girl - living in fear that she could do anything wrong. Until dawn came, the fever sank and Hotaru was able to tell her where she lived.

_Hope the other children are nicer to her now._

"Hai. Tomoe Hotaru. A little tomboy and devil, but when you're sleeping, you're nice, aren't you?" Michiru grabbed with her free hand her niece and hugged her softly. The little girl nodded, still looking at Haruka.

"Please, Michi, can't she eat with us? There's enough pizza for all of us." Declared the small girl and the next second Haruka held her again in her strong arms. Ignoring the pain flashing through her right shoulder.

_I've never seen her this way. Being so trustful to someone. After her mother's death she was a lost, little girl. She only trusted her father and my family. And now she hangs on Haruka as if she were her only life line._

_Michi?_

The tall girl frowned and automatically held the little girl tighter.

_I don't want to let her go. She likes me the way I am. She never asked stupid questions about my appearance. She has no prejudices. She really seems to love me._

She blinked as tears burned in her eyes.

"If you want to stay, Haruka, we have enough pizza. Hotaru is right. And I already did my homework." She smiled and walked over to the living room. The table was already set and she simply took out another dish. Quickly, Haruka looked back at her bike outside and saw the dark clouds. Soon it would start to rain. A cold, heavy rain with big, freezing drops.

_This was the last address this evening. The last two pizzas._

Now her shift was over and all she had to do now was to give back the bike to the restaurant. So that the shift at midnight had it. But there was a long time until midnight. Hotaru in her arms felt so warm and she had to admit that she was indeed hungry. All day she had nothing more to eat than an old orange.

"What do you think, Hime-chan? Do you really want to share your pizza?"

The little girl only nodded and held her even tighter.

So Haruka closed the door and came slowly over to the living room. She stripped her wet shoes and walked in socks over soft carpets. Expensive carpets. Suddenly, she was ashamed about the holes in her old sockets.

_At least they're clean._

Michiru didn't notice them. She just opened an apple juice bottle when she came over. There was soft music playing in the background. Violin music. Haruka didn't know it. Maybe Mozart. Maybe Beethoven.

_It sounds nice. Touching. Tender..._

"Hotaru!" Michiru crossed her arms before her chest and looked directly into her niece's face. "Don't you think you're old enough to eat on your own?" The small girl lowered her head and it seemed as if she wanted to sit on Haruka's lap all dinner.

"Oh, don't worry, It's okay. She's not very heavy."

_She's too light for a girl of her age._

So Hotaru made a satisfied face and kept sitting on Haruka's lap while she reached for her pizza and started to eat with such an appetite the little girl hadn't shown during the last week.

_Last weekend she had another attack and threw up all her food. It was alike what we gave her, she simply couldn't keep it down. _

Michiru watched her for some seconds in silence.

_I am glad that it tastes today. She needs her meals to take her medicine. To be strong and wild again. And maybe, to be healthy again one day._

"Ruka's my best friend." Said Hotaru between the second and the third slice of pizza and made an important face. Some spots of tomato soup already covered her white t-shirt and her mouth was redden. Her dark eyes sparkled happily and the little girl looked like a normal, healthy, wild child at her age.

Haruka blushed as she heard those innocent, honest words but a thin smile appeared on her face, nonetheless, as she looked tenderly at Hotaru on her lap.

"And she's your friend, too, auntie Michi?" Hotaru looked from loving deep blue eyes into startled green ones without noticing it. She took the fourth pizza piece and frowned. Then she cut another one and put it into Haruka's suddenly icy hand.

"You should eat something, too. The whole pizza is too much for me. It's with a lot of cheese and it's delicious!" The little girl smiled happily.

For a long time Michiru watched Haruka who saved more than once the carpet when Hotaru let go of her slice and grabbed for her apple juice. The tall girl didn't dare to eat until the little girl was full. Then she started to eat, too. She ate carefully and slowly. But suddenly Michiru knew that Haruka was very hungry. Just like yesterday.

"Hai, we're good friends, aren't we, Haruka?"

Haruka raised her head and looked thoughtfully at her. Then she nodded and automatically repeated Michiru's tender smile.

Hotaru laughed in satisfaction and reached again for her apple juice.

"That's good."

With those words she knocked over her glass and transformed the table into a huge lake.

dbdbdb

"Were you able to solve the English homework?" Michiru filled the dishwasher and closed the door. They had sat there at the table for over two hours and simply talked. In the meantime Hotaru fell asleep in Haruka's arms but the tall girl didn't want to lay her down on the couch. She simply held her tight and watched her for a long time while Michiru talked.

Michiru started the dishwasher and went over to the living room again as no one answered.

"Haruka?"

She froze in motion as she saw the two persons lying on the couch. Sleeping deep and tight. Hotaru laid still in those strong arms. Feeling safe and secure. A smile was on her face as she crept closer to the warm body next to her. Her black hair was messed as she leaned her head against Haruka's chest.

The tall girl slept, too. She had put her arms carefully around the little girl. Blond strands covered her closed eyes and a tender smile laid on her face.

Michiru looked at them for a long time. Not able to move. Suddenly tears filled her eyes and she went over and covered them carefully with a soft blanket.

_Ruka..._

Carefully she stroked through blond hair and wondered again why the others didn't like the tall girl. Hotaru, who trusted seldom anyone, liked her obviously.

_They're all silly, blind brats._

Michiru sighed deeply. Then she sat behind her easel and simply started to draw. The pencil flew over the white paper and soon the picture evolved on the paper.

It was the first time that she didn't draw a deadly accident. That she didn't draw about her hate, about her despair. About her fears.

For the first time she smiled while she drew.

dbdbdb

"Ruka?"

The soft voice woke her slowly up. It was dark in the room and she needed some moments to remember where she was. The warm couch was strangely cold beside her. Someone was missing.

"Where's Hime-chan?" she whispered and her voice was full with sleep.

"She's in bed. Better you go to bed, too. The couch is too hard. We have a guest room. You can take it, if you want. My uncle can drive to school us tomorrow and we can fetch up your things before we get there." Said Michiru and Haruka felt soft hands stroking through her short blond hair.

The desire to stretch her arms and to embrace the sea beauty was almost irresistible.

_Guest room? Go to bed?_

"How late is it?" she asked tiredly and rubbed her eyes. She gasped for breath as her shoulder started to hurt again and it took her twice attempts until she sat again on the couch.

"It's past two in the morning." Whispered Michiru and saw how Haruka's tired eyes grew wide. "Is that too late?" Suddenly she remembered that Haruka still wore her pizza uniform and swallowed hard. The tall girl had looked so cute on the couch that she simply didn't have the heart to wake her up. Haruka looked as if she hadn't slept a lot the last nights and over her drawing Michiru forgot time.

_Two in the morning?_

Haruka sighed deeply and ran a shaking hand through her messed hairs.

_The midnight shift is over. And they didn't have the bike..._

She stood up and looked directly into concerned deep blue eyes.

_So I have to look again for a part time job. They won't forgive me this mistake._

"Don't worry, Michiru." Haruka managed to smile and slowly walked over to the corridor. Her shoes were still wet and cold but she forced herself to pull them over her old socks. "But I guess it's better when I go home now. Arigato for the pizza and for the nice evening."

Quickly, Michiru took Haruka's cold hands in her own and held them determinedly tight. It seemed as if she wanted to say something, but then she decided to keep silent.

"I see you tomorrow in class." She whispered and yawned slightly.

"Hai."

Haruka let go of the hand and opened the door. Hesitatingly, she looked back. Into deep blue eyes that were full of friendship and trust. There was no hate. No anger. No disgust.

My friend...

dbdbdb

The window pane was dirty. Very dirty. But still she cold see the moon shinning between thick clouds. It started to rain shortly after she had left Michiru's house and of course she was all wet when she came to the Italian restaurant.

Haruka sat on the rim of the window and simply stared outside.

_Maybe I'll find another job. Soon._

She didn't want to think of the scream of the restaurant owner. That he had never seen such a lazy person like her.

_Just two more weeks until I have to pay my rent._

Haruka sighed deeply and lowered her head. But there was suddenly a smile on her face and she touched again the scarf hanging around her neck. Believing to smell Michiru's sweet perfume.

_She's my friend now. She declared it loudly in front of Hime-chan. _

Haruka leaned her head against the cold window pane and saw how the first light crept over the horizon. In about an hour she had to be ready to go to school again. But this time it would be a little bit easier to get into this old building than it had been the past two years. Because now she wasn't all alone any longer. Now she had her Michiru. Her one and only friend.

_She called me Ruka._

No one called her different than dyke or lesbian. Or other bad names. Just Hime-chan used to call her that nice nickname. A small child who didn't know that she wasn't normal. That she wasn't the nice girl they all expected her to be. And now Michiru called her by that nice nickname, too.

_I wish it would stay this way. I wish we would stay friends. That the other pupils won't be able to convince her that I am mean and rude. That I am not the right friend for her._

The noise above increased. A woman started to groan highly and the groans of a man joined her some seconds later. A bed started to creak. Louder and louder. In a steady rhythm that got faster and faster.

_Can't you be quiet?_

Haruka lowered her head again and covered her ears with her hands.

_Can't you be quiet for only one night?_

Above lived a young woman of maybe twenty five. She lived alone there. Just like Haruka. To get by. But the woman didn't look for part time jobs. Instead she invited men to come with her to her room.

_Each night another guy..._

Haruka pressed her hands tighter on her ears and started to tremble.

_Can't they just be a little bit quieter!_

Once she went up to them and ask them to be quieter. But the man only laughed at her and the woman declared that they only wanted to have their fun. That they tried to be quieter - but that the bed was old and that it simply creaked.

It lasted about ten minutes until they were finished. Slowly the noised died away and silence was all that remained. A silence that seemed to choke the tall girl.

Haruka wiped away some tears and left the rim of the window. Slowly, she walked over to the door to get to the huge bathroom she shared with all people at this storey. It was dirty and she would never try to use the showers there. But the water was cold and maybe it would help her to wash away the dirt she still felt whenever she woke in the middle of the night and remembered how much they hurt her.

dbdbdb


	3. Chapter 2: Sea goddess

**Chapter two: Sea goddess**

The sea was wild. Wild and endless. Wild and endless and deep. Just like her mind. Her soul. Her whole being.

It was already dawn and the sun rose from the horizon. The water started to sparkle. The orange light was reflected in tears shimmering in deep blue eyes.

_Why did you leave me?_

Michiru wrapped her arms tighter around her trembling body. The schoolbag laid next to her in the wet sand and rough wind played with her long, white coat.

_Why did you have to go?_

Michiru swallowed hard and her hair fell open over her shoulders as the wind undid the knot.

_Why didn't you give me the choice to decide if I wanted to go with you?_

The rushes of the waves sounded appeasing.

_Why didn't you say goodbye? At least goodbye to your daughter?_

But they couldn't calm her down.

"And, how did your boss react?"

Michiru stepped over the wet grass and sat down next to the tall girl. Ignoring the cold creeping under her clothes. Ignoring the dirt on her white coat.

"Guess I have to look for another job. But don't worry, still the pocket money's enough." Said Haruka and put the newspaper away. "And I wanted to go anyway. The money was too less and to drive through the whole of Tokyo just to deliver pizza wasn't what I really wanted. So don't worry."

_Why do I lie to her?_

She frowned as she looked into a tired face. Almost as tired as her own one.

_Because I don't want to concern her. My only friend..._

"The next time I'll ask you when you want to be waken up." Smiled Michiru and searched in her schoolbag for something.

_The next time?_

Haruka leaned back against the trunk of the huge tree and watched her in silence. She tried to creep deeper into the shadows as some pupils passed by and looked at the kneeling beauty. Curiously. But too busy to ask her what she was doing there. So all alone under a tree.

"Nevertheless, it was my fault that you had so much stress last night. Please, take it. I know that I am not such a good cook, but Hime-chan likes it and so I hope you'll like it, too."

With those words she put a small box in Haruka's hands. It was wrapped in a white cloth. It felt warm.

"A bento?" asked Haruka in surprise and couldn't remember the last time someone cooked something for her.

_Not even mother wanted to make something for me. Even at the times father didn't drunk that much. Didn't beat us that much. When we still had enough money to live a normal life._

_Normal..._

"Hai. Hope it tastes." Michiru bowed slightly, then she stood up. "I have to hurry. Today I'll have a rehearsal with the school's orchestra and I don't want to be late." At that moment Haruka saw the small black case Michiru held in her other hand.

_Her violin?_

"Bye. See you later at the swimming pool." Michiru turned away and ran away, because the bell already told her that she was too late.

_At the swimming pool..._

Haruka shivered but knew that there was no chance of escaping the lesson she hated most.

Slowly, she unwrapped the bento and stared for a long time at the food prepared with so much love. The tomatoes looked like little hedgehogs with the parsley in it. And the eggs had little noses and reminded Haruka of little mice. With salad as tails. The bread smelled delicious and it was still warm in her hands.

_When did she prepare it? In the morning? Before she went to school?_

Haruka's throat was tight as her trembling fingers took an hedgehog tomato and watched it for a long time.

dbdbdb

Her dark t-shirt was still dry. So were the boxers she was wearing. Just like the boys did who had the lessons before them. The last of them just left the swimming pool and went over to their own bathroom to take a shower and to get dressed again.

School swimming. The last lesson of this day. Just two more hours and she would be able to go home. To get her hopefully now dry pullover and to ask in other shops for a part time job.

_Hopefully I'll find one._

She was pushed aside not very gently as Mila passed by. She wore a blue swimsuit and her eyes told Haruka that she wasn't welcomed here. All girls wore narrow swimsuits and had long or at least shoulder long hair. Of course none of the girls would have ever dared to say something rude to her while their swimming teacher was around. The strict woman of maybe thirty, maybe thirty five years was determined and she wanted her class to be a team. To be fast in the water. To be one with the element. Of course a lot of pupils failed. They didn't like the water or were even afraid of it. But as long as they tried to be good, as long as they really gave their best the teacher was satisfied. But if you didn't... if you looked at the lessons as a bad joke, she could be a real devil.

Haruka liked that teacher.

"This swimming pool is almost as big as the one we have at home." Whispered Michiru and stood the next moment next to Haruka. Quickly, the sea beauty observed the black t-shirt, then she smiled into a pale face. "Hope the water isn't too hot. When it's too hot I could simply lay on the surface and close my eyes. But then I am not that fast, because then I am feeling like I am in our tub at home."

Haruka only nodded and tried not to look too openly at Michiru's body. The swimsuit was as sea green as her hair and was very tight. It showed all her female outlines and once more Haruka had to admit that the smaller pupil was beautiful.

"Although we have a big tub, Hime-chan always says it's like a swimming pool, too. Made only for her." Michiru giggled but got serious again as the school bell rang and the teacher appeared at the rim of the swimming pool.

Soon they had to count and to stand up in two arrays before the swimming pool. To make a dive and to swim to the other side - about two hundred meters away. The teacher wanted to stop the time and then they wanted to do their normal programme in the water.

"Dyke."

"Bloody freak!"

Again bad words fell behind her. Very, very silently that the teacher couldn't hear them. But loud enough for Haruka to understand.

Michiru next to her turned around and watched the girls behind her. A happy smile laid on her face and automatically the girls smiled back. The voices died away immediately.

"I have problems with the math homework. Can I look at your results to see what I've done wrong or if I've been right?" asked Yakoto and turned around to Michiru. Still they were all waiting in the array until it was their turn.

"Of course. Just remind me in the end of the lesson. The homework is in my bag."

_I didn't know that we had some homework to do._

Haruka frowned and kept staring at her naked feet.

_Well, I wouldn't have had time to do it, anyway._

The pupils swam and the teacher shouted the time and that they should start. She had a loud, high pipe you couldn't overhear when starting.

The next moment Haruka stood at the rim and took a deep breath. Since the guys threw the things at her, her shoulder hurt more and more. She didn't dare to move it and now she was supposed to swim? Of course the teacher would await her to be the best. As she always was.

_I have to be good in sport. No, I have to be the best. Otherwise, they will kick me out from school. And what shall I do without a good graduation?_

"Ruka?"

She raised her head as she heard the tender voice next to her. A silent voice only she could hear. Michiru stood next to her and smiled softly at her.

"It is an honour to swim with you." Teased the smaller girl and got into the right position.

_Honour..._

"Ready?"

She didn't notice that she got into her position, too.

_Honour..._

"Steady."

_I am not honourable._

The pain increased inside her body but she ignored it as she used all her muscles to prepare her body to swim those two hundred meters - with all her powers.

_But she is..._

"GO!"

The pupils started to scream as the two girls dove into the clear, pleasantly cool water. Haruka bit on her lip as she forced her arms to move. The pain was almost unbearable but she didn't give up.

Michiru was right next to her. She was a little bit faster than her and Haruka noticed it. But it didn't matter, because suddenly she knew that no one could beat the sea beauty in her element.

Don't give up! 

Suddenly she heard the soft voice in her head and while she came to the surface to gasp for breath she looked directly into deep blue eyes.

I am by your side, don't be afraid. 

Her shoulder hurt more and more and she was extremely tired with a sudden. But that voice kept her going on. For another move. And another move.

_Just twenty more meters._

The teacher stood excitedly at the rim and shouted the seconds. The pupils stood around the swimming pool and shouted, too. It seemed to be that the Tenô girl would be beaten for the first time.

Darkness waited at the rim of her eyes and her lungs wanted more breath. But she knew that she wouldn't return to the surface again. Otherwise she wouldn't finish this race. Her whole body trembled and she felt suddenly cold. Her eyes burned and she only stretched her arms and fought for the last time.

_At last!_

Her hands touched the rim and she came to the surface and gasped hard for breath. Her fingers couldn't hold the slippery rim any longer and again she dove under the surface.

Two hands grabbed for her arms and she winced very hard as Michiru helped her over the surface again. Thoughtfully looking blue eyes stared for some seconds into tired green ones.

"My congratulations." Whispered Michiru as the girls started to cheer up in the swimming hall. "I've never seen anyone who was a real opponent. You were the first one who could be almost as fast as me. That's seldom. Normally, the people I swim against are on the half of the swimming pool when I reach the rim. You were only some inches behind."

Still, Michiru held her and Haruka grabbed blindly for the rim until she got it.

"Yippee! Michiru won the race!"

"Hai, she's the fastest swimmer of our class!"

"She's even faster than the bloody Tenô-girl."

_The bloody Tenô-girl._

Haruka closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Everything alright, Ruka? Are you able to get out or shall I help you?" asked Michiru so quietly that the cheering girls couldn't hear her words.

_Ruka..._

Haruka opened her eyes again and shook her head. Then she freed herself and forced her body to move again. To climb out of the swimming pool. To ignore the rude shouts of the girls around. Until the teacher told them to be quiet. The silence which surrounded them now was even worse.

"Incredible!" said the teacher and showed the still waiting girls to stay at the rim for another minute. Then she came over to the two girls and shook first Haruka's then Michiru's hand.

"You've broken your record, Haruka. You've been almost one second faster than in your best days." Her smile was friendly and honest but Haruka felt miserable. She only wanted to leave. To go in her small room at the end of the world. To sit down on the window's rim and die.

"And I've never seen anyone as fast as you've been, Michiru. That was a new school record!" The teacher shook her head again in disbelieve and took a deep breath. "That was really good, you two." She said. Then she turned away to take again care for the other girls. Curious looking girls.

Michiru nodded and smiled. Then she looked at Haruka who still stared at the wet ground. There were again excited voices around them, but the tall girl didn't seem to hear them at all. She reeled slightly and her whole body trembled. Now the t-shirt was wet and Michiru could see the female outlines under the normally wide clothes.

_How does she hide her breasts?_

She could see them now. And she could see how slim the tall girl was. Almost skinny.

_Doesn't she eat enough?_

Michiru frowned and remembered how much hunger Haruka did have when they were to the Italian restaurant and when they ate pizza with Hotaru.

_She's indeed a woman._

Michiru swallowed hard.

_She's not a freak. She's beautiful. A sensible soul..._

At that moment Haruka raised her head and Michiru couldn't define if tears sparkled in dark green eyes. Her face was wet from the water but the expression was sad.

_All alone..._

Automatically, Haruka crossed her arms before her chest. To hide her female body behind them. To hide her aching soul behind them. To hide herself behind them.

_Why are you hiding?_

Michiru wanted to go over to her. To embrace her. To hold her tight. To ask her all the questions she was normally too shy to ask.

_Why are you hiding from me?_

"Ruka..."

Michiru raised her hand - and was suddenly pushed away by some excitedly giggling girls. Again some other pupils were down in the water but none of them would reach her record time.

"You've been great, Michiru!"

"I've never seen anyone as fast as you!"

"You looked like a fish!"

"Like a dolphin in it's element."

"How did you do that?"

Haruka watched helplessly how Michiru walked away with the girls. With a smiling Yakoto. With a wickedly laughing Mila. With other pupils she used to know. Two years ago they had been her friends, too. Before she changed and they showed their real faces.

Again two other pupils started to swim and Haruka decided to step back and to sit down somewhere in the shadows. To watch them in silence and to hope that the teacher would forget her for the rest of the lesson.

"So finally someone beat the Tenô girl."

"And I am really happy that you have been that person!"

Haruka swallowed hard as she saw how Michiru stood beside the rim and talked excitedly with the girls. How she explained them something and raised her hands over the surface. How she laughed happily as Yakoto asked her some questions and how they all looked at her with big eyes as Michiru told them that she used to live in a huge house by the sea. That she learned swimming when she was a little baby. That her mother had been once to the Olympic Games and won a medal for her swimming.

Sunlight shone through the huge windows and covered the sea beauty. The drops in sea green hair sparkled like pearls and in her swimsuit she looked indeed like a mermaid. Like Neptune's daughter. Like a princess of the wide, endless sea.

_Unreachable._

Haruka took a deep breath and automatically clenched her fists while she leaned against the cold wall. Strands of blond hair fell in treacherously shinning green eyes.

_Unreachable for me._

Haruka lowered her head and tried not to hear again the happy laughing voices.

_I don't belong in her world. I am not a sea prince. I am not even a normal pupil. A normal friend. Surely, her uncle doesn't know that she knows me. And surely he doesn't know that Hime-chan calls me her best friend..._

"You're the best swimmer, Michiru!"

"Can you show me how to dive? It looked fantastic!"

Haruka closed her eyes. No one saw her. No one noticed her. No one took care of her.

"Please, can you show me how to swim like you do?"

The tall girl gasped as the pain increased inside her body, but she kept silent.

_Please, can't you show me how to have faith again?_

dbdbdb

It was silent in the swimming hall. All that could be heard were the quiet rushes of the water. It sparkled in all colours of the rainbow in the setting daylight. Like a golden carpet. Like a never ending fire. Being born of earth and water.

She closed her eyes and spreat her arms wide. There was no wind in the swimming hall, but nevertheless she could feel it playing with her long hair. Again she could smell the salt in the air. Again she could hear the screams of the sea birds high above. In an endless sky. She stepped closer towards the rim and felt the pleasant water around her naked feet. Again she could see the wide ocean right before her.

_This is me!_

Michiru took a deep breath before she let go. For some seconds that seemed to last eternity she flew through the air. Then there was a loud crash as her body dove into the deep water. Then there was silence. Calming silence. Nice silence. Welcoming silence.

_Here's peace._

Michiru dove some meters. Then she turned around and looked at the blurred surface above. She could see the waves, could feel them. But she couldn't hear them. All she heard was that silence that was typical for the wide ocean. It seemed to call her name.

_Here is were I belong._

She spreat her arms again and simply flew in the wet element. Like a bird. Weightlessly. Independent. Not to be bound on the ground. On feelings like sorrow or sadness. On expectations she simply couldn't fulfil any longer. On people who were nothing more than ghosts in her so fast fading memories.

_Too fast._

She opened her mouth and observed in fascination how some bubbles made their way to the surface to disappear there into nothing.

_Just like my parents..._

Michiru closed her eyes again and became one with the waving water. Her body relaxed and she simply was a part of that never ending, never staying ocean that never stopped existing.

_This is my world. Only my world. Where no one can harm me. Where no one can hurt me. Where no one can leave me all alone._

_Are you sure?_

She opened her eyes again as she heard the familiar low voice. The water shivered as another person dove besides her. Michiru was too surprised as two arms grabbed her that she couldn't react that quickly. Someone helped her to the surface and she heard how someone gasped hard for breath.

"Are you okay?" The low voice sounded now very concerned. Michiru frowned and turned her head slightly to look into terrified green eyes. Wide opened.

"Do you want to drown yourself?" Haruka swallowed hard as the smaller girl in her arms didn't react. She only stared at her as if she were an alien. A creature from another world.

_Or has she been the one being in another world? A world only she knows?_

"Everything alright, Michi? Say something!"

_Michi..._

That nickname brought her back into reality.

"Of course." She answered and coughed because she got water in her mouth. "I can hold my breath for a long time."

Haruka looked very doubtfully down at her and pulled her determinedly towards the near rim.

"It's simply so wonderfully peaceful under the surface."

The tall girl looked quickly at her again before she left the water and helped her to get out, too. The huge swimming hall was empty now. They were the last pupils.

"Down there it's dangerous and too less fresh air." Answered Haruka and looked around for their towels. She gave Michiru a dark blue one. It was soft and felt new. Her own one was black and hard. She didn't have the right detergent and it was now four years old. But as long as it did its job she wouldn't buy a new one.

_From what money?_

"Arigato." Michiru wrapped herself in the towel and noticed that she was suddenly freezing.

_Better I'll take a hot shower._

She looked at Haruka who hid her body again - this time behind her dark towel. The tall girl trembled, too, and her lips were pale, almost blue.

_Better she'll take a hot shower, too._

Suddenly, Michiru had to grin.

"Let's take a shower and go home. It's already dusk." She said and took carefully Haruka's right hand - noticing how the taller girl winced slightly.

_What if they aren't finished now?_

Haruka had waited in the shadows for the last fifteen minutes. To be sure that they all left the showers when she got into the bathroom. She could still remember too well the last time she had to join the other pupils. How they shouted at her. How they threw their shampoo at her. And their wet towels. How they screamed so long until she left the bathroom again - voluntarily.

So she watched Michiru diving into the clear water and got more and more concerned while more and more time passed by. Until she decided to rescue her - even if the smaller girl didn't want to get rescued.

"Maybe I should wait."

Haruka blushed and tried to escape Michiru's hand.

_She's surely not very keen on seeing me naked._

"Why?" asked Michiru in surprise and turned around. Again Haruka looked into blue eyes that were almost as deep as the wide ocean.

_I could drown in them..._

"Because I forgot my shampoo."

_You liar! The bottle's empty and you don't have enough money to buy a new one._

"Oh, don't worry, I have enough for the both of us." Answered Michiru and pulled her determinedly with her while she started to talk about the endless sea again she grew up at. Haruka only sighed deeply, but she knew that it would be senseless to contradict the smaller girl.

_Hope she knows what she does. She's very popular._

Haruka shook slightly her head and winced as the pain returned into her body.

_And I am only the school's freak._

dbdbdb

"These showers are so small." Michiru frowned as she stepped into the cabin. "At home we had a bigger one and even my uncle's ones are bigger." The sea beauty put her shampoo bottle down and opened the cabin again. Haruka stood still in the empty bathroom and seemed to wait for her to finish.

"But that's always the problem of poor schools. I am happy that at least the pool isn't as small as I had feared at first." Before Haruka could react Michiru grabbed her left arm and had pulled her determinedly into the cabin. Then she closed the door behind her.

"There's no escape, Ruka!" she teased and giggled. Then she took her shampoo again in her hands and tried to reach the tall girl who winced away quickly.

"Guess it's better for me to wait outside and..."

"Why? To get a cold? And then it'd be my fault. No, Hime-chan would never forgive me if I'd be the reason for you getting ill." Michiru giggled and soon her hands were full with a pink fluid. "Hime-chan would kill me. You're all she's been talking about the past days." With a quick motion Haruka hadn't expected stepped Michiru on her tiptoes and grabbed for blond strands. Soon Haruka's head was covered with her shampoo and there was no way to escape. Michiru stood right between her and the door and she didn't look as if she wanted to let the taller girl go.

"Please, don't..."

_Nani?_

Michiru raised her head and looked into terrified green eyes. In a pale face. She saw how Haruka swallowed and felt the body trembling next to her.

"Hey, what's up, you fast swimmer? Has your hair never been washed by someone?" It was meant as a joke but as Michiru saw how Haruka's eyes grew wide, as she felt how the taller girl clenched her fists she understood.

_No one ever washed your hair?_

She didn't dare to ask it aloud but she knew the answer when she looked into Haruka's pale face. Saw the sad expression in it. Michiru couldn't imagine; her mother had loved to take her cute little Michi-chan into the huge tub and to wash her hair. There were still photos with a laughing little girl whose sea green hair had been covered all over and over with foam. She was holding a plastic dolphin which could swim on the water's surface in her tiny hands.

_Mommy..._

Michiru sighed slightly and her first hectic motions became slower and softer. Carefully, she stroked through blond strands and soon Haruka's head was covered with white foam.

_She's trembling._

"Are you cold?"

Quickly, Michiru turned around and within the next minute nice warm water was pouring down on them. Filling the cabin with steam and warmth they both seemed to have missed during the past months.

"Little bit." Answered Haruka. Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

_What is she doing?_

She didn't dare to move as Michiru took again the shampoo and started again to stroke her hair. Even if it was in vain under the warm rain. Haruka sighed deeply and simply gave up. She leaned against the cold tiles and closed her eyes.

_Whatever she does, it feels so damn good._

Haruka couldn't remember the last time someone had touched her so gently. So carefully. So calmingly. She lowered her head and Michiru stroked again through her blond strands and started to caress her neck; her back under the black t-shirt that pasted to her body like a second skin. Michiru took her hands and forced her with soft powers to destroy the wall she was hiding behind. Soon the arms hang beside her body and weren't crossed any longer before her chest. Haruka blushed slightly but suddenly she knew that there was no reason any longer to be ashamed of her female body.

_Michi isn't offended by it._

Again she felt the soft hands running through her mop of hair.

"Arigato that you saved Hime-chan."

"She told you about it?" Haruka's voice was shaky and she took a deep breath.

_I want to touch her. To wash her hair, too._

But she didn't dare to raise her hands. To move. So she simply kept leaning against the now warm wall behind her, enjoying the gentlest touches she'd ever experienced.

"Of course. You're her hero, don't you know, Ruka?" Michiru's giggle filled the air. A happy noise Haruka could listen to all the time.

_Ruka..._

So soft hands let go of her hair after another long time both girls couldn't define if it had been only minutes or hours. Haruka bit on her lower lip and tried not to show her disappointment. The next moment she gasped hard for breath as she felt those soft hands under her dark t-shirt. Stroking over her slim belly. Her eyes flew open and she looked into a tenderly smiling, blushed face of the sea beauty.

Water was falling down. Warm water. But suddenly Haruka was very hot. She blinked, but didn't dare to move as Michiru's hands made their ways up on her body. Over goose flesh. Slowly, but determinedly. Automatically, the tall girl held her breath and stared like hypnotised into deep blue eyes which were as deep as the ocean.

_What is she doing?_

Michiru looked up to her and her smile grew wider.

_And that shall be the freak everyone is afraid of? Are they all really so blind to overlook the sensible, hurt girl behind the rough facade? Don't they see how much she needs a friend, too? That all she wants are peace and love. Just like we all do!_

Her hands stopped some inches under Haruka's breast which seemed to grow bigger under the black t-shirt. The two girls looked each other deep into the eyes and it seemed as if they wanted to tell each other something.

The next moment Haruka burst out into loud laughter.

"Michi...!" she gasped and tried to escape the smaller girl who used her chance to tickle the taller one. But there was no chance of escaping. Still the door was far away and the ground of the cabin very slippery. Still Haruka trembled too much to be stronger than the smaller girl. Not even the pain flashing through her shoulder could clear her thoughts.

"Michi... please..." she laughed but Michiru had no mercy. The grin on her face grew wider as she pressed the taller girl against the wall and tickled her even more.

_She looks so different when she's laughing._

Now Michiru had to giggle, too, and her powers were leaving her quickly.

_She looks cute..._

At that moment Haruka could escape. But only for some seconds. To open the cabin door and to stumble outside into the empty bathroom. But a giggling Michiru hunted her. Both of them laughed as they ran over the slippery ground. They switched on all the showers by passing by and soon the whole bathroom was filled with steam.

"You won't get me!" shouted Haruka and a happy smile was on her now redden face as she turned around. Michiru almost got her - but then she escaped her again. Maybe the smaller girl was the fastest one in the water - Haruka was still the fasted one outside.

"Don't waste your hopes. I'll get you. That's for sure!" gasped an excited giggling Michiru and grabbed Haruka's right arm. Again pain flashed through Haruka's body and so it was easy for the sea beauty to overpower her. They both laughed again and their happy voices filled the whole bathroom. It sounded like they were in a huge cave. Their voices were reflected from the wet walls. They both lost balance and landed on the wet tiles.

Michiru screamed as she landed on Haruka and for some seconds they both froze in motion as their bodies touched.

"Did I hurt you?" asked the sea beauty concerned and tried to get away, but this time Haruka held her hands determinedly tight.

"No." She answered and tried to get her personal revenge. To tickle Michiru, too. But again the smaller girl was faster and stronger than the pain in Haruka's shoulder. So it was again the wild tomboy who laid helplessly under an excitedly giggling Michiru and could do nothing than to laugh and to plead for mercy.

_I wish she would laugh more often._

Michiru looked into a smiling face, into sparkling green eyes.

"Michiru?"

They didn't notice how the door was pushed open. Nor did they notice that more lights were switched on. But they both winced wildly as they heard the silent, shocked voice. They both frowned and turned their heads. And looked into surprised eyes. Immediately, Haruka's laughter died away.

_Don't stop being so happy!_

But Michiru knew that Haruka wouldn't be so happy again. Not when Yakoto stood next to them and stared down at them in disbelieve.

"What's wrong, Yakoto?" asked Michiru and rose. She wanted to help Haruka up, but the taller girl only slapped her hand away and went over to the still open cabin without looking back. Suddenly, she didn't look any happy at all. Suddenly, she looked very tired and sad.

_And alone.._

Michiru wanted to go over to her. To embrace her again. To hold her again tightly in her arms. To wash again those soft strands. But she knew that she wouldn't. Not now.

"You wanted to give me your homework, don't you remember, Michiru?" Yakoto frowned and watched Haruka, too. But she didn't say anything.

_She's not like Mila. But she's someone who keeps silent when other people shout at her. Because she's frightened._

Michiru took a deep breath.

_And why do I keep silent? Am I frightened, too? What of?_

"It's in my schoolbag. In my sketchbook." Michiru bit on her lower lip and turned around to see how Haruka silently closed the cabin's door behind her. The smaller woman frowned as she saw the red fluid running down a pale arm. The next second the door was closed and Michiru asked herself if it hadn't been an illusion. If it had been just a trick of the light. Just the shadows in the cabin.

_I have to ask her later._

"Come, Yakoto. I'll show it to you." Michiru sighed deeply and followed a still very shocked looking girl over to the changing room.

There she waited over an hour after Yakoto was gone. When she went back into the bathroom, the shower was still working. But there was no sight of Haruka anymore. Nor of her clothes she had laid down in an extra room so that no one would have to see her getting dressed.

Sadly, Michiru stood in the empty bathroom and wrapped her arms protectively around her waist.

_Why didn't you wait?_

The longer she searched for a suitable answer the more she knew why.

dbdbdb

_I have often dreamed of a far-off place _

_where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me._

Again she sat on the sill. Staring out of the window. Into the night's darkness. Soft music filled the air around her headphones. She turned it a little bit louder as the noise increased above her. But today she didn't think about the woman and all her lovers. This night she didn't think about her father. This night she didn't think about the fear she felt almost for two years - before he finally left without a sign.

This night she only thought about a beautiful girl who had been so nice to her. As nice as no one ever had been. This night she only saw deep blue eyes who looked friendly up to her. There was no disgust, no anger in them. No endless, incredible hate. Again she saw the sea green hair surrounding a smiling face while the girl swam like a fish in the clear water. Laughing happily.

_Like a sea goddess..._

Haruka swallowed hard and leaned her head against the cold pane. She sighed slightly and closed her eyes while the music filled her world. A world she wanted so badly to share with someone else. But until today no one had wanted to see it.

_Until today..._

Haruka raised her left hand and stroked thoughtfully through her now dry blond hair. Still, she could feel the soft hands stroking through those strands. Still, she could hear the high, happy voice in her ears. Still, she could smell the shampoo's scent.

_Michi's scent..._

A thin smile appeared on a normally pale face as Haruka opened her eyes again and looked up to the sky. Sparkling stars were reflected in her dark green eyes but all she saw was a sea beauty who obviously liked her.

_I like her, too._

Haruka sighed slightly and turned the cassette. Her walkman was old, very old, but still it worked. That was all that counted. And as long as she had an adapter she could use it without buying expensive batteries.

_I like her very much._

Again she felt how Michiru's hands crept under her wet t-shirt. How they caressed tenderly over her slim belly. Again Haruka heard her fast heart beat in her mind, felt how her whole body started to tremble. Haruka lowered her head and her smile grew wider.

She remembered too well how great the desire had been to take the giggling girl by her side again in her strong arms. Not only to comfort her because of the loss of her parents. But also to...

_To what?_

Haruka frowned.

_To what?_

She didn't find an answer. But she knew that she had liked the feeling of being touched so gently. Of being tickled and being teased around so softly. Of being a real friend.

_Is she really a friend?_

Haruka closed her tired eyes and turned on the walkman. Soon music filled her ears again, her whole world while she slowly settled into sleep.

A real friend. Is that enough?

While the sun slowly started to rise dreamed the tall girl a wonderful dream. A dream she wished to never end again. A dream she shared with a smaller girl who would never leave her again.

_And a voice keeps saying: _

_this is where I'm meant to be..._

dbdbdb

"Noodles!" screamed the little girl and waved her spoon as the waitress brought them their dinner.

"Then let's eat." Smiled Michiru and looked happily into shinning dark eyes.

"Hai!" Hotaru started immediately to extinguish innocent Italian food while her aunt watched her thoughtfully. Again the little girl's father was still at work. There had been another emergency at the hospital and he was needed. So he called them up and told them that he wouldn't come home before midnight. Hotaru looked very disappointed, but she cheered up as Michiru declared that they'd go to a nice Italian restaurant to eat dinner.

_It's just been a few days that Haruka sat there..._

Michiru sighed silently as she remembered a loudly laughing girl beneath her. Again she saw the big green eyes who looked at her dreamily while she caressed a too slim belly. Again she saw the sad expression when she asked if anyone had ever washed her hair before.

Doesn't she have a mother who takes care of her? She's too slim and her clothes are too thin for late autumn.

But somehow she didn't dare to ask Haruka.

_Why not? What are you afraid of? Of her answer?_

Michiru shook her head. Today Haruka had been at school as normal as always. She kept silently to herself during the lessons, wrote in her books as the teachers told them and tried to understand what the English poems told them about Shakespeare. Again she sat down under the tree to eat an old apple. Again she didn't want to talk to any other pupil - except Michiru who joined her in her lunch break to share a bento with her.

_Every time she looks so surprised when I give her the bento. As if she expects that I wouldn't want to talk to her any more. _

The sea beauty took her fork but she wasn't hungry at all.

_I told her that I am her friend now. Doesn't she trust me?_

"It's delishish." Said Hotaru with her mouth fill with noodles. Her mouth was red and her white sweatshirt covered with red spots.

_She looks like a healthy child._

But Michiru knew too well how many pills the small girl had to take before she went to bed every evening.

"And your fish?" Askingly, Hotaru looked at the still untouched trout before she took her coke and drank some gulps.

"Fine." Answered Michiru and ate some tiny bits. She smiled tenderly at her niece who helped more and more noodles to go to the noodle's paradise - her stomach. Michiru's smile broke as she saw how three girls entered the Italian restaurant. They didn't look very happy.

"You shouldn't talk to her any longer!"

Three girls stood suddenly next to the small table and they crossed their arms determinedly before their chests.

"Hello Mila, Susan and Yakoto." Said Michiru and swallowed hard. She knew whom the girls meant but she didn't want to understand why they disturbed her dinner.

_Surely, they couldn't talk to me at school while Ruka was by my side. Because they all say that she has a very bad temper and that she easily beats other people when she's angry._

Michiru frowned but still she smiled at the three girls.

_She never ever tried to hurt me. All she did was to comfort me..._

"Why don't you sit down?" Michiru turned around and signalled the waiter that they needed three more chairs. One minute later the girls sat next to her at the table.

"Do you want something to drink? A tea maybe? It's very cold outside." Michiru turned again to call the waiter, but Mila only waved her hand to stop her. The other girl shook her head while Yakoto blushed deeply. She didn't look as if she wanted to sit here.

"You're a nice, beautiful girl, Michiru. You're popular at our school and we're all your friends." Started Mila with a cold voice that let Michiru shiver.

_Really? You're my friend? Didn't notice._

But the sea green haired girl smiled while her fork played with her fish. The meal was already cold but she didn't care. She wasn't hungry.

"We, that means, Yakoto saw you yesterday with the Tenô girl in the showers and..." Michiru frowned as Yakoto lowered her head and blushed even more. As if she hadn't told this fact voluntarily to the others. "... and because you're new at school and because you haven't known her as long as we do, we came here to warn you." Mila's smile reminded Michiru suddenly of a snake. The other girl, Susan, whose father was an American politician who married a Japanese woman, wore a similar mask. Only Yakoto looked as if she wanted to jump up and ran away.

"We've know her for over 4 years now..."

"For over 8 years..." whispered Yakoto and suddenly tears shimmered in her light eyes. "We went together to school since our first school day..."

"We, Susan and I, have know her for over 4 years when we changed to this school." Interrupted her Mila, ignoring the other girl. "And we know that she's a liar. Maybe she says she's your friend now, but to tell you the truth, she only wants to hurt you. She often beats other people and shouts at them."

Michiru frowned. Suddenly, she saw again a motionless Haruka who stared at the rude guys on their motorbikes with sad eyes. Who didn't even wince when the bottle of bear missed her only for some inches and crashed next to her on the icy ground.

"She has no matters and surely she will hurt you when you don't take care of yourself, Michiru. We all know what she is and if you don't run away quickly, she will rape you."

Again Michiru felt soft arms being wrapped around her waist. Holding her gently while she cried for her death parents. For her so suddenly ending childhood. For a future she would now never experience.

"Do you really think so?" she whispered and Mila's eyes started to sparkle angrily.

"Don't you see it? The clothes she wears, the boy's uniform. And then her hair. It's too short for a girl. Hell, she has bad grades, Michiru. She is under your level. You have the right to have better friends!"

Susan nodded agreeingly while Yakoto only took a deep breath. It sounded like a sob.

"Haruka is a good friend. I don't think that she lies to me. I've always known my friends quite well." Explained Michiru and turned around to eat something from her fish. Mila leaned forwards and grabbed her hand to push her away from her dinner. The sea green haired girl looked up and raised her eyebrows.

"Maybe you're so blind, but she's a lesbian. She doesn't look for a friend. She looks for a whore - and you aren't one, Michiru!"

_Very nice that I am not a whore, Mila!_

Michiru shook her head and the fork landed on the white tablecloth.

"We only want to warn you. You don't know her as well as we do. And she's a dyke. She only brings you bad luck and you're too talented to throw your life away like that."

"So you know her." Answered Michiru and her voice was suddenly very insensible. She didn't see how Hotaru stopped to eat. How she raised her head and how her dark eyes were big. How the small girl stared at Mila with a suddenly pale face.

"For over four years, she's..."

"What is a lesbian?" asked a high voice and four girls winced surprised. It seemed as if Mila would see the girl just at that moment for the first time.

"Auntie Michi?" The fear on Hotaru's innocent face was driving her crazy. She tried to think of any explanations she could tell a five year old girl, but Mila was faster than her. Determinedly, she looked down into dark eyes while she told little Hotaru her opinion.

"A lesbian is someone who isn't normal. Who's crazy. Who hurts other people and only thinks of her own. Who beats other people and who likes no one at all."

Hotaru frowned and swallowed hard. Suddenly tears shimmered in her dark eyes and she looked again like a little, very ill girl. Like a child who lost something really important just two seconds ago. Or someone...

"Mila!" snapped Michiru and tried to get up. To take Mila's arm and show her the door. But she didn't count on her niece's anger.

"You don't know her!" screamed the little girl suddenly and jumped from her seat. She held her coke in her hands and the next moment Mila's school uniform was wetted. "Ruka's my best friend!" shouted the little girl angrily and she started to cry. For another time Michiru saw helplessly how the little girl went on her knees and started to choke. As if she would asphyxiate. Tears ran over pale cheeks and her shoulder long dark hair covered her face in deep shadows.

"Hime-chan!" Michiru pushed a raging Mila aside and knelt down besides the little girl. Carefully, she took her niece into her arms and rocked her calmingly.

"Everything is okay." She whispered and covered dark hair with tiny kisses. "Everything's okay, princess."

"Everything okay? Look at my uniform! The skirt is ruined forever!" growled Mila and stood up. Her eyes sparkled furiously and Susan stood right beside her. She had her fists clenched, too. Only Yakoto kept sitting on her chair, staring sadly into the now empty coke class.

"Do you know how expensive it was? It was..."

"And it was the last they had. Now we have to go to the tailor!"

"Your bloody brat!"

"Small girls shouldn't go into restaurants!"

"I can't believe..."

"SHUT UP!" Michiru took Hotaru in her arms and rose. She looked at them and shook her head. "You want to be my friends and make my niece frightened?" The sea green haired girl felt how two tiny arms were wrapped around her neck and how Hotaru buried her face into her shoulder.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Michiru searched in her pockets and handled Mila a big note. "Guess it's enough for a whole new uniform. And now go! When you're so rude to my niece you can't stay here." The sea beauty took a deep breath. "You're always welcome again when you know to control your thoughts, your words and your temper!"

Mila stepped closer and grabbed the note. Their noses almost touched as she looked into determinedly shinning blue eyes.

"We only wanted to help." She declared and her voice was icy.

"And I only want to protect my niece. She's my family."

"After your parents death. Must be depressing to have such a strange family."

Michiru bit on her lower lip but didn't respond anything. She knew that Mila's parents were divorced and that her family situation was even stranger than Michiru's. But she didn't say a word, because she wasn't as mean as that girl.

"We only wanted to warn you." Said Susan and took her scarf out of her jacket. "Guess it's better to go now, Mila."

"Hai." Still Mila stared into Michiru's angry eyes and shook her head in disbelieve. "Do you really want to be that dyke's victim? Do you really want that she misuses your friendship? You're very rich and popular Michiru. Look at Haruka's clothes. She's poor and one day she'll ask you for money. You will never get it back. Instead she'll take you, too. She'll take you and break you!"

With those words she turned around and left the Italian restaurant. Susan followed her. Michiru shook her head as she saw the waiter's concerned face and sighed deeply. Hotaru cried desperately at her shoulder and she rocked her calmingly. Trying to comfort her.

"Everything's right, princess." She said and sat down again. For a short moment she stared at her untouched fish and put it aside.

"I hate them." Whimpered Hotaru and cried even more. Michiru sighed and stroked through dark hair that felt like velvet.

"They're gone now, princess. There's nothing to fear."

"But Ruka... Ruka's my best friend."

"Hai, she is." Michiru smiled tenderly and kissed a small forehead.

"She would never.. never be rude..."

"No, she would never, princess."

Michiru rocked her niece tenderly and the small girl calmed slowly down.

"That's Haruka only two years ago." Whispered Yakoto and Michiru raised surprised her head. She hadn't noticed that the third girl was still sitting on her chair. That she hadn't followed Mila. That she simply kept silent and watched them thoughtfully. Michiru blinked and stared at a photo Yakoto put in front of her on the table. It showed a young girl of thirteen, maybe fourteen years. Her blond hair wwas shoulder long and curly. She wore the similar school uniform for girls and showed cheekily her legs under the short skirt. A happy smile was on her face.

_Nani?_

Michiru frowned as she saw dark green eyes looking to the one who took the photo. Dark green eyes the young violinist would have recognized everywhere.

"We went together to the hairdresser to get a perm." Yakoto giggled but it sounded very sad. "I've known Haruka since we were small. We went to school from the first year on and after school we learned together hard and complicate math and Japanese. My mother helped us and she was a good girl. Maybe not the best, but she had never had such bad grades she has now." Yakoto sighed deeply. "She was a very good friend of mine and we had a lot of fun. The other pupils liked her, too, although she could be very cheeky. Hai, she had a hot temper, but as quick as she was angry as quick was she calm again."

"What happened?" asked Michiru and took the photo in her right hand while stroking with the left one still over Hotaru's dark hair.

"I don't know. It's been now two years that she came back from the summer break. I was in Europe with my parents, in Greek. So I hadn't seen her all summer." Yakoto shook slightly her head. "She cut her hair and there were no curls anymore. She refused to wear any skirts or dresses any longer and somehow she got the boy's uniform. She had always been a good athlete, but suddenly she was unbreakable. She trained a lot - and didn't learn for the other lessons at all. She shouted at everyone and suddenly everyone who liked her hated her. Mila had been one of her best friends, too. Guess that's why she hates her now so much. She's disappointed that someone misused her friendship and she only wants to spare you this experience, because she adores you, Michiru. You're rich, beautiful and talented. Mila once heard your violin play and she simply doesn't want that the same happens to you."

Michiru frowned, still looking at a happy smiling girl who obviously liked it to be a girl.

"You simply couldn't talk to her any longer and... well... pupils can be mean. So they started to..."

"To shout at her."

Yakoto sighed and nodded. Then she put the photo again in her handbag and shrugged her shoulders.

"I've never dared to ask her what happened. The others thought that she finally found out that she's a lesbian and that this is the way to behave like a lesbian." Yakoto shook her head and saw how Michiru swallowed hard. "I don't believe them. My older sister has a girlfriend and they're very nice to me, to their friends and to each other. But... I am too frightened to ask her. It's hard to be an outcast - especially at school. So I left her in peace - that's what she always wanted to be. To be alone."

_I understand you, Yakoto. But the same time I can't understand you at all._

Michiru remembered again too well how the other pupils had reacted when she had been told to sit down next to the tall girl who had tried to read the newspaper. Who had tried to escape their rude words. Who had simply tried to be somewhere else where no one could hurt her.

"Maybe you're able to ask - and to understand her one day. Maybe she won't push you away and shout at you as she did with us."

_Because I won't hit her back._

Michiru swallowed and frowned.

"I can't remember the last time I saw her laughing. Haruka used to laugh loud and a lot, but the last two years she didn't show any feelings."

She's able to show a lot of feelings. If you look closer. If you let her show them. If you don't turn away before she says anything.

"How did you do that, Michiru? How did you make her laugh?" asked Yakoto and looked suddenly very busy on her watch. Surely, she had to be at home at a certain time and it was already too late, because Mila and Susan convinced her that it was her task to go to the Italian restaurant to rescue the new, talented, rich pupil.

Michiru frowned and held her now sleeping niece a little bit tighter.

"I tickled her."

dbdbdb

She rose from her bed in a hurry. Her eyes were wide open, her mouth formed to a silent scream. Her hands trembled and she knocked over her lamp. She jumped out of the blankets which seemed to be too hot with a sudden. Excitedly, she slammed on the wall until she found the button to switch on the light. It brightened up the room, but still she felt threatened. The night outside seemed to be too dark, the wind seemed to be too rough. And the rain crashing against the window pane sounded like little stones crashing against glass. Glass that could easily break.

_Damn!_

Michiru wrapped her arms around her waist and her entire body started to tremble. Tears burned in her deep blue eyes and she sobbed silently. She didn't want to wake anyone up - especially not her niece. But the nightmare had been too real.

_Again that damn nightmare!_

Michiru swallowed hard and lowered her head. Now the tears ran over her pale face, meeting no resistance. She felt suddenly ill and stumbled over to her bathroom. There she switched on the lights, too. But she didn't dare to look into the mirror.

_Again that damn nightmare!_

The tiles were cold under her naked feet but she didn't care. Again she saw the policeman standing in front of the door. Again she heard the ringing of the bell and then the impatient knocking against wood. Again she read the newspapers, heard the news on TV.

_Again that damn nightmare!_

But she knew that it wasn't only a silly nightmare. She wished, she prayed that it would have been just a bad dream, but every night she awoke past midnight she felt that she was in a strange bed. That she lived now in a room that was not hers. That she moved to this part of Tokyo so that she wouldn't be forced to hear the rushes of the sea outside. To hope that her father's soft piano play would fill the silent night again. To hope that her mother's voice would accompany him and sing one tender love song after another which he only wrote for her.

Every night she dreamed of them her nightmares became realer and realer. Now she could almost hear the crackle of the fire. Now she could almost smell the scent of burning metal, of exploding gas. Now she could almost see her parents angry and determined faces. And since last week they had been afraid, too.

_Had they been frightened before they decided not to brake?_

Michiru swallowed hard again and the nausea increased inside her stomach. Suddenly, the bathroom seemed to be filled with smoke. The smoke of a burning car. With two dead bodies in it...

"No..."

She sobbed as she had sobbed every night - in vain. The sea green haired girl knelt down before the toilet. Wet strands fell in her face, but she didn't notice them. Nor did she notice that her white night dress was wet and pasted to her sweaty, shaking body.

"Why...?"

But she knew the answer too well. Although she couldn't understand it. Although she couldn't accept it. Although she simply wouldn't realize that it had been the last way out for them. For her father to die in honour and for her mother to love him forever.

_And what about me? Why did they simply leave me? Why..._

Again she saw her mother at that morning. How she made her coffee and looked with a strange look at her daughter Michiru had never seen before on her mother's tired face. How she stroked through her sea green strands and smiled down at her child. And only said one sentence.

_You're so young Michiru._

Then, one hour later she left the light house by the sea. And never came back again.

"You simply... left me behind..." choked Michiru and it got harder and harder to breathe. The steam seemed to get thicker and she seized hard on the toilet's rim. Her whole world spun around and she believed to fall. A long way down. No one was there to hold her. To take her back to the normal world. Only falling... without a ground to reach.

Michiru choked again and leaned over the toilet. Then she threw up the few things she ate for dinner. After the girls and even Yakoto disappeared Michiru asked the waiter to get their dinners warm again. But still she wasn't very hungry and Hotaru had been too tired. The little girl only wanted to go home and when they finally arrived at the huge house helped Michiru her niece into her pyjamas and brought her to bed. The little girl was so tired, she didn't even want to hear a fairy tale.

_Guess she's still sleeping._

Michiru's uncle came home very late, but the sea green haired girl didn't dare to stand up and ask him for help. Because there was no help for her problems.

_I can't ask him to listen to my problems, he has enough of his own._

Michiru knew too well how desperate the doctor had been after his wife died because of a tragic accident. Hotaru almost lost her life, too. But she could be rescued - and since that very day she was very ill. The consequences of the accident. Too many smoke, too much fire. Too many wounds. Too many scars that wouldn't heal so easily.

_We all should be grateful that she's still alive._

Her lung had taken a bad damage, too, and so she had to take a lot of medicine.

_That's why she has attacks whenever she gets too excited..._

Michiru lowered her head again and sat down on the soft carpet that covered the bathroom's ground. She brought her legs to her upper part of her body and wrapped her arms around her knees.

_I wish I could help them._

Again she swallowed hard and more tears ran silently over her pale face. Her whole body trembled and she froze like hell. But she didn't notice it. She pressed her eyelids hard together and whispered the text of a song her mother once sung for her whenever she felt sad. Whenever she had a nightmare. Whenever she was frightened that a monster would do her harm - or that a monster would do her parents any harm.

_I wish I could help me, too._

"Sailor Neptune."

At first, she thought that the voice was only an illusion of her tired mind. Of her crazy thoughts spinning around in her dizzy mind.

"Sailor Neptune."

The voice was high, but it sounded older. Maybe of a young woman about twenty five or twenty six. It reminded her a little bit of Kaori, her uncle's assistance. But that voice was tender, calming. Not like Kaori's. Michiru didn't like the red haired woman and as she got to know soon after she came to this house Hotaru hated her. Before Michiru's parents died Kaori took care of the household - and of Hotaru, too. But after Michiru declared that she would take those tasks voluntarily and Kaori should take again care of her uncle's laboratory Hotaru got happier. She loved her new aunt, no, she adored her. Michiru was nice to her and made her laugh. She was so different from Kaori would never leave her alone when the little girl was frightened and alone.

Once Hotaru told Michiru that she was afraid of the dark. Kaori only laughed while Michiru bought Hotaru a small music box that shimmered in the night's darkness.

_I love her._

Michiru sighed deeply. She didn't know if she would want to have children one day. But if she would ever become a mother she wished her child to be like her Hime-chan.

Even if she's too small for her age and very sick, she's still the cutest child I know.

Now Michiru smiled as she remembered Mila's shocked face as Hotaru stood up and splashed her with her coke. How the small girl screamed at the rude pupil and declared that her Ruka was her best friend.

_Guess that's something Mila will never forget again._

The sea beauty clenched her fists.

_Just like me..._

"Sailor Neptune?"

Again that soft voice. It remembered her of her mother. How had she sung a little lullaby each evening. When she had been a small child, too. When she had still felt safe and secure. In the crazy believe that her parents would never ever leave her alone.

Michiru swallowed hard and raised slowly her head. And gasped for breath. And stared in disbelieve at the young woman standing right in front of her.

_Standing? She's floating._

The appearance wore a white dress and she seemed to glow. Like the moon which was covered with thick clouds this night. Long, golden hair almost touched the ground. A small crown sparkled on her head like diamonds as she floated towards the still sitting girl. Blue eyes were filled with tears as she saw all the pain and the sorrow in Michiru's face.

"Sailor Neptune..." whispered the young woman and stretched her hand to touch the sea green curls. But Michiru winced away and swallowed hard.

"Who are you?" she whispered and asked herself if she was going crazy. If her uncle would call the ambulance the next day and if she would spend the rest of her life in a hospital. In a white room with soft walls. Wearing a nice, cute, white jacket.

"Don't be afraid, Sailor Neptune. I am your future Queen." Answered the person and Michiru frowned. Was she still sleeping? Was that another nightmare? Would soon the door to her sleeping room open and the police man would enter it? Would she be doomed to look again out of the window and see the cliff with a burning car lying beneath?

"Sure. And I am a princess and you came to me to ask me to save the world." Said Michiru with irony in her voice and slowly came to her feet. Her legs trembled and she was still feeling very, very ill. But there was nothing left in her stomach she could have thrown up, too. So she went over to her sleeping room and tried hard not to fall down on the soft carpet.

"You already know your destiny? Who told you about it?" asked the young woman surprised and followed her.

"Nani?" Michiru spun around and stared at the appearance in blank horror. "I shall save the world?"

"Hai. That's your destiny. Together with your partner, Sailor Uranus. It's your task to search for the talismans and to help my daughter to become a great senshi. Still she doesn't know about her future yet, but once she knows she'll need you. The both of you."

Michiru gasped for breath as she saw the golden staff floating in front of the young woman's stretched hands. It shimmered in all colours of the rainbow and there was a sea green jewel on it's top.

"Just take it, Sailor Neptune. And you'll know everything about your task. About your past and about your future."

_About my past?_

Michiru blinked and stepped some inches away until she felt the rim of her bed.

_About my past? I know how my past was! I still remember how I opened the door and saw the police man standing outside. I know too well that they're dead. I can very well remember all the news in the papers and on TV!_

"About my past?" she whispered and shook her head.

"Hai. How you lived on Neptune as a princess and..." The young woman screamed as a pillow hit the staff. It landed with a muffled sound on the ground.

"Nani?" Big blue eyes looked at the pale girl in shock who was standing in front of her. "But you're..."

"I am Kaioh Michiru and I know very well how my past had been. How my last four weeks had been. How great it was to take care of their funeral. To stand in an empty house and to know that I'll never hear them coming home again. I know my past too well. And I know my future, you silly queen! I'll keep going. Without them. I'll try to make my music and maybe one day I'll be able to live without them. One day..." She sobbed and another pillow hit the shinning person.

"Maybe I am becoming completely insane now, but I know that I am surely not a princess. And I won't save this bloody world. I have enough problems than to search for any stupid jewels. If you want talismans, go to the market and buy two." Michiru grabbed for the blanket and put it over the shinning woman who started loud to scream because she couldn't see anything any more.

"Thanks for that offer, queen, but I am not the one you're looking for. I am not born on a far away planet and I am surely not the one to save a world I am hating right now." Michiru took a deep breath. "It's very hard to live, queen. To keep going on every day. To get up every morning. To endure these nightmares every night. I am not strong enough to save anything." Suddenly Michiru's voice was nothing more than a sob. A screamed sob.

"And now just leave me in peace! Why can't everyone just leave me in peace? I've sacrificed enough in my life. Do you hear me? It's enough now! It's over. Finally over! I only want to live and not to be reminded..."

With those words she turned around and left her room, running. Tears wetted her cheeks, but she didn't notice them as she slammed the door right behind her.

"Oh..." now the light appearance was able to free herself from the blanket. She threw it on the ground next to the pillows. Of course she had expected that the future senshi of the wide ocean would ask her a lot of questions. That she wouldn't believe her first - until she touched her henshin. But she hadn't expected to be attacked by pillows and other stuff.

"There's so much pain on this world." Whispered the young woman and bowed to fetch up the golden staff. Thoughtfully, she looked at it and tears shimmered in her light blue eyes. "I wish I could change it. I wish I could help you. But I can't. Not now. Not in the way you wished me to do." Deeply she sighed and put the staff to another one she was carrying, too. It had a golden jewel on the top and the queen suspected that she wouldn't have more success with the other outer senshi.

"But you have to accept your destiny. To be a sailor senshi is your fate, Neptune. It's your mission to search for the talismans and to protect this world - and to help my little daughter."

The appearance wiped away her tears and suddenly a tender smile was on her face.

"You can't run away, Neptune. Because no one can escape one's destiny. You'll accept it one day and I'll help you to accept it sooner than later."

The next moment the young woman vanished and all that remained was a small whisper that was carried away by the wind who blew through the suddenly opened window.

"But don't be afraid, Neptune. You won't be alone on your mission..."

dbdbdb

_The last paper._

Haruka yawned tiredly and tried to wrap herself deeper into her old pullover. However, it didn't hold back the bitter cold nor the cold rain falling down. It had started about two hours ago to rain and the tall woman was wet all over.

_Just get home and try to dry my clothes._

Again Haruka yawned and shivered. Her bag was now empty and she had carried out all the pamphlets of the huge mall that would open next week. Right in the centre of Tokyo. She read in the newspaper that they searched people to carry out small papers which showed the people what they could buy in the new shopping centre and when it exactly opened. Haruka asked if she could help and they really took her. It wasn't very much what she earned per paper but it was enough to get by - at least for the next week. This night she earned enough to buy her food the next week and when she found another job to earn enough for the rent she would be very happy.

_But this job is not forever. Only this week until the mall has opened._

But it was a ray of hope.

Her stomach started to rumble and she searched in her pockets for a roll she bought right before she started her new job. Now she bit into it and chewed slowly. So that it would last for some more moments.

_I wish I weren't that poor_.

Haruka held her empty bag tighter and sighed slightly. She turned around the corner and decided to take a short cut. It wasn't the best street of Tokyo and once her mother had warned her not to go to this place. But she wasn't in danger. She had no money and no one attacked someone who obviously looked like a tall boy.

_I am as fast as the wind._

Even if they tried she'd run away and they wouldn't catch her. No one had the slightest chance to beat her.

_Only Michiru was able to beat me - in the water._

But Haruka knew that she didn't lose the fight. No, she didn't lose it. To be honest to herself she had to admit that she won it - together with the sea green haired beauty. Because without Michiru she wouldn't have been that fast at all. She wouldn't have had the power to keep swimming - even with her hurting shoulder. Without her she wouldn't have had the will to carry on.

So she went through the dirty street while the rain still poured down on her. Her shoes were wet, too, and her feet were very cold.

_Still I didn't finish the math homework._

And she knew that she wouldn't find any time during the rest of the weekend, too. She wanted to ask in different shops for work and if she found one there wouldn't be any time left to learn. Haruka sighed deeply and wondered if she'd ask Michiru before class to copy it.

_Surely, she'll look disappoint but she'll give it to me at least._

A thin smile appeared on Haruka's face as she thought of how Michiru had insisted to learn Japanese culture with her when she hadn't had enough time to make the last homework. She had been allowed to copy it, but after school Michiru had taken her to a small restaurant and they had learned half of the afternoon while they drank a hot tea and ate pancakes.

_She paid the food._

Haruka sighed deeply. It was at the end of November and she wanted to give Michiru something for Christmas. But she simply didn't have the money to buy anything.

_Hope she doesn't think that I am misusing her, because she's always the one paying the bills._

On the other side Michiru was always the one who grabbed her sleeve and pulled her into the next café and declared that she was hungry and that she felt guilty when she ate all alone. Therefore, she simply ordered something to eat and Haruka had to eat at least half of it.

Sometimes these meals were the only meals Haruka ate for days.

_When I go to the mall tomorrow I'll get some money._

The smile on Haruka's face broke.

_But it will never be enough to invite her instead._

"Hey, small one. Do you want a little bit fun?" asked suddenly a high voice next to her. Haruka raised her head and looked directly into a pale face. The young woman used too much make up and she was obviously freezing. With hungry eyes she looked at the roll in Haruka's hands and tried to smile. But she failed. Her skirt was too short and she didn't wear any tights. Her jacket was wide open and Haruka could see the breast right through the red shirt. It was too thin, too.

"It's raining and so it'll be a little bit cheaper for you this night." Smiled the freezing young woman and her blond hair which used to be black when she was younger fell wet on her shoulders. Maybe she was only 20 or even younger, but the look in her dark eyes was so much older. Empty. Lost.

_Just like me..._

Haruka swallowed hard. She knew what the young woman did on this dirty street in the back of Tokyo.

"No." Whispered Haruka and held the empty bag tighter. She wanted to go on but the look in dark eyes held her back. "Why don't you go home? It's past midnight and I am sure that no one will visit you tonight."

The young woman sighed deeply and searched in her jacket for cigarettes. Haruka only shook her head as she offered her one.

"Don't think wrong of me, lad. It's not that I want to do this forever." She lit her cigarette and inhaled the smoke. Haruka blinked but didn't cough. She was used to cigarettes. Her mother had smoked all of her life and after her father went away it got worse and worse. But still the bitter scent made the tall girl feeling very sick.

_Of course, no one wants to do this forever. Everyone tries to escape this bloody life._

"My little boy is very sick and the doctors told me that the operation will be very expensive." Told her the young woman and lit another cigarette after she threw the last one half burned in a puddle.

_Everyone has one's own personal reason._

Haruka sighed and nodded slightly.

"And you're sure that you don't want to..."

A sad smile appeared on Haruka's face as she shook determinedly her head.

"No." She wrapped her arms before her freezing body and the soft clothes stretched over her chest. The other woman's dark eyes grew wide as she saw the breasts under the old, worn out pullover.

"Oh, don't worry. I've already done it with women and so..."

"How old are you?" asked Haruka and looked for some seconds at her half eaten roll. She was still very hungry but she knew that the other woman was hungry, too.

_Guess she saves all her money for her little boy._

"Nineteen." Answered the young woman and lit yet a third cigarette. The smoke flew through the cold night and the dense rain fell down on them without mercy.

_Nineteen._

Haruka swallowed hard and stroked some strands of blond hair out of her face.

_Will I end like her when I am nineteen?_

She knew that the woman before her earned in one night much more than she was able to earn in a week - even if she worked the whole day in a pizza palace or carried thousands of pamphlets. But Haruka knew that the price the young woman paid for the money was very high. Too high. Rude men didn't only destroy her body part by part. Night after night. They also destroyed her soul. Not many of them survived until they were thirty. And when they were older than thirty and couldn't find another job or had finished their education they were mostly lost. Because no one wanted an old woman when a nineteen year old girl stood just around the corner.

Haruka swallowed hard.

_No one would ever wantsomeone like me..._

"My little boy is eight months now." Declared the woman and threw away the third cigarettes. Quickly, she looked at the package but decided to keep the rest for later. "He's really cute and I love him a lot."

"Then I wish you and your son luck." Haruka took a deep breath and gave the young mother the half of her roll. She saw how dark eyes grew wide again and the young woman didn't know how to react. "Close your jacket, it's cold now. And go to your little boy. It's raining and you won't achieve anything by getting ill." Haruka smiled a sad smile and saw tears in dark eyes. "Take care of yourself."

With those words Haruka turned around and walked away. First slowly until she speeded up. Just two seconds later she ran. As if something evil hunted her. Or someone.

"Arigato..." whispered the young woman and stared thoughtfully at the roll in her hands. She had seen the same pain in dark green eyes and knew what it meant for the tall girl to share her food with a total stranger.

"I wish you luck, too. Guess we all need it."

dbdbdb

The rain got harder and colder with every minute. Steam formed before her mouth and Haruka shivered even more. She decided to left the dirty streets and to go instead over the normal streets around the outer parts. That would take her a longer to get to her room, but the lamp lights were switched on and suddenly she felt safer in their orange light.

Here lived normal people. Hard working people with small houses. Most of them had one or two children and lead the normal life. A happy life. Mostly. Some cars stood in the drives and suddenly Haruka wished that she could go into one of those houses. That she could call such a house her own. It didn't need be as big and luxurious as Michiru's uncle's house. But those houses looked comfortable and cute. Here and there she saw a sign on the fences that showed big and small dogs.

_Hercules..._

"Ran-chan!" A girl with long blond hair ran through the garden. Her white night dress was quickly wet, but she didn't care about it. She only saw the small puppy jumping with a high whimper into her arms. At that moment the door was pushed open and a concerned looking woman appeared in its the frame.

"Mina-chan. Come in, it's raining."

"But mommy, he's surely frightening of all that rain."

"But Mina-chan..." the woman sighed, but the smile on her face was tender. "Okay, then bring your doggy in, too."

The girl with the long blond hair cheered, then she grabbed the doggy tighter and ten seconds later she had already disappeared into the house. Haruka could see how the mother embraced her daughter tenderly before the door closed behind them.

_I wish my mother had been so concerned about me..._

Haruka sighed deeply and lowered her head. Then she carried on on her way. Her shoulder started again to hurt and she took a deep breath. Slowly, the houses passed by and soon she walked along the huge walls of the cemetery. Each part of Tokyo had its own cemetery, because many people lived in Tokyo. And many people died each year.

The tall girl tried to creep deeper in her pullover, but the cloth was wet and cold, too. She wasn't afraid of ghosts and zombies from the movies. She knew that they wouldn't leave the graves and try to attack her. Why should they? No one of the living wanted her. Why should the dead want her?

_They would all faint to see me as a vampire._

Haruka grinned at that thought and remembered all the silly thrillers she had once watched at the cinema. She remembered too well how loud Yakoto had always screamed when another hand crept out of a fresh grave.

"Please, can anyone open the door?"

Haruka froze in motion as she heard the so well known voice. It sounded like a sob. A desperate sob. Someone pulled hard on the iron gate that was always closed at night. It could be dangerous to be on the cemetery in the dark. Not because of monsters, but because of the gravestones. You could easily run against one and some of them were so old that there was the danger that they simply overturned and then there was no one to help the victims buried beneath them.

The tall girl raised her head from her wet shoes and gasped for breath as she saw the person standing next to the iron portal. She only wore a light blue night dress. It was wet all over, just like sea green hair. Naked feet stood in deep puddles and the legs were dirty. The face was almost white while deep blue eyes watched the darkness behind the iron gate in despair. Two hands had grabbed solid bars and tried to pull them apart - in vain.

"Michiru?" asked Haruka shocked and the next moment she stood right besides the smaller girl. Her bag landed somewhere on the without her noticing it.

"They're in there. But they don't wanna let me in!" sobbed Michiru and pulled again harder at the bars.

"Who?" asked Haruka and saw how the sea beauty trembled.

_She must be very cold._

Haruka frowned.

_Did she walk all the way from her house to this cemetery? Why?_

But the tall girl knew the answer by Michiru's next, very silent spoken words.

"My parents."

Michiru pulled again on the bars and shook the whole portal. But the lock was stable. She couldn't open it.

"My parents are there..." sobbed the smaller pupil and lowered her head. Wet strands of sea green hair fell over her shoulders and her body trembled even more.

"Michi..." Haruka sighed deeply and embraced her from behind. To hold her tight. To hinder her from running suddenly away. "They aren't here, Michi. They aren't even buried here." Haruka knew little about her best friend's parents, but she knew that they had been too famous to be buried at such a small cemetery. Surely, they had a big grave on a cemetery where a lot of famous people rested in peace.

"They are. They must be!" cried Michiru and grabbed the iron bars even harder. Her hands were white and as Haruka touched them she felt how icy they were.

"No, Michi. They aren't here." Whispered Haruka and tried with soft violence to get her away from the gate. But Michiru held the bars desperately tight and her whole body trembled.

"Let's go home, Michi. You're freezing like hell and I don't want you to get ill." Said Haruka and carefully remove one of Michiru's hands from the iron that was even colder than the rain that poured down on them. It didn't look as if it would stop raining within the next hour.

"Home? I have no home any more." Sobbed the smaller girl and shook her head. Suddenly, her hand grabbed Haruka's as if it were her only lifeline. With her right foot she kicked against the iron. It seemed to be too solid for her naked feet, but Michiru didn't even notice the cold metal. She simply kicked the closed gate until Haruka pulled her away from it - and closer to herself.

_Hell, she's so cold!_

"You have one, Michi. With your uncle and Hime-chan. Surely, they're concerned about you."

"No, they aren't. No one ever cared about my feelings. Not even my parents when they left me." Sobbed Michiru and tried again to get to the gate, but Haruka held her determinedly tight.

_No on ever understood my feelings!_

"Hime-chan loves you, you know that. She would be very sad to see you ill." Whispered Haruka and tried to warm Michiru. But it was senseless. She was almost as cold as the smaller girl. Her clothes were as wet as hers. "Your parents didn't want to left you. It was an accident."

"No, it wasn't!" Michiru's scream shouted through the night like thunder after lightening. "It was suicide!"

_It was a cowardly reaction of two stupid people. Of two really frightened parents._

"Nani?" Haruka frowned and held the smaller girl tighter as Michiru reeled slightly. Of course she had heard all the news, too. Her classmates talked a lot about this topic - especially after Michiru had joined their lessons. She had seen all the articles in the newspapers. About the tragic accident. That the street had been too slippery and the road too bending. That the brakes hadn't worked properly and that the famous piano player and his wife hadn't had a chance to control it any longer.

"My father had cancer." Sobbed Michiru and held Haruka's hand tighter. It hurt, but the tall girl didn't say a word "He had only one year to live - at the most. My mother and he got to know the results on that day when the _accident_ happened. He did a therapy before but it didn't work." Michiru lowered her head and hot tears ran over cold cheeks. "So they decided to die together. The brakes worked, but they didn't use them. They simply drove over the cliff and died..." Michiru's voice was nothing more than a high whimper. "All evening I waited impatiently at home for them. But they didn't return. The only one who rang the bell was a police man. A bloody police man who held his cap in his hands and looked so guilty and sad up to me..." Michiru shook her head and Haruka held her tighter. "They simply left and didn't say goodbye. Each night in my nightmares I try to reach them. I run after them and try to say goodbye. To tell them how much I love them for one last time. But they simply won't stop. They only speed up until they crash down with their car. And all I can do is to stand on the cliff and to look down on... on the burning wrack knowing... knowing that I am... am all alone... alone now..." sobbed Michiru and cried even more.

Haruka swallowed hard. She knew that she was the first one whom Michiru told the whole story. The truth about her parent's death. And she suspected that she'd be the only one.

"Hush, Michi..." whispered the tall girl and rocked her gently. Michiru got heavier in her hurting arms and so they went on their knees. They knelt in a puddle, but it didn't matter any longer. They were already wet all over.

"You aren't alone. You've got me." Haruka's voice was nothing more than a shaky whisper.

_If you want me._

At that moment Michiru raised her head and deep blue eyes looked desperately into shimmering dark green ones.

_Does she really mean it?_

Again Michiru saw the picture of a laughing fourteen year old girl. Heard again Mila's warning words and Yakoto's sad ones in her mind. But they all were washed away by another wave of sorrow and pain. More tears ran over pale cheeks and Michiru pressed herself against the warm body next to her and cried openly. Her loud sobs filled the silent night. There was no one who saw them kneeling in front of the cemetery's entry. Only the rain was there. Falling down without mercy. Cold and hard. Like tiny stones.

"Let's take you back to your uncle's house, Michi." Said Haruka after a long time when the small girl started to trembled more and more in her hurting arms.

"But..."

"We'll visit your parents' grave later. When it's day and when it doesn't rain. Then you can say goodbye."

Michiru leaned her head against Haruka's shoulder and closed her suddenly tired eyes.

"We?" she asked with such a hopeless voice that made almost Haruka's heart break.

"Hai, _we_ will go there. I promise." Haruka raised her head and stroked over wet sea green hair. She hardly made any promises, because she held them - with all consequences.

Then she stripped her pullover and pulled it over Michiru's head. It was wet, too, but the small girl trembled so much that Haruka simply wanted to give her anything to dress over her night dress.

"But you're..."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll survive. My uniform is warmer than your nightie." Haruka helped Michiru up and a shocked expression appeared on a pale face as the smaller girl looked down on her naked feet. As if she would realized just now where she was. And how.

"I am very stupid..." whispered Michiru and winced as Haruka carefully embraced her to make sure that she wouldn't fall until they were home. It was still a long way and the tall girl hoped that they would get to the huge house quite quickly. She only wanted to put Michiru in a warm tub and in a dry bed afterwards.

Quickly, dark green eyes looked into teary blue ones. Haruka was reminded of all the time she had spent in fear, was reminded of all the nights she woke up, screaming in silence. Again, she saw all those cruel nightmares that were haunting her down too often.

"No, Michi-chan, you aren't stupid." She whispered and held her tighter as the smaller girl started to reel. "You're simply hurt."

Deep blue eyes grew wide.

dbdbdb

It was dark in the huge house. No one seemed to miss her. No one seemed to notice that she simply ran out of the door into the dark night. Into the dense rain until her feet wouldn't carry her any longer.

"There's always a key under the doormat." Whispered Michiru and Haruka helped her upstairs to her room some seconds later. She switched on the lights and let Michiru sit down on a huge bed that was big enough for an entire family to sleep in.

_They're really rich._

Haruka swallowed hard as she entered the bathroom and turned on the shower to heat up the water. She had asked Michiru before they returned if she wanted to take a bath or a shower. The smaller girl decided for a shower.

Quickly, Haruka searched for towels and put them on a chair next to the cabin.

_They're really rich. This is only Michiru's private bathroom and she has a tub that's more a swimming pool than a tub. And she has two washbasins and one shower._

Haruka sighed slightly and walked again over to the bedroom.

_She has a better bathroom than we have on the entire storey. For about 20 people..._

"Do you want anything else?" asked Haruka and watched how Michiru rose from the bed. She was holding a dry night dress in her arms and a blue bathrobe. Quickly, the smaller girl raised her head and observed her best friend. The tall girl was as wet as she was. Small puddles formed under the wet shoes and blond strands pasted on in a pale face.

_I can't let her go home like that._

"Do you want something warm to drink?" asked Haruka and suddenly clenched her fists.

_I can't leave her like that._

"Hai. A warm tea would be nice. The kitchen is downstairs the first door to the right." Whispered Michiru before she finally went into the bathroom and closed the door silently behind her. Haruka took a deep breath, but then she explored the huge house until she found the kitchen. Ten minutes and two broken cups later Haruka returned to Michiru's room. The cups still steamed in her hands as she put them carefully down on the table next to the huge bed. There were paintings on the walls. One showed an endless ocean. Only one dolphin swam in the deep water. Or another picture showed a setting sun behind white clouds. Haruka could almost feel the wind blowing through the wide sky.

_Did she draw them? She's very talented._

There was an easel standing next to the huge window. A white cloth covered it. Haruka was very curious to see what the sea beauty had drawn, but she knew that she wasn't allowed to look at it.

_You're a guest. Don't forget that!_

The door opened and Michiru came over. She now wore another night dress. It was black and showed her female outlines. Her hair was now dry again and she had put them together in her neck. Some strands fell over her shoulders and her cheeks were now redden.

_She looks so beautiful._

Haruka swallowed hard and felt suddenly very out of place in this fine room. The carpet was soft and white. Her shoes were wet and dirty. She left puddles wherever she went. And her uniform...

"Do you also want to take a shower? You must be cold, too." Whispered Michiru and took the cup in her hands. A thin smile appeared on her face. "Arigato for the tea." She drank some gulps and sat down at the table. Haruka hesitated, then she shrugged her shoulders.

_After all, she invited me to take a shower. With warm water._

The tall girl shivered and sighed deeply. She didn't want to think that she had to get into her wet uniform again afterwards and that she had to go into the dense rain again to get to her small room.

"I broke two cups." Haruka blushed and went slowly over to the bathroom.

"Don't worry." Michiru put some sugar in her tea and leaned back in the chair. "We have enough cups." She smiled as the door was silently closed.

_I have so much of this material stuff._

Michiru's smile broke as she looked into her dark tea. She sighed deeply.

_But that what really matters is missing..._

The warm water fell on her still trembling body, but slowly she relaxed. Hot steam filled the cabin and she closed her eyes. She held the shampoo in her hands and smiled as she smelled the familiar scent.

_It's so wonderfully warm._

Haruka sighed deeply and leaned against the tiles to enjoy the water running down her back.

_I wish I could stay here forever._

But she knew she couldn't. She would get into her wet uniform again, drink her warm tea and go to her small room at the other end of the city. To get up early the next day to ask for the job in the fast food restaurant.

_As long as I don't have to cook._

But she could sell the food. And certainly she could wash the dishes. Or clean the floor and the tables.

"Ruka?"

She winced in surprise as the cabin door was slowly opened. Michiru stood there. Again tears were running down her pale cheeks.

"Nani?" Haruka crossed her arms before her chest with a clumsy motion and the shampoo bottle fell on the ground. But she didn't dare to move to pick it up.

"Here's a warm towel and pyjamas. They belong to my uncle and maybe they're a little bit too long, but they're better than my night dresses." Michiru blushed slightly and lowered her head after she had stared for several moments at Haruka's naked body. At wet hair pasting in a deeply blushed face. Into askingly looking green eyes. At well formed breasts that were bigger than Michiru had imagined under the cut shirt. At a slim body. A very slim body. Probably Haruka didn't eat enough. Or did she do too much sport?

There was a bandage around Haruka's right shoulder but Michiru didn't notice. All she stared at were dark green eyes that shone so mysteriously.

_Why does she hide her body behind that narrow uniform and that old pullover? It's beautiful._

Michiru stared now at her naked feet on the white carpet beneath that covered all of her rooms - even her bathroom.

_She's beautiful..._

"I don't know if... if you have anything to do tomorrow and maybe... maybe you want to go home... home now..." sobbed the sea green haired girl quietly and the towel escaped her trembling hands. It landed somewhere on the wet ground of the shower, but still Haruka didn't dare to move.

_What home?_

"I am still... still afraid of those bloody night... nightmares and I don't want to concern my uncle nor... Himme-chan." Michiru swallowed hard and suddenly her whole body trembled again. Like it had done in front of the cemetery. "Would... would you please stay tonight?" The last sentence was nothing more than a whisper but Haruka understood it too well.

_Nani?_

"You're my only... my only real friend I can trust... trust completely and I..." Michiru shook her head and went on her knees in front of the cabin. She covered her burning face with her icy hands and started desperately to sob.

_A friend..._

Haruka swallowed hard. Then she bowed and picked up the towel. She wrapped it around her suddenly freezing body and stepped out of the shower. Slowly, she went down next to Michiru, always caring that she didn't lose the towel she was wearing.

_Only a friend..._

"Don't worry." She whispered and stroked thoughtfully through sea green hair. "If you want me to stay, I'll stay."

dbdbdb

The bed was so wonderfully soft. So soft she had never experienced before. The blanket was thick and for the first time she could remember this autumn she didn't freeze. The sun was shinning through her window but she didn't want to open her eyes to let the nice dream go she just had. A nice dream about a beautiful girl who had called her her best friend. Who had searched for comfort and had given her so much more in return. Who made her a bento each day. Who helped her to learn English vocabulary and complicated math formulas. Who invited her into restaurants when she was hungry. Who made her break her record time at the swimming pool. Who made her laugh so many times. Who looked at her with eyes full of friendship and trust. Who simply was there every time this bloody life was going to be more than she could stand.

_Please, God, don't let me wake up again._

Haruka sighed slightly and stretched her arms. She knew that this nice dream wouldn't last. Not for her. No one ever wanted her - so why should that beauty ever want her?

The tall girl winced as she felt how two warm arms wrapped around her waist and someone held her tenderly tight. A warm body was pressed against hers and she heard how someone mumbled some not definable words. They sounded like "Just five more minutes, mommy."

Haruka opened her eyes a bit and stared in disbelieve at Michiru who slept deep and tight. A smile was on her face and some sea green strands fell in her face. Haruka couldn't resist and raised one hand to stroke them carefully away.

_She should smile more often._

But Haruka knew that it was hard to smile when you faced hell. Or even worse.

_Her parents committed suicide..._

The tall girl swallowed hard as she remembered how Michiru started again to cry. How she had hold her tightly for a long time and after the sea green beauty calmed down they sat on the bed and talked about it. Michiru told her the whole truth about her father's illness, about the accident and about her nightmares. How hard everything had been since that evening.

_She wanted to jump..._

Haruka swallowed hard as she remembered how Michiru told her with that sad look in her eyes that she hadn't wanted to live anymore. That she wanted to jump off that bridge that very night they met for the first time. That it was Haruka who held her back. First with her bag and later on with her warm embrace and with her comforting words.

The tall girl had been shocked when she heard those words and told her not to do such a silly thing again. Michiru only laughed sadly, but her laughter died away when Haruka told her that she couldn't leave her best friend just like that. After those words she nodded seriously.

"Don't leave me..." whispered Haruka silently. She knew that Michiru couldn't hear her. And she knew that Michiru wouldn't stay forever with her. One day she would overcome her pain, meet a nice boy who understood her music, was good at school and could give her a great future. But until that day - and even if it were tomorrow - Haruka wanted to be her best friend. Just for this short time. To dream of a better life she would never be able to live.

Before Haruka's thoughts could spin around any faster the door was pushed open and just two seconds later a small girl jumped into the bed. Her shoulder long black hair was messed and her pyjamas crumbled. A big smile was on her face as she embraced Haruka and now the tall girl had one girl at each side.

"Morning, Ruka." Yawned Hotaru and crept deeper to the warm body next to her and her smile grew wider as she felt how the tall girl covered her small body with a soft blanket.

"I wish it would always be such a nice Saturday morning." Whispered the small girl and giggled happily. "I've had such a nice dream, Ruka. That you would live here, too, and that you would play with me all day. With my cards and with my puppy."

"Puppy?" asked Haruka and smiled as she imagined herself to sit on the carpet with the little girl and to play cards - and of course to let Hotaru win.

"I am annoying my daddy to buy me one." Yawned Hotaru and settled slowly deeper into sleep again. "Love you, Ruka." She whispered and her tiny hand grabbed for a taller one and held it weakly tight.

Haruka swallowed hard.

_Wish you were my family_.

Carefully, she squeezed the two girls in her arms for some seconds.

_Wish this were my home._

Haruka closed her eyes and sighed slightly.

_I love you, too._

dbdbdb

"Daddy made breakfast!" Hotaru speeded through the kitchen and looked firstly on the set table, then into the microwave oven to find her warm milk, and into the oven to see the baked rolls. "But he's not here." Suddenly, she looked disappointed, but smiled and jumped into Haruka's arms. It had been past noon before they finally stood up and still they were wearing their night clothes under their bathrobes.

"He's at work." Read Michiru and sat down. Haruka followed her, but it was a little bit harder for her to sit down with the small girl grabbing her sleeves excitedly.

"Do you want milk or orange juice?" asked Hotaru and reached over the table to get the bottles. Michiru frowned, but then she smiled helplessly. She simply couldn't be angry with the little girl.

_When did I have my last proper breakfast?_

"Orange juice." Answered Haruka and swallowed. She blushed slightly as her stomach started to rumble and the next moment she held a roll in her hand. Hotaru had made it and soon Haruka's hand was full with honey. But that didn't matter. It tasted delicious and the tall girl was sure that it was the best roll she had ever tasted in her entire life.

"Auntie Michi promised me to help me draw a cute picture. Do you wanna help me, too?" Big dark eyes looked innocently pleading up to her.

"You don't have to..." said Michiru as she saw the concern in Haruka's face and stood up to get herself a coffee. She was still extremely tired and felt exhausted. Normally, she didn't drink coffee. But normally she didn't cry all night.

_I've told her everything in my pain. Was it right?_

Michiru took the coffee and turned around to see how Haruka fed Hime-chan with orange slices she had just peeled.

"Of course I want to see your great pictures." Whispered the tall girl and smiled lovingly down at the little girl on her lap. Hotaru clapped excitedly in her hands and opened her mouth to get another orange slice.

_Strange. Normally, they're too sour and..._

Michiru grinned as she saw that Haruka dipped them into the honey before the slices went right into a wide opened mouth.

At that moment the sea green haired girl knew that it had been the right decision.

dbdbdb

"Ruka?"

It was already dusk and Haruka decided to go. Some of the shops she wanted to go to this weekend had just opened and she hoped to get a job. And she wasn't sure what to do if it got any later.

_This night I won't have a reason to sleep next to her..._

Haruka turned around as she heard her best friend's voice. Now the uniform she wore was clean and her shoes were dry and warm again.

"Hai?"

Hotaru was already in bed. The day had been exciting with drawing pictures and playing hide and seek. Of course the little girl won. After they shared a huge pizza Hotaru fell asleep on Haruka's lap and so they decided to take her to her small bed. Still Dr. Tomoe wasn't home yet.

"This is for you." Michiru blushed slightly and before Haruka could react she felt the warm cloth put over her old pullover.

"Nani?" Startled green eyes looked down at a warm jacket. A dark coloured leather jacket. It had soft lining in it and it seemed to have been made for her.

_This must have been expensive!_

"But..."

Michiru smiled and took suddenly icy hands carefully in her own to hold them carefully tight.

"You're always freezing and I can't see other people freeze." She giggled and squeezed those hands gently. "Don't make such a face as if I just declared to you that Hotaru would cook tomorrow."

Now Haruka had to smile, too. The little girl had been very busy to set the table in the evening and almost let their pizza fall down when they wanted to put it into the oven.

"She's a lovely little devil." Whispered the tall girl.

"Hai she is." Replied the smaller one.

Both looked for a long time into each other's eyes. Then Michiru let go of Haruka and stroked softly though blonde strands to fix them. Hotaru did a good job to mess them up.

"Arigato." Haruka turned around and opened the door to leave the house. To go to some restaurants and ask for a job. And then to go to her small room to lay down on her cold, empty bed. To remember a fantastic day.

Haruka froze in motion and turned around to look into teary blue eyes as she heard the soft voice behind her.

"Friends don't need to say arigato."

dbdbdb


	4. Chapter 3: As fast as the wind

**Chapter three: As fast as the wind**

Wild wind played with her hair and her clothes. It was cold but that didn't matter.

_I want to be as wild as you._

She spreat her arms. She knew she stood on a cliff high above the endless sea. However, she wasn't afraid. She wouldn't fall off. Not because of the wind, for it was her friend.

_I want to be as strong as you._

Her hands reached out for something only she could see and held it desperately tight, but it escaped and all that remained was emptiness. In her mind. In her heart. In her soul.

_I want to be as independent as you._

She sighed deeply and a sad smile formed on her almost blue lips as she took a deep breath. Tasting the salt on her lips. Hearing the rushes of the waves crashing on the beach far beneath her.

_I want to be as fast as you._

Nothing else existed in her world. Only the wind and the music on her mind. Music she had listened to all night. She had found the small cassette in one of her new jacket's pocket and the soft melody had touched her deeply.

She spreat her arms wider as if she wanted to spreat her wings to fly away.

_I want to be as loved as you._

The shot destroyed her world and let her stumble back. She wrapped her arms around her waist and took another deep breath. It was shakier than the first one.

As she opened her dark green eyes again they were filled with sparkling tears.

dbdbdb

"Masanori is soooooo cute!"

"Hai. And he's the fasted boy of our school."

"And he's the captain of our basketball team."

"He has so nicely dark eyes."

"And his brown hair."

"Ohhh..."

The girls sighed excitedly around her and Michiru had to giggle, too. She stood there with some of her class's girls and with other girls she knew from the school's cafeteria. They all stood behind a fence and looked down into the arena to watch the sports clubs doing their very best to get prepared for the important games that would take part in about two weeks.

_Then I'll have my big concert, too._

The orchestra did have very long and very hard rehearsals each day. From late afternoon almost until dust. However, today they had off because the conductor had to take part at an important meeting for teachers. Therefore, the girls decided to watch the sport clubs practicing. They did their jobs quite well - even without their coaches today.

"They say that he doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Oh..."

Michiru giggled again. But she didn't see that Masanori guy. All she saw was a tall girl chasing after a small dog that had escaped its owner and decided to steal Haruka's towel.

_She looks so cute when she's angry._

Michiru giggled again as another girl tried to help Haruka. But it was in vain. Grey Elza couldn't reach the both of them. She tried very hard, but it was impossible to keep up with the tall girl. Especially when she was determined to save her towel.

_She's almost as fast as the wind._

Haruka caught the dog with a careful gesture and held it gently tightly while the doggy barked angrily. Its owner, a small girl of maybe nine years, bowed as she took her raging doggy and left quickly the arena. Haruka sighed deeply and held up her towel. It was torn to pieces. Seeing the look on the blonde's face, Elza burst out into peals of laughter.

_Michiru shook her head and giggled even more._

"He's the dream of a man, isn't he, Michiru?" asked Yakoto and blushed deeply as she pointed over to Masanori who jogged around the arena to get warm.

Michiru nodded, only seeing her Ruka holding the towel over her head like a banner. Elza tried to catch it but as always Haruka was too quick for her.

"Hai..." answered Michiru with a dreamy look in her deep blue eyes.

_She is._

dbdbdb

_It's getting colder with every day._

Michiru wrapped her arms around her waist and shivered as she entered her school's huge gymnasium. You only had to cross the schoolyard to reach it and since the door was opened she tried to find some shelter and her best friend there. Of course they didn't meet any longer under the tree. The grass was wet and in the mornings often frozen over; and the ground was simply too cold to sit down. However, Haruka hadn't told her where she could meet her. Therefore, Michiru decided to search for her on her own.

_And I am getting more and more tired._

The sea green haired girl yawned and held the violin case tighter in her hands. All afternoon she had practised with the rest of the orchestra and because the conductor knew her CDs, too, he asked her to play one of her songs for them. Michiru had brooded during the entire rehearsal about a fitting song and when the afternoon was over she had agreed to the nice offer. The conductor had seemed to be very happy and of course all the girls had wanted to know what she'd play, but she didn't tell him nor them.

_The song isn't completed yet._

But Michiru knew that it was only a matter of time. She couldn't sleep very well the last night and every time she looked at the blank sheet she saw a sleeping Haruka lying next to her. Having her arms wrapped around a little girl who smiled happily in her innocent child's dreams. Slowly, a song had evolved in her head and each time she read the few lines she had already written down yet she liked it more.

"Ruka?"

She saw Haruka sitting on top of a mountain of mats. Blonde strands hang in a pale face and dark green eyes looked thoughtfully out of the window beside her. She leaned against the cold wall and was only wearing her training suit and cut shorts that showed her naked legs. However, they were quite wide, so that they wouldn't hinder her when she run. They also seemed to hide her female outlines perfectly. For some seconds Michiru looked at her and knew why a lot of people confused her with a boy - without being so blind at all.

_She's a real tomboy._

Michiru chewed on her lower lip while she put her violin case and her schoolbag down - without looking away from the tall girl.

_But she isn't as independent and as rude as the other pupils may think._

Slowly, Michiru walked over to the mountain, but still the other girl didn't look away from the cloudy sky.

_She needs a friend, too. _

"Hi, Ruka." Michiru smiled into a surprised face as Haruka finally turned around. "I've been looking for you." The smaller girl did a short jump and landed next to her on the soft underground. Automatically, Haruka held her arm softly tight to hinder Michru from falling back on the ground. "Isn't the training over now?"

Haruka nodded in silence and looked at her with a strange expression on her face.

_What's wrong?_

Michiru frowned. Then she cheered up.

"Did you run again? Did you beat them all again?" she smiled but Haruka didn't smile back. Again the only thing she did was nodding.

_And Masanori told everyone that he wants you to be his girlfriend - and whenever he wants a girl he gets her..._

"See, you aren't in the mood to talk." Michiru sighed and laid down on the mat and laid her head in Haruka's lap. She yawned widely and looked tiredly up into startled looking dark green eyes. "The rehearsal was exhausting. I had to play over three hours and I guess I have a hand cramp now." Michiru giggled and closed her eyes. She smiled as she felt how cold hands stroked carefully through her sea green strands.

"Couldn't you sleep last night?" whispered Haruka and simply kept stroking.

_Her hair feel so soft. Like velvet..._

"Not really..." Whispered Michiru and her smile grew wider. Here she felt safe and secure. In Haruka's near she could forget her fears and all her nightmares and simply sleep. Here she could even dream nice dreams of a life she missed so much.

"Another nightmare?" asked Haruka and sighed slightly. She wanted to embrace the smaller girl again. To hold her tight. To feel the happiness she had felt the last weekend when she woke up right beside her. Although she knew that this happiness was wrong, she wanted to experience that nice feeling again. Every weekend. Every morning she would wake up in the future...

"Just a small one." Michiru yawned again and her right hand grabbed for Haruka's to hold it close to her chest. She leaned her head against the tall girl's stomach and made herself home on the soft underground. "And I had an idea for a song." She smiled and slowly drifted into sleep. Haruka let her be. She only had to deliver some more papers this evening and it was alike if she would do that the next hour or in the middle of the night. But it was not alike to her when Michiru was getting ill because she didn't sleep enough.

"I..." Haruka sighed deeply and squeezed the hand tenderly. For a long time she watched the smaller girl sleep and didn't dare do move. To wake her up. To let her go again. "Sleep tight, Michi-chan."

She didn't see the shadow standing near the wall on the other side of the gymnasium.

dbdbdb

"He wasn't called Robin." Michiru's giggle filled the huge living room. Big windows overlooked a big garden. The trees didn't have any leaves and looked grey. Like ghosts. There was a small house for birds in the middle of the still green meadow. Some birds flew around it and ate fruits they couldn't find in the late autumn's nature any longer.

"No?" Haruka frowned, but she couldn't remember his name. Therefore, she turned around and searched in her schoolbag for her folder. It was messy; a lot of single sheets that weren't in any order.

"Don't cheat!" laughed Michiru next to the tall girl on the couch and shut the folder. "His name was Romeo." Now Michiru couldn't resist any more. She burst into a peals of laughter.

"But I'd like Robin a lot more." Mumbled Haruka and opened her folder again to search for the page that showed her the names of all the characters in Shakespeare's greatest work.

"The story is called _Romeo and Juliet_, so why should Romeo be a Robin? He's not a bird, anyway." Michiru calmed herself down and reached over to the table to take her orange juice. Haruka's one was still untouched.

"Arg!" sighed Haruka while she turned one page after another. "The whole story's terrible and I don't see why I should learn those stupid names by heart."

"Because it is world literature and everyone who goes to school should have heard of Shakespeare." Michiru drank some gulps and looked at the mess on Haruka's lap. It wasn't that the tall girl didn't have a nice handwriting; she simply wasn't able to keep any order. Michiru could see some sheets of Japanese grammar and geography, too, although the teacher had told them to take an extra folder just for English literature.

_Didn't she listen to the teacher's words at all?_

Michiru sighed and drank another gulp. Coming week they would write a big test about Shakespeare and it was necessary for Haruka to get a good result to improve her grades.

_How shall I tell her everything about _Romeo and Juliet_ in just a week?_

"The story isn't terrible. It is one of the most romantic love stories of English literature." Michiru took her spoon and played with the ice in her juice.

"Love story, pah!" Haruka shook her head and turned another page, slowly giving up that she would ever find what she was looking for. "They simply kill each other in the end. That's not what I'd call love!"

_So she did listen. Well, at least in the end._

Michiru shook her head a bit and looked down at the opened folder on her lap. It was in a good order and she numbered the pages and made a table of contents to find everything in a shorter time.

"They didn't have another chance." She whispered, suddenly thinking of her parents.

_They didn't have another chance, too._

"Shakespeare is such a stupid so called author! _Romeo and Juliet_ didn't love each other - otherwise they would have fought for their love. Then they would have run away and started a new life somewhere else. But they had been afraid of loosing their wealth and their good name so they stayed there and Romeo killed himself without looking after Juliet. Surely she was alive - but he was too proud to even try to live without her!" Haruka's green eyes sparkled angrily and Michiru was suddenly sure that she wasn't talking about the tragic heroes from the 16th century any longer.

"It is not very easy to live somewhere else. Especially in their time. Their parents were very influential..."

"... and rich. Money is all that counts and so they didn't give their love a chance."

"... and concerned. Didn't you once think of their parents? They regarded about the other family to be an enemy and they didn't want to hurt their children."

"Oh, believe me, if parents would love their children they would accept their new partner - no matter who he or she is." Answered Haruka and turned another page, just to look very frustrated when she found the homework of biology she had searched yesterday for almost the entire lesson - just to get a copy from Michiru shortly before they had to give it to their teacher.

"But if you would have introduced your mother to someone's son she hates the father? How would she have reacted?"

Haruka frowned at her best friend's words and held the homework for some seconds thoughtfully in her hands.

_She would have laughed at me and asked me when I had become normal again._

"She wouldn't be shocked." She declared simply and put the homework away to search for the other pages and for the names.

_She can't be shocked any longer, because she won't ever get to know whom I'll live with. She isn't interested in me any longer._

Haruka sighed silently and asked herself when she drew the picture of a small moon in an endless sky. Surely in astronomy, although they had never talked about the moon.

_If I'll ever find someone who wants to live with me..._

"Really?" Michiru frowned and tried to remember her parents. With every day something vanished from her mind. Still she could remember their faces and their voices. However, their scents, the feelings of their arms being wrapped around her vanished with every hour more and more and suddenly she was afraid to lose all of her memories.

"Guess my parents would have been very concerned about me. That my partner would hurt me, because the father was rude."

"Would they have forced you to marry a strange guy you don't like at all?"

"No..." Michiru leaned back and drank some more gulps. Thoughtfully, she looked at her spoon. "Guess you're right, but we live here and now. Shakespeare wrote it almost 400 years ago and then the situation was another one. We can't change his stories nor can we change the test next Monday. So let's learn."

Michiru smiled as she heard Haruka's helpless groan. The taller girl turned again some pages, still not finding the name list.

"Is it right what the others say about you?" asked Michiru with a sudden and was surprised that she really found the courage to ask her best friend. Again she saw a raging Mila before her eyes, heard her rude words in her ears. Michiru had to smile as she remembered an angry Hotaru splashing the schoolgirl with her coke.

"Huh?" asked Haruka and thought more of her French vocabulary and tried to remember what all the strange looking words meant than she had listened to Michiru's question.

"Is it right what Mila says?" Michiru took a deep breath and held her orange juice a little bit tighter. "Are you a lesbian?"

Haruka decided that she had to learn all that vocabulary again as she heard the quiet voice next to her. She needed some seconds before she realized the question's meaning.

"Nani?" Haruka startled and her dark green eyes looked in confusion into deep blue ones, mysterious blue ones.

"Are you a lesbian?" repeated Michiru her words and was suddenly unsure if it had been a good idea to ask her best friend, because Haruka didn't seem to look happy.

_Did I hurt her with my curiosity?_

But Michiru knew that she had to ask - one day. And today wasn't any worse than other days.

_Does she really want an answer?_

Haruka raised one eyebrow, then she turned again to her folder and put her French vocabulary aside. Behind that page she finally found the name list, but now it wasn't important any longer.

"I don't know." She whispered and held the page tighter in her suddenly trembling hands. "Well, Mila is right, I don't like boys." Haruka shrugged her shoulders. "But I don't like those girls, too. I don't like anyone of them."

_Except you._

But she didn't dare it to say aloud.

"I can understand you." Michiru put her orange juice away and sat nearer to Haruka who looked determinedly down on her written words. "I don't like Mila either."

Haruka looked finally up when she felt a warm hand over her cold one. Again she stared into deep blue eyes that reminded her of the wide, wild sea. A deep lake she could drown in - but wouldn't die, because there was someone taking care of her.

Michiru smiled and automatically Haruka blushed slightly.

"Ruka..." The smaller girl wanted to say something when the door was pushed open and Hotaru speeded through the living room and jumped right into Haruka's arms. The folder fell on the soft carpet and now the sheets were a complete.

"Ruka!" screamed the little girl and hugged her happily. "Daddy and I bought ice cream!" she shouted and her big dark eyes looked trustfully up into a blushed face. A loving expression appeared on Haruka's face as she took the purple cap from Hotaru's messed hairs.

_I wish she would look at me with that expression in her eyes, too._

Michiru sighed slightly. Then she leaned over to her niece to free her from her gloves. It was getting colder with every day and Michiru was very happy that she had given the thick jacket to Haruka.

_She doesn't seem to have other winter clothes._

Michiru was determined to change this.

"Hello, Michiru." Dr. Tomoe entered the room. He carried two huge, white plastic buckets that were surely filled with delicious ice cream. "Actually, I wanted to buy some fruits but they turned out to be chocolate ice cream after I fetched my daughter up from the kindergarten."

Michiru giggled as she rose from the couch and embraced her uncle quickly.

"Hello, uncle Tarô." She said and turned again around to her babbling niece. Hotaru already started to tell Haruka everything about the adventures she had experienced today - and that she didn't feel ill at all.

"Ruka? May I introduce? He's Tomoe Tarô, my uncle. Uncle Tarô, she's Tenô Haruka, my best friend." Introduced Michiru and Haruka blushed even more. She wanted to stand up and to bow before the tall man, but Hotaru was too heavy in her arms and her shoulder started again to hurt.

"Oh, keep sitting, Haruka. May I call you Haruka?" The tall girl shook the strong hand and nodded. "My daughter's a real tomboy and I don't want her to tear you apart because you might let go." Laughed the doctor and stroked lovingly over dark hair.

_I don't want to let her ever go._

The doctor took the buckets again in his hands and was about to go to the kitchen, as he turned around and looked thoughtfully at Haruka. It seemed to be a test and she wasn't sure if she would pass.

"So you are my daughter's hero." He laughed. "Taru-chan told us a lot about you."

"Really?" nervously Haruka coughed.

"Hai, she can talk a lot if she wants to."

"No, daddy. Don't laugh at me."

"But you are a small devil."

"Oh!" The little girl jumped from Haruka's lap and tried to chase her father through the whole living room. He ran around the table, still holding the ice cream in his hands. Hotaru tried to follow him. "You'll regret this, daddy!" she screamed, but had to laugh, too.

Michiru giggled and sat down again next to Haruka who looked at the entire scene in disbelieve.

_My father never teased me around. So lovingly..._

"Welcome to the madhouse, Ruka." Again she took the icy hand and held it tenderly tight. "Do you want a chocolate ice cream? Guess we've got plenty of it now."

Haruka only nodded and watched in silence how Dr. Tomoe pretended to get slower and slower until Hotaru reached him. Then he took his daughter into his strong arms and swirled her around. Hotaru laughed loudly in great joy and spreat her arms. Love was written all over her face. Love and trust.

dbdbdb

"Guess that wasn't the best decision in my life." Groaned Haruka and looked down at the dresses she carried to the changing cabin. Michiru told her to get a smaller seize and therefore she had searched for about ten minutes until a nice saleswoman helped her.

"Michiru?" Haruka looked desperately at about ten closed cabins and couldn't remember in which one her best friend was in. A hand came out behind the curtain and the next moment Haruka was pulled into one of the cabins.

"At last! I already wanted to call the police and wanted them to search for you. Did someone kidnap you in the meantime?" asked Michiru and giggled as she saw Haruka's depressed expression. "Did you get it in a smaller seize?" She grabbed the dress and looked at the sign. Then she nodded and stripped her pullover. Haruka blushed and turned around to leave the cabin, but Michiru held her back.

"Hey, someone has to help me with the zipper." She declared and stripped her pants. They landed somewhere on the ground while she pulled the dress over her head.

"And why should I be your victim?" asked Haruka and crossed her arms before her chest.

"Because you're such a nice person who can't leave people in need. Especially not such weak, helpless women like me." She giggled and turned towards the mirror. Then she raised her hands and held her hair in the air. "Can you help me?"

Haruka blushed even more, but then she stepped nearer and closed the zipper.

_You aren't weak, Michi._

She swallowed hard as her hands touched soft skin.

"Hey!" giggled Michiru and jumped a little bit away. "You've got cold hands! Don't you have any gloves?" she shivered, but then she forgot those cold hands and stared into the mirror. Sceptically.

_You're so beautiful..._

Haruka looked at the narrow dress Michiru was wearing. It was a summer dress and it was light blue. It fitted perfectly to her eyes. And it showed all her female outlines.

_I want to embrace her. To hold her tight. To..._

Haruka shook her head and stepped a little bit back. She clenched her fists and pushed her hands deeply into her jacket's pocket.

"Don't you like it?" asked Michiru as she saw her best friend's reaction. "Maybe it isn't the right colour or I should better look for something shorter..." Michiru lowered her gaze and looked at the cloth that covered her feet.

"No." Whispered Haruka who could suddenly imagine a laughing Michiru running along the beach. Splashing around with water and being happy about a sunny day.

_I wish I were the person being with her on that beach._

"It is wonderful."

_You are wonderful._

"Well, if you think so." Michiru looked at the sign again and smiled in satisfaction. "I guess I should take it. It's cheap, because it's almost winter and it fits." The smaller girl counted all the prices of the clothes lying on the chair next to Haruka and the blonde groaned as she heard a sum even higher than her monthly rent. She had worked hard during the last week, but still she didn't have enough money to pay it. About fifty percent were still missing, but she didn't have time for another week to earn it.

_Shall I...?_

Haruka clenched her fists tighter. She wouldn't ask Michiru for help - especially not for money. She was happy to be her friend, but she didn't want to misuse their friendship, because she didn't know if and how she could pay back the money one day.

"Then would you please fetch up Hotaru? I'll pay all this stuff and meet you in the children's corner." Michiru stripped the dress and before Haruka had to blush even more she stepped out of the cabin.

"Hai." she shouted back and left quickly the changing room - ignoring some old women staring curiously at her.

After Michiru had paid her clothes, she carried all the bags to the children's corner. There were some small chairs around a TV set and they showed an old Disney film she once had seen. About a hero with a flying horse who tried his best to become a god and to be together with his parents again. Hotaru sat on Haruka's lap and stared with big eyes at the screen.

"Shall we go now?" asked Michiru and made a face as she saw how Hotaru clang on Haruka and it didn't seem as if the small girl wanted to walk. "Tomoe Hotaru!" said Michiru, but the little girl behaved as if she hadn't heard her. She looked at everything but her auntie. Haruka only smiled and held the little girl tighter in her arms. Ignoring the pain flashing through her shoulder. Feeling soft arms being wrapped around her neck.

"You don't have to carry her. She's five years old and old enough to walk by herself."

"Don't worry, Michi." Haruka walked slowly next to her and grinned as she saw all the bags. "I guess Himme-chan is lighter than all your clothes." Michiru only made a face as they left the boutique. Cold wind blew through their hair and immediately Haruka started to freeze. She was grateful to have the nice, warm leather jacket. She didn't have any other clothes than her uniform and her training suit and she simply didn't have enough money to buy herself such an expensive jacket.

_Without it I would have been cold a lot the past days._

"Stop, Ruka. Hime-chan doesn't wear her cap." Said Michiru and put down her bags. Then she reached into Hotaru's pockets and took the cap and soft gloves out and helped Hotaru into them.

"'gato, auntie Michi." Hotaru laughed happily and pointed up to the grey sky above. "I hope it'll be snowing soon. I like snow." She declared and made an important face. "And it..."

_Hope it won't snow_.

Haruka looked up to the sky, as well. It got harder for her to deliver different pamphlets at night when it got slippery and colder. Then she needed more and more time and didn't have enough sleep. Then she wasn't concentrated at school and made a lot of stupid mistakes.

_Then I am not good enough to win that silly race in about a week._

Haruka winced as suddenly a cap was pulled over her head, too. Askingly, green eyes looked into a smiling face. Michiru looked critically at the dark cap and loved how the blonde strands hang over Haruka's ears and into her forehead under it.

"When we have to wear such a terrible thing every winter you have to join us." Declared the smaller girl and put two dark gloves into the leather jacket's pockets.

"But..." Haruka frowned while Hotaru babbled happily about the snow and how she liked it to have a snowball battle with her daddy and Michiru.

_I can't take all those gifts. She's only known me for a couple weeks now and all this stuff is too expensive._

"Don't worry. I bought half of the boutique's clothes and Hime-chan got nice pyjamas. Only you didn't get anything. That sounded too unfair for me." Michiru smiled and simply put her right index finger over Haruka's mouth as the blonde wanted to protest. Both froze in motion and none of them listened anymore to Hotaru's babbling. They didn't notice the people hurrying by. They only saw each other.

"What a _happy_ family." The rude voice interrupted their thoughts. Haruka winced again while Michiru lowered her hand. Then she turned around and stared at Mila and Susan. Both stood at the boutique's entrance and held some bags in their hands, too.

"Didn't know that you got a child. I always thought women aren't able to..."

"Nice to meet you, Mila." Smiled Michiru and walked over to her and shook her hand. "Hope your uniform is clean and dry again." Slightly Michiru bowed and shook Susan's hand, too. "And how are you doing, Susan? Did you practice your piano play? You know the great concert will be this Sunday and tomorrow there'll be another rehearsal."

"Hai..." groaned Susan and forgot totally why she stood here with her best friend Mila. "Guess that'll take all afternoon."

"And when we'll finally have finished, Sakarusa-san won't be satisfied with us."

"But we are good."

"Of course we're good. But he wants us to be better."

"Hai..."

"Susan!"

They both turned around to a deeply blushed Mila who looked shocked at them. "I thought we're here to tell them what we think..."

"I know that you like my violin play. Thank you so much for your praise."

"But did you forgot what we told you about that girl there?" Mila pointed directly at Haruka and the tall girl raised surprised her eyebrows as Hotaru showed her cheekily her tongue.

"Hai. I know that Ruka is a very good athlete and still I am sorry that Hotaru dirtied your uniform. It wasn't purpose. She's just a little girl."

Hotaru showed again her tongue and smiled innocently up to Susan who had to giggle a little bit.

"But she's a lesbian! She will hurt..." screamed Mila suddenly very angrily, but was interrupted by Michiru who only touched her right arm calmingly and looked at her with pity in her deep blue eyes.

"Don't worry. She already told me that she doesn't like the girls in our class. So she won't take away the cute beauties from you who you admire so much." Michiru smiled a wide smile and Susan burst out into laughter as Mila turned into a deeper shade of red.

"That's..." she stammered breathlessly, but had to see that she couldn't really argue with the rich girl.

"That's nothing to be shamed about, Mila." Michiru patted her cheek and turned around to take her bags again. "It was nice to meet you, but we've got other things to do." she declared with the sweetest smile she could smile.

"Hai, eating a chocolate ice cream." Declared Hotaru and made an important face.

"You see, my niece has other plans. So, see you at school tomorrow." With one hand Michiru held her bags, with the other one she took Haruka's free hand and held it softly tight. They could hear how Mila exploded next to a laughing Susan as they simply walked away.

dbdbdb

"Here're the chocolate ice creams." The waiter bowed slightly and put the huge sundae before Haruka. They were covered with fruits and wiped cream. Surely, very sweet cream. A coloured stick was inserted in each one.

"Look at the fish!" shouted a little girl and laughed happily as a young woman took her into her arms and held her up have a better look at the golden animals.

"Your daughter is really cute." Said the waiter and changed the burned down candle and lit a new one. "You and your wife must be really happy." Before Haruka could react had the waiter already turned around and went over to his other guests.

_My daughter?_

Haruka swallowed hard and watched how Hotaru wanted to catch a fish. However, she only wetted her sleeves and Michiru was suddenly very busy to get her niece down to the ground again. It looked as if Hotaru wanted to jump into the aquarium and surely Michiru didn't want to spend the next hour in the bathroom to change wet clothes.

_My wife?_

Haruka watched how Michiru stroked some strands of her long, sea green hair on her back and smiled lovingly down at the small girl. Carefully, she pulled a handkerchief out of her pockets and dried wet hands.

_My family?_

Haruka swallowed hard and suddenly tears burned in her dark green eyes as she lowered her head to stare into her ice cream.

_I wish they were my family._

"Chocolate ice cream!" Hotaru jumped on her chair and started to eat with great appetite. Michiru drank some gulps of her hot milk and wondered why her best friend suddenly looked so depressed.

"Ruka?" she asked and looked into teary green eyes as the blonde raised her head. "What's wrong?" her voice was so understanding, so tenderly that Haruka wanted to tell her the truth. About her life. About her financial situation. About her family.

_But she didn't. She couldn't._

"Gomen nasai!" Suddenly a girl stood next to the table and bowed deeply. Two long, blond plaids almost hung into chocolate ice cream and Michiru was suddenly very busy to get her milk out of danger.

"Nani?" Haruka turned in surprise towards the girl who bowed even deeper.

"Gomen nasai. I never wanted to crash into you, push you against the wall or let you lose all your school books..." She raised her head and Haruka looked into a well known face. A face she saw almost every morning when she went to school. "... but it's so hard to get up early in the morning and then I am late and in a hurry and I don't want to be punished by the teachers and I don't watch out and then... then I run into people... mostly into you..." suddenly tears sparkled in light blue eyes and she bowed again. "I hope I didn't hurt you, but Mina-chan's always in a hurry, too, and she's a good girl and so we only try to get to our class in time and..."

"Hello, I am Kaioh Michiru." Said Michiru and rose from her chair. She quickly looked at the waiter and only a few seconds later the girl sat on their table, as well. She was maybe thirteen years old and more and more tears run down her redden cheeks.

"'gato." She whispered as Michiru handled her a handkerchief. "My name is Tsukino Usagi and I am not mean or so. I want to be friend with all people I know and it isn't the manner of a friend to overran someone."

_Friend?_

Haruka frowned and remembered a sunny day during last summer. It had been hot outside and the girl called Usagi wanted to go to the ice cream shop outside the school. A tall boy tried to steal her money and pushed her aside. She fell down and hurt her right leg. Her best friend, another girl with long blond hair, wanted to help her but he simply slapped her into the face so that she fell down, too. Haruka who had been very angry that day about her teachers used him for a reason of getting rid of the anger and the hate inside her soul. Therefore, she took away the money and soon they fought. Haruka could remember too well how mad her mother had been when she came home - dirty and bloodstained all over. With torn pants and a wild look on her face - and a teacher's letter in her hands. She had been punished very hard by the teachers, but she was allowed to stay. Nevertheless, the boy was kicked from school and now all girls - especially Mila - thought that Haruka wasn't only a tomboy, wild and hated by all people - but that she also liked it to beat boys she even hardly knew.

_Friend?_

Haruka could remember how Usagi screamed loudly at the boy and cried a lot when the fight was over. Again she saw blue eyes filled with tears when she gave her the money back and stumbled towards the school to receive her punishment.

_Friend?_  
Haruka swallowed hard and again she saw those tears. Silently, she wondered if that was enough for the smaller girl that she saw a friend in her.

"Oh, Ruka's used to be overrun time by time." giggled Michiru and pointed at Hotaru who ate her chocolate ice cream with passion and smiled happily at the blonde girl who looked back with slightly greedy eyes.

"Do you want an ice cream, too?" asked Michiru and was relieved when the tears finally stopped and a friendly smile appeared on a now happy shinning face. Then it broke.

"But I wasted all my pocket money on this scarf..." she said, but used the chance nonetheless to show her red scarf around.

"Don't worry, Usagi. It'd like to invite you."

"Well, then I'd like such a delicious looking one, too." Usagi looked pleadingly at the sea green haired girl with her big blue eyes and cheered up when Michiru nodded.

"Okay."

"And you're also too late in the morning. Are you a late riser, too?" asked Usagi after the waiter brought her the promised ice cream and ate with almost the same appetite as Hotaru. Soon her mouth was brown, too, and she swung the spoon through the air. Soon there were brown spots all over the tablecloth. But no one seemed to notice them.

"Hai." answered Haruka honestly and wondered why Usagi shared the table with her - a total freak. No one at school wanted to be near her - except Michiru.

"Usagi! I've searched you for over an hour now! You're such a baka! Running away without a word and then I have to carry your bags, too!" Suddenly, a black haired girl appeared next to the blond girl who looked very depressed the next moment.

"I told you that I saw someone I wanted to talk to, but..."

"Simply running away, are you really so stupid?" screamed the black haired girl and touched the two plaids carefully is if she wanted to look if the smaller one still had her brain.

"... but you didn't listen to me!"

"Of course I didn't. I've talked to Makoto and you shouldn't interrupt people."

"But I didn't want to wait for another year until you're ready!"

"You're such a baka!"

Now Usagi started again to cry and the black haired girl took a deep breath.

"You're so mean to me, Rei!" sobbed Usagi and the girl named Rei looked suddenly very guilty.

"Hey, Usagi-chan, it's okay. I... we were just very concerned." Rei blinked as she saw the chocolate ice cream standing in front of the blond girl. "Where did you get this from? I know you wasted your money on that bloody scarf. It is ugly and..."

"It isn't. You only have no taste. Mina-chan has the same scarf and..." Usagi sobbed even louder and Haruka looked surprised at the both of them. Then she shook her head as they both showed each other their tongues and burst into laughter.

_I love it to see her laugh._

Michiru giggled and looked around. She could see three other girls standing shyly by the entrance door. One with blue hair shook her head as the waiter wanted them to get in for the fifth time. A tall girl with one brown plait tried to hold back a smaller one with open blond hair. It seemed as if the smaller one wanted to come over to them - there was a sparkle in light blue eyes as she saw the chocolate ice cream.

"We invited her." Said Michiru and rose again from her chair. "Hello, Rei. I am Kaioh Michiru and these are my cousin Tomoe Hotaru and my best friend Tenô Haruka." She said and shook the dark haired girl's hand.

"Hino Rei." Whispered the girl and shook her head. "The world's unfair, Usagi. Why don't I have such big luck? Why is it always you being invited to a delicious chocolate ice cream?" she sighed deeply and looked suddenly very tired and sad.

"Do you want one, too?" asked Michiru and giggled even more as suddenly three girls stood right behind the black haired girl. They obviously tried to hide behind Rei but failed miserably. Michiru could hear the blonde mumble that they all wanted one and the blue haired girl only blushed and groaned that they were all embarrassing.

Only two minutes later they all sat around the table and looked happily down at their own sundaes. Talking about their school day. About a life of preparing to be a priestess one day. A famous pop star. A doctor. An excellent cook. A mother and bride.

"That's a boring wish, baka!" declared Rei and again Usagi showed her her tongue.

"Why should it be stupid? I'd like to have a nice boyfriend one day and marry him. Then I want to have a daughter."

"Who wants to have such a stupid girl like you? And please, no daughter, we wouldn't survive two of you."

Again tongue showing.

"You're only jealous, Rei. Because I'll be a much more fantastic bride than you'll ever be!"

More tongue showing.

"What do you want to become one day?" asked the blue haired girl named Ami. She corrected her glasses and smiled friendly at the two girls who had invited them.

"I wanna be a sister!" shouted Hotaru and tried to get the rest of the chocolate ice cream from the ground of her sundae.

"A nurse?" asked Makoto and frowned as she saw the sad expression on Michiru's face.

"No, a sister. One day when I am nice my daddy told me my mother will come back and then I'll have a little sister." Hotaru grinned and took the spoon into her brown mouth.

"And where's your mother?" The blonde, Minako, didn't see Michiru's warning gestures.

"In heaven. That's somewhere above." Smiled Hotaru and looked greedily at Haruka's sundae. The tall girl still had some ice cream and soon she ate the rest of her best friend's chocolate ice cream.

"Oh..." Ami looked shocked.

"Baka!"  
"You're only jealous!"

"Jerk!"

"You...!"

Again showing their tongues.

Ami sighed deeply and shrugged her shoulders. Michiru smiled back.

"And what do you want to become?"

Michiru shortly looked over to Haruka then back again to the blue haired girl.

_Ruka's best friend forever._

But she didn't dare to say it aloud. Because after her parents had left her so suddenly she knew how fast life could change. She didn't know if Haruka would be her friend forever. She didn't even know if she would be her friend the coming week. All she could do was to hope.

"A great musician and artist. I like to draw and I can play the violin." Answered Michiru and giggled as Rei tried to steal Usagi's ice cream right at the moment when Usagi stole hers. So every girl held the other one's sundae in her hands and the arguing continued.

"Baka!"

"You devil!"

"You've stolen my ice cream!"

"Don't worry, you're too fat and..."

"Oh! Rei!"

They rose from their chairs and chased each other around the table. Hotaru watched them with big eyes while the other girls giggled.

"Don't worry." Said Makoto to Haruka and smiled friendly. "They're always like that. But to be honest they like each other a lot - they only show it in a different way." Usagi stumbled and the ice cream landed on Rei's skirt who stared at it in disbelieve. At that moment Makoto burst out into peals of laughter and seized herself on Haruka's and Ami's arms to prevent from falling off her chair.

_They don't seem to be affected by my appearance. By the way I am._

Haruka swallowed hard as she looked into different laughing faces. Minako came over to a crying Usagi and helped her up while Makoto let go of Haruka and Ami and tried to clean the skirt as well as possible.

_Guess that's what real friendship means..._

She watched how Rei scolded a still crying Usagi and hugged her suddenly at the next moment and they both asked for forgiveness, but showed each other their tongues just in case.

_I wish I had such friends..._

At the moment Michiru bowed forward and took carefully her hand to held it tight, and Haruka knew that she had.

dbdbdb

"Don't move!"

Hotaru looked sceptically at Haruka sitting on a chair and then down on her sketchbook again. She frowned and stared in concentration on the white paper while she used her pencil to draw.

"I didn't."

Haruka took a deep breath. Her shoulder hurt again, but she didn't want to ruin Hotaru's fun. Michiru had entered the room about two hours ago, but instead of helping her best friend she sat down and took her own sketchbook. So Haruka had sat there for now over three hours while listening to soft violin music and staring into two redden faces shortly looking up and then drawing again.

"Can't I at least get something to drink?" she asked.

"No! You're a model now and I am the artist. I don't have the time to make you a juice." Declared Hotaru determinedly and Michiru only giggled.

_A model?_

Haruka frowned sceptically. She didn't thought of as a model. Or even beautiful. She knew that she looked more like a boy than a girl and she asked herself silently for the tenth time why Hotaru wanted so badly to draw her.

"I am ready." Declared Michiru and leaned back.

"Hey! That's unfair! You came later and now you've finished earlier?" Hotaru made a depressed face and drew more quickly. Michiru giggled again and wanted to say something when the door was carefully opened.

"Hello, daddy!" shouted Hotaru and held proudly up her sketchbook. "I am drawing! But I am not ready yet. I still need some time." She turned around again and scolded Haruka for having moved.

"So Hotaru found a new victim." Smiled Dr Tomoe. But instead of shaking her hand he stroked friendly through her blond mop. It felt soft, just like the touch a father would give his daughter. Haruka stared at him with her dark eyes and didn't know what to reply.

"It's already seven in the evening. Sorry that it took me so long, but there was an emergency at the hospital." Dr. Tomoe looked over his niece's shoulder and raised his eyebrows as he saw the picture. "You're getting better with every day." He said and stroked with the same loving gesture through her hair. "Soon you'll be as good as my late sister." He said and they both smiled sadly in shared memories. Of an always cheeky sister and of a loving mother.

"Do you stay with us for dinner, uncle Tarô?" asked Michiru and put her pencil away. She had finished her sketches, but she was sure that it would take her all night to transfer the picture to her easel. In colours.

"I hope. As long as the hospital won't call me." He hugged his daughter from behind and little Hotaru complaint that an artist needed peace. But then she was convinced and jumped into his arms. She cheered as he swirled her around.

"Do you want to help me making dinner?" he asked and dark hair flew through the air as the little girl nodded excitedly.

"'ai!" she screamed and laughed happily as he tickled her softly.

"Do you want to join us, Haruka?"

The tall girl sighed in relieve as she was allowed to leave the chair and nodded shyly. Dr Tomoe nodded and disappeared with his daughter in the kitchen. On the corridor they started to sing a song and their voices, a low father's and a high daughter's voice, could be heard all over the huge house.

"Everything alright?" asked Michiru as she saw for a brief moment pain flashing through a suddenly pale face.

"Hai." answered Haruka and tried to ignore her hurting shoulder. She came over to her best friend and looked shocked at the sketch. It was perfect. And it revealed so much Haruka had never wanted to show.

"Do you like it?"

Haruka swallowed hard as she heard the soft voice next to her. Still she stared at herself on the white paper. She was drawn with a fine pencil and there were no colours in the picture. But a lot of shadows. She was flying through the air. The cliff was high above her, the clear water beneath. Her eyes were closed and there was a smile on her face. It wasn't a deadly fall. It was just a floating through the air. Wild wind played with her messed blonde hair and the white dress she was wearing. Almost she could hear the rushes of the waves.

"Hai..."

Haruka shook slightly her head as she saw how the wind supported her. How it stopped her fall and let her be part of itself. The flying Haruka on the picture had wings. Two white wings with soft feathers all over. Angels wings...

dbdbdb

It was in the middle of the night when she returned home. She was tired, but she didn't freeze. A soft scarf, two thick gloves and a dark cap kept her warm besides her leather jacket. She was exhausted, but she wasn't hungry. Michiru had shared her bento with her in the late afternoon after the training and the rehearsals had been over. After that Haruka had asked for a new part time job and really got it. Only for two weeks to see if she did her job well, but it was enough money to pay the rent.

Now it was past midnight and she simply wanted to go to bed. She didn't have enough strength anymore to learn the stupid names of _Romeo and Juliet_ nor could she concentrate anymore on her math homework.

_Hope Michi will give me the solutions tomorrow._

Haruka yawned and frowned as she saw a letter in her mailbox. Normally, she got no letters. Who should write her? No one knew her address. No one wanted to know it.

_Strange..._

Haruka yawned again as she tore it open. It was a crumbled paper. She didn't know the handwriting. It looked a little bit like a girl's handwriting, but there were older boys at school who had such a correct handwriting, too.

The tall girl sighed deeply as she read the few lines. She ignored all the bad names they called her again. She was used to them. She rubbed her tired eyes as she slowly walked through the dirty corridor. Of course half of the lamps were broken, but there was still enough light to read another name. A name she got to know too well during the past weeks.

Kaioh Michiru.

Slowly, she realized that the person who wrote the letter wanted her to stop seeing and talking to Michiru. That he or she thought that she wasn't the right person to be Michiru's best friend. That Michiru would soon realize her big mistake and that it was better for Haruka to leave her in peace.

_They're all so silly!_

Haruka took a deep breath and simply threw the threat letter in the dirt.

_I won't leave her - as long as she still wants me._

This night Haruka woke up more than once to look if her door was still locked. The letter wasn't important and that someone tried to threat her wasn't very new. But it was the first time that someone found out where she really lived.

dbdbdb

"Uncle Tarô and Hime-chan went to the cinema this evening and so I thought we could do something together." Explained Michiru as she stepped next to an obviously tired Haruka. The tall girl stood at their entrance door just the way they had agreed on this morning at school.

"I wanted to show you something." She said and frowned. "Or do you prefer to sleep instead? That would be also okay. You can use the couch while I watch TV. They want to bring a nice concert from a famous conductor. I could call a pizza for us."

Haruka smiled and shook her head.

"No, it's okay. Whatever you want to show me, I want to see it." It warmed her heart to hear how concerned her best friend was and it sounded tempting to lay down on the couch next to the sea beauty. To eat some pizza slices and to sleep some hours until she had to go home. Tomorrow was Friday, another hard day at school. But today was her day off and she wanted to spend it with her best friend - and not with lying lazily around and sleeping.

Michiru smiled happily and took her violin case.

"Is there another rehearsal at school?" asked Haruka and blushed slightly as Michiru simply took her hand and pulled her with her towards the bus station. Ten minutes later they sat in the bus and went into the inner city of Tokyo.

"No. I wrote a new song and wanted to show it to you."

"In Tokyo city?" again Haruka frowned but tried to be patient while Michiru told her about her niece. How Hotaru had finished her picture and started to colour it. Haruka looked more like a fat cat on the picture, but the little girl wanted to give it to her on Christmas.

"When Hime-chan drew it I'll like it." Grinned Haruka and chewed on her lower lip as Michiru looked out of the window to see all the lights of the big city sparkling at night.

_Christmas... I wish I could give her something, too._

Haruka sighed silently and rubbed her tired eyes. She didn't want to think that far. Still Christmas was three weeks away. But she couldn't ignore the feeling of panic inside her chest. The feeling of being alone at that special evening when no one should be all alone.

_I wish I had the courage to ask her if I can come over for Christmas._

But she didn't dare to ask. To say a word. Because Christmas was a very personal holiday. A holiday only for the family. And Haruka wasn't part of Michiru's family. Even if she wanted so badly to be.

"We're here!" interrupted Michiru her thoughts and took again her hand and pulled her out of the bus. She simply ignored the curious looks of some people staring at them. Thinking of them as a couple. As freaks. Quickly she greeted a girl with long red hair who looked a little bit like an older Yakoto. The girl greeted back before she kissed her girlfriend again.

"Nani?" Haruka frowned. She'd never been in that region of Tokyo and she didn't know the restaurant Michiru was heading towards. Before she could react a waiter took away her jacket, gloves, scarf and cap and showed them their table.

"Where are we?" she whispered after Michiru glanced quickly into the card and ordered two teas and helpings of noodles.

"Here they often play live music." Michiru's blue eyes sparkled.

"And you want to play here? In front of all those people?"

"Hai, because this is a smaller audience. They're more honest about the songs. And they already know me." Smiled Michiru and Haruka remembered suddenly that the smaller girl had already published some CDs and had stood on different big stages - partly alone, partly together with her famous parents.

Again Haruka felt a little bit stupid that she wasn't able to play anything more than some scales on the piano. Their teas were served by a guy with long dark hair. He wore white pants and _We're the Devils_ was written all over his dark shirt.

"Hello, Kaioh-san." He welcomed her and bowed deeply.

"Hello, Takada-san." Michiru smiled and helped him to put down the hot drinks. "I thought you wanted to play your drums today and not to play the waiter."

"I'd never leave my drums!" he smiled back. "I only needed a reason to come to your table and..." he grinned when he saw her violin case. "... to ask you to play with us. Satoshi is still ill and so we have no fiddler." Now his dark eyes looked pleadingly down at her and she giggled.

"Okay, but there's one condition?"

"And that is?"

"I want to play and sing one song I've written lately." She showed him a sheet of paper and briefly he studied her notes. His feet patted the underground and he nodded to the rhythm of the music. "It's full of anger... and has a good rhythm..." he whispered and nodded again. "No problem, Kaioh-san. It will be an honour for us." He smiled again at Michiru and looked quickly into Haruka's face. Saw the deep jealousy in dark green eyes. The next moment he stood next to the surprised tall girl and shook her hand.

"Hello, I am Takada-san, drummer and sometimes even the singer of _The Devils_. Don't worry, I won't steal your girlfriend. Otherwise, someone else would surely kill me." He grinned and bowed before her.

"Hello. Tenô Haruka." Answered Haruka and frowned. But before she could say anything else the young man had walked over to the stage and disappeared out of sight.

"You play rock music?" asked Haruka in surprise and remembered the soft classic music she listened to each time she was at Dr Tomoe's house.

"I play every music. If it fits to my feeling I'd even play country." She giggled and opened her violin case. "Just enjoy your dinner. I'll ate mine later." Quickly, she messed Haruka's hair with a soft touch, then she took her violin and followed the young man.

"Rock music." Haruka shook her head, but she had to admit that she was very curious what Michiru would play. And what the song would be about.

Their dinner's came and Haruka realized that she was again very hungry. This day the training had been very hard and her shoulder hurt more and more. Then Michiru had been busy to fetch up her niece from the kindergarten and they simply didn't have enough time to eat Michiru's bento.

_Hope she isn't hungry now._

Haruka ate half of her noodles and drank her tea as the curtain opened. She put her fork away and leaned back. And stared over to the stage. She heard drums in the background and a electrical guitar playing in the same rhythm. Then she heard the soft noises of the violin. Soon they became louder and angrier. Haruka could feel the anger and the pain in those tones. Again she saw the crying Michiru on the bridge, in the girl's bathroom at school and only dressed in her night dress in a rainy night right before the gates of a closed cemetery.

Again Haruka saw him coming in her room in the middle of the night and taking his belt to punish her for being a bad, little girl. Again she saw her puppy lying lifelessly on the dirty ground. Again she saw her mother pointing at her with her father's gun.

Suddenly Haruka knew what the song would be about. And she knew that it was Michiru's only way to accept and to live with the terrible truth. To feel the anger, the pain, the fear again in her music. Banning it into notes and playing it out loud to the world. To scream it out with her violin and to be recovered afterwards.

_Let the music cry and you will be able to laugh afterwards.._

Haruka swallowed hard and clenched her fists in her lap.

_I wish I had such a big talent._

Michiru stepped between the two guitar players and shortly smiled at them. Then her face got serious again. There was a tiny micro on the top of her dark evening dress. A silver locket sparkled around her neck. Sea green strands fell over her shoulders and Haruka stared at her with a dreamy expression on her face.

_I know that she's beautiful. But today she's a goddess..._

The tall girl sighed deeply as she heard again Takada-san's words in her ears.

_Girlfriend..._

Michiru played her violin as if it were the easiest thing she'd ever done. Her fingers flew over the instrument. Then she raised her head and simply started to sing in a high but clear voice:

_"Hey now little baby girl_

_There is no one else but you_

_No one to comfort your soul_

_Hey now little baby girl_

_No more puppet on a string_

_You have to walk on your own now"_

There was anger in her voice and she closed her eyes as her fingers kept stroking the strings. Again and again as if the violin were her only friend in a cold world. She was the little baby girl and she had to walk on her own now. Without her parents. Without her mother. Without her father. There was nothing there any longer to comfort her soul. There was no one else left than her.

_This song is just as lonely as she had been when I met her in the subway. Before I comforted her on the bridge. Before we became so good friends._

Haruka swallowed hard but before she could react Michiru already started again to sing.

_"Right now look inside_

_You'll see a brand-new day_

_You have to look for your way_

_Good look it's up to you_

_The future's in your hands_

_The dream is gone now you have to run _

_You better not wait for tomorrow_

_Cause tomorrow starts today_

_No more dreams and no more sorrow_

_Now you're on your own way"_

_Just like my mother. She didn't want me and so I had to go. To make my own way._

Haruka sighed and suddenly tears burned in her eyes. Her right shoulder hurt and she didn't want to think of what might have happened hadn't met the sea beauty standing over there on the stage, playing her violin again while drums and guitars accompanied her.

_She's my only friend._

Michiru suddenly opened her eyes and her voice got more and more angrier. Now it didn't sound any longer as calm as those parents who were pushing their children away. Now it sounded like a small child asking for forgiveness. For happiness. For love.

_"See I don't really want to go_

_I wish you luck, I wish you well_

_I'm afraid I go out there on my own_

_I wish you luck I wish you well_

_Now I have a feeling I won't be alone_

_Cause it's all about this little girl after all"_

_My parents didn't want me. It was alike how hard I tried but they couldn't love me._

Haruka took a deep breath.

_My parents loved me. It was alike how hard I tried but I couldn't make them stay._

Michiru swallowed hard.

_"Hey now, little baby girl,_

_Don't you blow against the wind_

_One day you'll find the right words_

_And now little baby girl_

_Just listen to your heart_

_You know that yesterday fell apart"_

Michiru shook her head and a cheeky grin appeared on her pale cheeks while she played the last tones. Her last sentence was almost a scream while the other instruments stopped slowly to play.

"And by the way, don't call me baby girl, stupid" 

Michiru bowed as the audience started to clap. Some stood up and asked for more songs while Takada-san congratulated her to another great song. He said that her angry voice almost made him shiver and that the music simply fitted perfectly.

Michiru only nodded and shook absently his hand while he discussed what they should play next. She knew all their songs and she could accompany them by heart. They played some own songs, but mostly they played well-known songs. Just with another lyric and mostly with complete another meaning.

Irish songs.

Michiru raised her violin again, but still she had to stare into dark green eyes. She could see herself being reflected in shimmering tears.

dbdbdb

Slowly, she walked along the empty streets. It was late at night. Of an exciting evening. Michiru wanted her to stay. That they would fetch up her books before they'd go to school tomorrow. That she could use the guest's bedroom and sleep there. But Haruka only thanked her and went back to her room. She didn't want to show Michiru where she lived. She didn't want her sympathy.

_Once she sees how I live she won't see me with the same eyes._

Therefore she walked all the way back to her room. It was bitter cold and she knew that it was only a matter of time until it would start to snow. It was already December and even the people on TV said that this Christmas would be a white Christmas.

_Stupid Christmas!_

Haruka sighed deeply and pushed her fingers deeper into her jacket's pockets. It was so cold, even her gloves couldn't warm her. Really warm her.

_I wish I had taken a nice warm shower Michiru had offered to me._

But she knew once she would have taken the shower she would have been too tired to walk away. Still she didn't know why Michiru was so friendly to her. True, she had helped her a lot with her sadness about her parent's death. She had helped her home when she stood in the rain in front of a closed gate leading to a dark and empty cemetery. She had comforted her whenever she needed a friend. But still Haruka wasn't sure if it was normal for a good friend to invite the other one almost every day for dinner or at least at every opportunity. To buy the other one new, warm, expensive clothes. To offer her a warm shower and even a place in one's bed.

_She had been very sad when she asked me to stay that night._

Haruka sighed again deeply. She wasn't sure what she should think. Wanted Michiru really only a good friend? Or was she looking for someone else? For something more than friendship?

_Am I able to be only a good friend?_

Haruka stopped and looked up to a clear sky. Stars where sparkling, almost stepping out of a bright half moon's light. The air was fresh and the tall girl wondered if she would be able to touch the stars by only stretching her hand out to them.

_I love her._

Startled green eyes watched how a small shooting star made its way through the endless sky.

_I love her with all my heart._

The realization came so suddenly that she almost stumbled back. She wanted to deny it. To tell herself that it wasn't true. That she only wasn't used to have such a good friend, to have any friend at all. But she knew she couldn't lie to herself any longer. Her heart had known it for all those weeks. It had already known her feelings it when she had seen the sea beauty for the first time, standing on the bridge and looking down into the deep waters beneath. When she had held the sobbing girl tightly. When Michiru gave her the soft scarf - even though she had hardly known her then - the dyke. The freak no one liked at school. The lesbian they all wanted to get rid of. They all wanted to kick from their lives - except Michiru.

Haruka sighed deeply and more steam formed before her mouth as she pushed her hands deeper into the warm jacket pockets. Still her green eyes were staring at the shooting star. But she didn't see it. All she saw where deep blue eyes looking friendly up to her. Friendly, concerned, simply honest. Again she heard the song in her mind and asked herself if Michiru hadn't written it for her, as well.

_I love her._

Never before had Haruka loved someone in her life. Because no one had seemed to share her feelings. No one had seemed to seemed to return them.

_Only Hercules._

Haruka's face soften briefly as she remembered a clumsy puppy running towards her. Licking her hands, whimpering excitedly and trying to creep on her lap to be patted.

But the small doggy was dead.

_I love her._

The tall girl laid her head in her neck and spread her arms. Then she closed her eyes and felt the tears burning behind her lashes. No one had ever loved her. No one had ever wanted her. Not her classmates, not her so called friends when she returned after the summer vacation - totally changed but deep inside still the same. Not even her parents had ever wanted her. She wasn't the cute, little girl. She was too noisy and too expensive. Haruka winced as the icy wind ran through her messed hair and sighed deeply. Too well she remembered how her mother yelled at her. That it would have been better to abort her.

_That was before she pulled the trigger._

The tall girl spreat her arms wider until her right shoulder started again terribly to hurt. But she ignored the pain. She wanted so badly to spread her wings - just like on the picture Michiru had drawn only a couple of days ago. Suddenly, she felt very, very sad and alone. She knew that she loved the sea green haired girl. That she wanted to be together with her. To spend more time with her. To spend her life with her. But at the same time she knew that Michiru would never return her deep feelings. Again Haruka heard the unsure voice asking her if she were a lesbian. And how strange she had reacted to her ambiguous answer. The only answer she knew. The only answer she could tell her.

_What if I am going to lose her?_

Haruka put her arms around her trembling body with a quick motion and sobbed quietly. It had been so wonderful to awake in the morning next to the beautiful girl. To feel the warm body next to her own one. But Haruka knew that Michiru had only searched for comfort. Comfort and a good friend.

_I should be glad that she's my best friend. The only real friend I ever had._

But at that moment Haruka knew that she'd never be satisfied with that. And that it would kill her to see Michiru one day with a cute guy. To lose her one day. Really lose her.

_I am only a poor beggar; she's a rich princess..._

At that moment she heard the silent steps behind her. Haruka swirled around. Ready to defend herself against rude boys and crazy girls. Ready to run away if there were too many of them. Ready to face her destiny.

Startled green eyes looked into light blue eyes and the tall girl froze as she saw the shinning appearance floating right in front of her. Long, blond hair almost reached the ground and the white dress seemed to shimmer in the moon's light.

"Hello, Princess Uranus." She said and smiled friendly at the tall girl who stepped backwards and shook her head in disbelieve.

"I am here to show you your destiny." With those words the young woman held a golden staff in her hands. With a yellow jewel at its top. It sparkled in all colours of the rainbow.

"I am not a princess." Mumbled Haruka and quickly looked around. But they were alone in an empty street. There were no people around. No classmates playing cruel jokes on her. No crazy killers trying to get their next victims with such a stupid trick.

"Of course you are, Sailor Uranus. You're the most powerful of all senshi." Smiled the young woman and held the staff a little bit closer to Haruka who only stepped backwards again.

"And what's my destiny?" she asked, still wondering if she dreamed. If it was only an illusion caused by a tired brain and an exhausted body.

"To protect my daughter and to save the world." The voice was so soft and so innocent that Haruka wanted to believe her. That she wanted to take the staff and simply let the future happen.

_Lesbian!_

Again she heard the shrill voice in her head, again there was a shot in the air and again she winced wildly.

_Maybe Michiru would love me in return if I weren't such a freak. Maybe..._

Haruka clenched automatically her fists and her green eyes stared angrily at the still smiling appearance in front of her. Wind played with her messed hair and she looked suddenly very wild. Strong. Alone...

"Do you really want a dyke like me to save the world?" was all she asked in a dangerously quiet voice before she spun around and ran away. The wind blew with her. Supported her. Tried to carry her. But she was faster. Badly she tried to escape it - as she had tried to escape her damn life.

The young woman sighed deeply and put the golden staff again to the other one she still owned.

"At least she didn't attack me with a pillow." She whispered and tears burned in light blue eyes. She had seen the pain in the tall girl's face, had felt the despair in a lonely soul. Had suddenly known why the other wouldn't take over her destiny as Sailor Uranus - not as long as she was all alone.

The young woman smiled sadly as the shadow of a running girl vanished in the lamp lights.

"No, you aren't alone, Uranus. You'll never be alone, believe me." She nodded and remembered a girl with sea green hair taking care of the blonde. Even if the strongest senshi didn't know it yet.

"You need each other, because you can't be strong without the other one. You can't be complete." The young woman sighed deeply, then she started slowly to vanish.

"When you'll finally realize that you belong to each other you'll be ready to take care of the mission." The appearance raised her hand and it looked like a good bye vow.

"Then I'll return again."

dbdbdb

She sat on the sill, staring out into the night. A letter laid on her lap. A single, crumbled sheet of paper that reminded her that she only had half a week to pay her rent.

She didn't have enough money. Not yet. Not in half a week. Maybe never.

Slowly, she put the headphones over her ears and soon soft violin music filled her world. Kept the loud noises from the room above out of her mind. Kept away the screams still echoing in her head. Kept down the pain in her body.

The bill fell unseen on the ground as she closed her eyes. Carefully, she spreat her arms and felt the wind running through her messed hair.

_I am not part of the wind._

She sighed deeply and tears burned behind her lashes, but she wouldn't let them fall.

_I can't simply fly away._

_Because I have no wings._

A silent sob escaped her throat and she bit hard on her lower lip until she tasted blood.

_Because I am not an angel. Not at all..._

dbdbdb


	5. Chapter 4: Don't give up

**Chapter four: Don't give up**

"You don't have to do it."

Dark green eyes looked for some moments thoughtfully in deep blue ones. They were filled with tears and the smaller girl swallowed hard. She held the flowers in her arms tighter and shook her head. Bravely she smiled, but it looked so sad that Haruka had the desire to take her in her arms and to comfort her with all her love.

"No, it's okay." Whispered Michiru and swallowed again. Slowly, she opened the iron gate and took a deep breath.

Haruka nodded and followed her. To be right beside her. To hold her if she'd fall down. To comfort her if she'd start desperately to cry. To show her that she wasn't alone in this world.

It was a cold, but nice day. The sun shone from a cloudless, blue sky. The temperature had fallen and the grass was covered with white frost just like the needles of the firs which brought a little bit green to this grey place. Some birds sang happily and it was really peaceful here. You could hardly hear any cars from the street and the entire place looked as if there were someone whose job it was to take care of it. There was no waste on the ground and the plants looked healthy and strong. There was no weak firm and Haruka knew that it was a place she wouldn't be end up when she'd die.

_I am born in the dirt, I'll end in it._

She ignored her sad thoughts as they suddenly stood before a big stone. It was white and it looked older than Haruka had expected. There were more than two names written on it and Haruka frowned.

"This is the tomb of the Kaioh family." Whispered Michiru and knelt down before the stone. "Here're my grandparents buried as well as my big brother." Carefully, she laid the flowers down and searched in her pocket for matches to lit the candle she had brought with her. "They all died before I was born." She declared as she felt the asking looks of her best friend.

"Here." Haruka went next to her on her knees and held up a burning match to help her with her candle. She saw how Michiru's hands trembled as she carefully but the burning candle before the gravestone. Then she folded her hands and started silently to pray. Haruka just kept sitting next to her and watched her in silence. Saw how the tears burned behind closed eyes and how they slowly ran down pale cheeks.

Haruka took a deep breath and lowered her head to wait what would happen next. She knew that Michiru needed her time to say good bye to her parents. To accept that they were dead. That they were gone - but at the same time that they didn't leave her. As long as they were still in Michiru's heart, as long as they were still in her mind, they hand't disappear at all. In her memories they would live forever.

Michiru asked her if she'd come with her briefly before school started. She said that she'd feel ill and so they both kept away from today's lesson. One look in deep blue eyes told Haruka that Michiru wouldn't be able to listen to Shakespeare nor Japanese grammar. That there were more important things than writing a test.

Michiru opened her eyes again and freed the flowers from the wrapping paper. She had bought them on their way to the cemetery and although Haruka wasn't keen on flowers she stayed by her side the entire time while the young shop assistant wrapped them, because she feared that the sea beauty would faint.

_She's so pale today._

Carefully, Michiru put the flowers in a vase next to the candle and said another prayer. There were twenty white roses on the ground now, because today was her parent's twentieth anniversary.

_I wish I could help her._

Haruka swallowed hard as more and more tears run down a pale face. A beautiful face. A face she wanted so badly to touch.

"They've always told me not to give up." Whispered Michiru and wiped away the tears. They were replaced by new ones. "Even when daddy got more and more ill as the time passed and the doctors looked more and more helpless, my mother always told me never to give up. That there was always a meaning why everything happened and... and..." the smaller girl took a deep breath and clenched automatically her fists. ".. and that there's always a way." She lowered her head and sobbed quietly. "I don't want to give up. But... but it's so hard without them... I..." Michiru covered her face with her icy hands and sobbed. "I miss them so much...!"

Haruka looked for some moments at her best friend and she felt how her heart hurt to see her so desperate. She ignored her inner voice yelling that she shouldn't do that. That she shouldn't take care of Michiru. That she shouldn't touch her again. Because it was only a matter of time until Michriu would find someone else and then Haruka wasn't important any longer. Because she wouldn't always be there and that it would break Haruka's heart to see her one day with a cute, rich boy who could give her so much more than she'd ever be able to. Because once Haruka had held her again she would never be able to let her go.

"Hush, Michi..." whispered Haruka and took her carefully in her strong arms. The smaller girl trembled and the sobbing went through her whole body. "They wouldn't want to see you so desperate." Tenderly, she stroked through sea green strands and rocked her gently.

"I miss them!" whimpered Michiru again and held Haruka as if she were her only life line. "I try to live with the pain but... but it hurts so much!"

"It'll decrease, believe me." Haruka stroked now over pale cheeks, wiped away hot tears.

_I want to see you laughing again. You're so beautiful wen you laugh, Michi-chan._

"Sure?" Michiru raised her head and the tears sparkled in the sunlight like little diamonds.

_She's a real princess..._

"I promise." Answered Haruka and without thinking she leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. Michiru's eyes widened, then she buried her face again on Haruka's shoulder and sobbed again.

_What have you done_?

For some seconds Haruka didn't know how to react, but then she simply kept stroking sea green strands. Caressing calmingly over a shaking back.

"I want so badly to believe you..." whimpered Michiru and suddenly wrapped her arms around the tall girl's waist and held her desperately tight. "I want..."

"Be patient, Michi. It will always hurt a little bit and you'll always miss them. But one day you'll be able to live with that pain and you'll be able to laugh again."

Michiru only nodded and closed her eyes. Her tears dried and she felt suddenly safe and secure in those warm arms. She didn't say anything for a long time, only feeling the tender hands stroking through her hair, hearing the soft voice whispering comforting words.

After another long time they parted, rose and left slowly the cemetery. Michiru blew her nose and it seemed to be natural that she grabbed for Haruka's hand to hold it tight. The tall girl turned her head and saw the brave smile on her best friend's face. Suddenly, the smaller girl reminded her of a small child who lost everything that had meaning for her. Suddenly, Michiru reminded her of her own youth.

_I'll never let her be hurt again. I'll never leave her alone._

Haruka smiled back and squeezed the icy hand softly.

_As long as she wants me by her side..._

Soft wind played with the firs and it sounded like a whisper that went over the cemetery. The gate closed with a high, screeching noise and all that remained was silence. There was no human left on the cemetery. It was too early in the morning, the next visitors wouldn't come before noon.

So no one saw the couple standing before a white gravestone. Briefly glancing at the candle and adoring the white roses. The woman stroked over the blossoms and smiled tenderly up to her husband who took her hand and kissed it softly. Both turned around to look over to the gates. To see the two girls walking away.

The couple smiled loving at them, then they raised their hands and touched each other's cheek. In love. In never ending happiness. One moment later they were gone.

Because now they knew that their daughter was safe.

dbdbdb

"Aren't you hungry?" They sat in the empty class room and shared the bento Michiru made every morning before she hurried to school. Haruka had almost finished her part while Michiru had hardly touched anything.

"Not very." Admitted the smaller girl and watched the empty chairs around her. Her fellow students had gone to the cafeteria and so they were left alone.

"Nervous about your concert?" of course Haruka knew that there would be the winter's ball tomorrow evening.

_The day after there'll be the competitions._

Haruka didn't know how to win the races, but she knew she had to. Somehow.

"A bit." Michiru smiled and reached for her milk to drink some gulps.

"Don't worry, Michi. You're so good, they will adore your play."

_Will you adore it, too?_

Michiru stared at the milk bottle in her hands and sighed deeply.

"Will you be there?" she asked silently and didn't dare to look up.

"No, better not." Laughed Haruka and turned on her chair to look out to the window. It was a cloudy day and the people on the radio expected snow. "It's a ball and that means that you need someone to go there. And I have no one." She shrugged her shoulders and bit into her sandwich. "Besides who wants to go to a ball with a girl who wears a tuxedo?"

_If I had one._

Haruka shrugged again her shoulders and could see the disappointed expression on her best friend's face in the window's reflection.

_I only have this uniform to wear._

"They'd use every chance to laugh at me and I can do without them."

"I wouldn't laugh."

Haruka frowned as she heard the sad voice, but before she could react had crashed Yakoto into the room and told Michiru that the conductor wanted to see the entire orchestra for a last rehearsal. Then she hurried on and you could hear her running down the corridors, although it was forbidden to run at school.

"I have to go now." Michiru put her books into her bag and took her violin case into her suddenly trembling hands. "I don't know how long it'll take and..."

"Don't worry, there'll be a last training with the athletic team, too." Mumbled Haruka, feeling suddenly very angry. Angry about herself.

_Did she ask me out to the ball?_

But she didn't dare to say it aloud. She only saw Michiru's sad face in the window's reflection and cursed herself when the door closed silently.

dbdbdb

"Well, let's see if you're so fast when it really counts, dyke!" laughed Masanori and pushed Haruka aside who reached for her sport bag. She stumbled and went on her knees. Briefly, she raised her head and her dark green eyes sparkled. But then she lowered her head and collected the few things she owned for sport.

"You are a dyke, aren't you? And such a person really thinks she can win our school competition? Forget it, you'll never reach the country championship!" he laughed even louder and some boys and girls around him started to laugh, too.

_They won't provoke me!_

Haruka bit on her lower lip and kept searching for her towel. Until she remembered that a cute doggy ate it with passion. She didn't want to cause a fight. Not so shortly before the races. Her shoulder had hurt so much the last night that she could hardly sleep. If he'd beat her now she knew she wouldn't be able to take part at the races anymore. Then she'd lose and be kicked out of school. Therefore, she kept silent and closed very slowly and very carefully her bag.

They aren't important.

"Are you dumb now? Stupid and dumb, that's what I always said!" grinned Masanori wickedly.

_But still it hurts._

As the tall girl didn't respond anything Masanori got bored and so he turned around and left the gymnasium with his fan club.

"I am sorry." Stammered Elza and ran an unsure hand through her short, red hair. She was almost as fast as Haruka and Masanori didn't like her, too. She was too good for a girl and she often argued with him. But still she was too shy to defend Haruka, her greatest but also the best opponent she'd ever had. Haruka didn't laugh over her style when she was again slower than the tall tomboy. She even gave her tips to improve it.

"It's okay, Elza." Answered Haruka and stared motionless on her bag. "Better you go now."

_Before anyone sees you with me and you're in trouble._

Elza nodded thoughtfully.

"See you tomorrow." She whispered and left the gymnasium, too.

_I hate them. All of them!_

Haruka clenched her fists and beat on the wooden ground of the gymnasium, not feeling the pain flashing through her body.

_Why can't they simply leave me in peace?_

But she knew they wouldn't. Not until she won the race and was finally able to have a career as a good athlete.

_It's my only chance._

dbdbdb

"Who does she think she is?"

"To come here!"

"She doesn't belong to this school."

"Hai."

"She doesn't belong to _us_!"

"Exactly."

Haruka leaned against the wall and tried to ignore the rude voices around her. Of course she saw them staring curiously at her. At the old clothes she wore. At the worn out pants, at the simple old boots, at the warm leather jacket that seemed to be new, but it simply didn't fit the event: The winter's school ball. As every year it was the most important event for many schoolgirls to have fun with their best friends, to find a cute boy or to dance with their boyfriends. To show everyone with pride how beautiful they all were. How nice, expensive dresses their wore and how much time it took them to get their hair done.

This year some important guests were invited, too. Some famous people who donated a lot of money to the school. And so the food was more delicious than ever and the show programme was better than it had been any year before. The orchestra sat on the stage and played a soft waltz and many couples danced. Haruka watched them in silence and pushed her hands deeper into her jacket's pockets. She wanted so badly to dance with Michiru but she knew that rich girl would never dance with her.

"Look at her hairs. Surely she didn't even brush them."

"Brush? Tell me when she washed them the last time!"

_This afternoon._

Haruka groaned silently and asked herself why she was here. She knew she didn't belong to all those schoolgirls. Into their shinning, glamorous world.

_They're all swans._

"And her boots. No proper girl wears boots like these - even if it's cold outside!"

_And I am the ugly ducky._

"Hi, Haruka!" suddenly, a smiling girl appeared in her dark thoughts and she winced as she felt a warm hand shaking her cold one. Startled dark green eyes looked into smiling light blue ones.

"Nice to meet you here." Usagi smiled and swirled around. "Do you like my dress? My mother made it for me." She grinned happily and lifted the long, white skirt. Her blonde plaits almost touched the ground and she reminded Haruka of someone. She simply couldn't remember whom.

"Hai, it's nice."

"I knew it!" She grinned with triumph in her eyes over to a girl in a red dress. Dark hair surrounded a redden face. Haruka frowned, but remembered her when they both showed each other their tongues.

"Your friends are here, too?"

"Hai, Rei goes to another school, but Makoto told her so much about a cute boy so she simply had to come." Usagi giggled and waved her hands to Minako who dragged a blushing Ami towards the buffet. Makoto held up a roll and it seemed that she explained them what it was made of. Ami blushed even deeper while she watched how Minako filled her plate - without any shame.

"There is that cute boy!" suddenly Usagi was very excited and pointed over to the most popular boy at school. Haruka only pressed her lips together as she recognized Masanori.

"Keep dreaming, Odango-chan. He's too old for you and who wants a girl who stumbles each time she tries to walk?" Suddenly, a tall boy with short black hair in a perfect dark tuxedo stood behind Usagi. She frowned and showed him angrily her tongue when she turned around.

"You! Why can't you simply leave me in peace?"

"I'd like to, but I want to have some juice and you're standing in the way!" he replied and grinned. She grinned back – in the same mad way.

"You baka!"

"You're the same baka!"

Haruka giggled while she watched them go. Usagi pretended to get a glass of orange juice, too, while the tall boy asked for an apple juice.

"Can't you just take what all the other students get?"

"I don't like orange juice! And you shouldn't shout at me! You're not my mother."

"I am very happy about this!"

They kept arguing, but suddenly Haruka envied them. Because it wasn't a real fight. They were only teasing each other. Maybe they didn't know it, but Haruka could see that they liked each other a lot, but would have killed each other before admitting it.

_They're a nice couple._

Haruka sighed deeply and leaned again against the wall to stare over to the stage. Michiru sat somewhere between the other musicians in the first array and played with so much passion that she mostly closed her eyes. There were notes before her, but she hardly turned a page. It seemed that she knew all those songs by heart.

Slowly, the waltz ended and the couples turned towards the stage and applauded. The conductor stepped towards the micro and said something to the audience, but Haruka didn't listen to him. She only looked at Michiru who placed a small micro at her clothes and stood slowly up. There was no nervousness in her face, no hurry in her motions.

_She looks happy._

Her often so pale cheeks were redden and her hands held the violin softly. Her sea green hair was hold together in her neck by a net of white roses and only some single strands fell over her shoulders. The evening dress she wore was very narrow and showed all female outlines of her slim body. It was the same deep blue like her eyes. And it sparkled the same. As if it were covered with tiny diamonds.

The conductor said something about a new song and that she would play it - alone. Only the piano that stayed on the stage, too, would accompany her. The conductor told them a title, but Haruka forgot it as soon as Michiru walked towards him. Walked? She seemed to float.

Briefly, they shook hands and then Michiru stood alone on the stage. The lights were dimmed and she was there in one single spotlight Her deep blue eyes searched the audience and a tender smile appeared on her face as she looked for some seconds directly into Haruka's face.

_Did she really look for me?_

Haruka blushed slightly and there was whisper around her. Excited whisper. But it died away when Michiru put her violin to her left shoulder and softly touched the strings. Then she closed her eyes and the piano started to play. In a clear way. Playing notes that reminded Haruka suddenly of a wide ocean. Of a deep ocean. Of an ocean only a few people could see.

_She did come!_

Michiru smiled and the first tender tone escaped her bow as it danced weightlessly over the chords. Suddenly, Haruka saw the independent wind playing with the strong waves. Wild wind but yet so calm.

_I wish I could hold her again. I wish I could tell her about my feelings. I wish she would be there forever. Just playing. Being happy. Being mine..._

Haruka swallowed hard as she heard again Michiru's voice. But this time it wasn't as angry as it had been in the small restaurant where she had played some songs with _The Devils._ Today it was tender and full of hope.

Silently, Michiru started to sing.

_"In this proud land we grew up strong_

_We were wanted all along_

_I was taught to fight, taught to win_

_I never thought I could fail_

_No fight left over so it seems_

_I am a man whose dreams have all deserted_

_I've changed my face, I've changed my name_

_But no-one wants you when you lose"_

Haruka sighed deeply and bit on her lower lip. She was taught to fight. By her parents, by her classmates. By the teachers. She knew she wasn't allowed to lose. Otherwise, it would be her end.

_But I've failed so many times..._

Each time her father beat her mother she had crept back into her room, listened to her walkman and pretended not to hear her mother's screams. Each time her father came into her sleeping room in the middle of the night she had sworn to herself to hit back, to defend herself the next time. But she didn't. She only covered her face and hoped that he was too drunk to hurt her more than only with his stupid belt. Each time the pain was too big in her soul to endure any longer she had promised herself to go to Yakoto and to tell her everything. To ask Mila for forgiveness and to go to the teachers to ask for help. But when she was finally at school she kept silent, too afraid of what would follow. Too ashamed of what had happened. Too proud to lose the rest of herself.

But she lost much more and now no one wanted her any longer.

Slowly she lowered her head and looked at her boots and at her dirty pants. She had changed her face two years ago. To be able to survive. But at the same time she made everything worse. Her father didn't want to touch her any longer - only with his belt. But all the other people didn't want to be her friend, either.

_Friends?_

She had stopped to believe in friendship two years ago. Until she met Michiru in the subway...

_"Don't give up_

_'cos you have friends_

_don't give up_

_you're not beaten yet_

_don't give up_

_I know you can make it good"_

Haruka raised her head as she heard the soft words. Michiru opened her eyes and for a moment it looked as if they were alone in the huge hall. As if all the other pupils didn't exist any longer. Michiru smiled tenderly and suddenly Haruka felt tears burning in her eyes.

_Don't give up..._

Michiru had said those words to herself at the cemetery.

_Don't give up, 'cos you have friends._

Haruka swallowed hard.

_Hai, I still have her._

_"Thought I saw it all around_

_Never thought that I could be affected_

_Thought that we'd be last to go_

_It is so strange the way things turn_

_Drove the night towards my home_

_The place that I was born, on the lakeside_

_As daylight broke, I saw the earth_

_The trees had burned down to the ground"_

Michiru closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. She remembered too well the day just two weeks ago. Haruka had had training and her uncle was out with Hotaru to the hospital, because the little girl had had another attack. Michiru took the bus and needed about two hours to get to the beach she had known so well during her childhood. She had walked over two miles to get to her parents' house. The house she was born in, just at the side of a huge lake. The biggest on earth. It was dusk and she simply couldn't go into the house. She was suddenly very afraid and asked herself if she'd ever be able to enter the house of her childhood again. It all seemed so lifeless, so dead. Even the trees growing around the house seemed burned.

_I miss them so much._

Two tears were running down her redden cheeks and some pupils gasped, but she didn't hear them.

_But I am not alone any longer._

Again she opened her eyes and looked again into teary green ones.

_"Don't give up_

_You still have us_

_Don't give up_

_We don't need much of anything_

_Don't give up_

_'cause somewhere there's a place_

_where we belong"_

She meant it. All the nights she couldn't sleep the song spun around in her mind. Therefore, she stayed up one night and wrote it down. In just two hours.

_Somewhere there's a place where we belong._

She had no home any longer, but the longer Michiru looked at Haruka she wished to have one. With the tall girl.

_Do I belong to her?_

Haruka sighed deeply and clenched her fists inside her pocket. The desire to stretch her arms towards the smaller girl was almost irresistible.

_"Rest your head_

_You worry too much_

_It's going to be alright_

_When times get rough_

_You can fall back on us_

_Don't give up_

_Please don't give up"_

Michiru smiled tenderly and again Haruka felt the soft hands stroking through her blond hair. She wanted so badly to believe those words. That there was someone who would hold her whenever she fell down.

_"'got to walk out of here_

_I can't take any more_

_Going to stand on that bridge_

_Keep my eyes down below_

_Whatever may come_

_And whatever may go_

_That river's flowing_

_That river's flowing"_

Again Michiru saw the dark river beneath her, remembered her sad thoughts.

_I wanted to jump._

But a shyly grinning girl held her back. Comforted her. Gave her new powers to carry on.

_I didn't give up, because of her._

_"Moved on to another town_

_Tried hard to settle down_

_For every job, so many men_

_So many men no-one needs"_

Haruka bit on her lower lip. She moved to another part of Tokyo and tried to begin a new life. However, it didn't work. Not as long as she was too young to get good jobs. To earn enough money to get by.

And she knew that she wasn't the only one.

Just like the young mother who froze so much in the cold rain.

_"Don't give up_

_'cause you have friends_

_Don't give up_

_You're not the only one_

_Don't give up_

_No reason to be ashamed_

_Don't give up_

_You still have us_

_Don't give up now_

_We're proud of who you are_

_Don't give up_

_You know its never been easy_

_Don't give up_

_'cause I believe there's a place_

_There's a place where we belong"_

Again they looked each other deep into the eyes and both, blue and green ones, were teary.

_I won't give up, because I have you._

Michiru swallowed hard as the piano died away and the bow danced for the last time over the strings. The last, tender note filled the hall and all that remained was silence.

_I won't give up, because you're there to keep me going._

Silence and silent sobs here and there.

The next moment the audience started to applaud. It was like a bomb exploding and Michiru blinked as if she returned from a deep dream. She looked for some seconds shocked at the pupils, then she started to smile. It was the most beautiful smile Haruka had ever seen.

_Don't give up, 'cause I believe there's a place, there's a place where we belong_.

Haruka heard again the soft voice in her mind while she watched how Michiru took some flowers from an obviously moved conductor who searched for his handkerchief. She bowed before the audience and nodded as Yakoto came to her and embraced her for some moments and gave her a small present - from her and the whole orchestra together. The audience applauded even more and Michiru giggled over something Yakoto told her.

"She's so talented."

"Hai."

"That was... moving!"

There was a deep sigh around Haruka who still leaned against her wall, not taking her eyes off the sea green haired beauty in the shimmering evening dress.

"She's such a nice, friendly person."

"Hai."

"It's such a pity that she's so often together with that Tenô girl."

"Hai!"

"That dyke has no good influence on her."

"Someone should talk with her relatives where she's living now."

"Hai, before she ruins her future."

"I guess she simply feels guilty, because she sits next to the Tenô girl and she's never left one of her classmates behind when they needed help with school."

"That's okay. I heard Yakoto got better in Japanese grammar and they all like her a lot. But to help that dyke, that's too late. Her marks are too bad and the only thing she's able is to run. Ha! To run away!"

_To run away!_

Haruka swallowed hard and clenched her fists. All the happiness she had felt just some seconds ago was suddenly gone. She lowered her head so that she didn't have to look into those wrong smiling eyes and turned around. Slowly, she left the hall and could hear their angry whispers until the door was closed.

"She goes."

"At last!"

"Hai."

She sighed deeply and walked towards the tree she had sat down so many times when Michiru had come to her, had asked her about her homework and had learned English vocabulary with her. When the sea green haired girl had shared her bento with her and had talked to her about her problems and joys.

_About Hime-chan..._

Haruka took a deep breath and started to freeze. She raised her gaze to the endless sky above. She could see the moon shinning between heavy clouds. Snow clouds. Steam formed before her mouth while she breathed and she put her hands deeper into her jacket's pockets.

_Do I really belong to her?_

She had no idea, but she knew that she didn't belong to those girls. To this school. To the winter's ball inside the huge hall.

"Ruka?"

She winced wildly as she heard the soft voice suddenly behind her. She turned around and looked at Michiru who stood next to her on the frozen ground. She didn't wear anything over her evening dress and crossed her arms before her chest. There was no violin any longer in her hands, but still a tender smile on her face.

"Shouldn't you be in there and play?" asked Haruka and cursed herself immediately for her stupid question.

"No, it's now Robert's turn. He plays the piano so fantastically, therefore he got the chance to play a solo." She smiled and stretched her hand to take Haruka's. The tall girl stepped back and asked herself why she behaved suddenly so strange.

"Don't you want to come back, Ruka? It's cold outside."

Haruka swallowed hard and looked at the outstretched hand and then into deep blue eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asked and both of them knew that she didn't mean the bitter winter's cold.

"Hai." Michiru's smile grew wider and finally she took Haruka's icy hand. "See, you're already cold!" tenderly, she squeezed that hand. "Did you like my song?"

Haruka nodded and again tears burned in her eyes.

"Hai." she whispered, still hearing those soft words in her ears. Knowing their true meaning. The silent promise that stayed behind.

"It was wonderful." She took a deep breath and returned Michiru's smile uncertainly. "You are wonderful." It was nothing more than a whisper, but Michiru understood her, nonetheless. Slowly, she let go of Haruka's hand and raised her hands. Carefully, she touched still pale cheeks and tenderly wiped away two tears that had escaped dark green eyes.

"It's okay, Ruka." She whispered and saw how the taller girl blushed.

_I love you._

Haruka swallowed hard, but she wasn't strong enough to say those words aloud. To show the smaller girl how she felt - and to be ready to live with the consequences.

_I love you so much!_

Hesitantly, she embraced Michiru and held her gently tight. She felt how she trembled and wanted to free herself to give her the warm leather jacket. But Michiru held her determinedly tight and again they stared silently into each other's eyes.

"You're cold." Whispered Haruka and her voice sounded strange in her own ears.

"But now I have you to warm me." Replied Michiru and stroked over now redden cheeks. Haruka blushed even deeper, but didn't turn away as Michiru stepped on her tiptoes. Their faces were now very close and they could feel each other's warm breath on their skin.

_I love you so much._

Both closed their eyes as their lips met.

Haruka heard the warning voice yelling in her mind, but she ignored it. She held her Michiru tighter and repeated the tender kiss with all her feelings. With all her love she was too afraid to admit aloud. Automatically, she pressed the smaller girl tighter against her body and wished this moment to last forever. Until eternity. And even longer.

Michiru smiled as she felt how Haruka embraced her softly and she started tenderly to caress through blond strands she liked so much to touch. Her heart beat so strong inside her chest that she asked herself if Haruka would hear it. She felt a little bit dizzy - and happy.

_Damn, it feels so good! So right..._

"Michiru?"

They separated quickly as they heard the excited voice. Fast steps came running towards them and a breathless Yakoto crossed the school yard in a hurry.

Startled deep blue eyes looked into shocked dark green ones.

_Explain it! Now!_

Haruka swallowed hard and felt suddenly very alone. She wore her warm jacket, but now she froze like she never had before in her life.

_And what do you want to tell her?_

_Tell her the truth!_

_So that she runs away, screaming?_

But one look into Michiru's blushed face told her that she had already lost her best friend. Tears burned in deep blue eyes and the smaller body trembled.

"Robert's done with his play! Oh! He played so fantastic. And now it's our turn again. The others want to dance and they want a waltz - of course with you as the first violin." Said Yakoto and smiled happily at her, not seeing Michiru's confused look, her blushed face, her slightly messed hair.

"Okay..." whispered Michiru and shook her head to clear her mind.

"Come, you lazy chicken. There's still a lot of work for us to be done." Giggled Yakoto and grabbed her hand. Michiru turned around again to tell Haruka that she should follow her. But there was no tall girl standing next to the tall tree any longer. The place was empty, the wild tomboy was gone.

_I_ _have to talk to her._

Michiru chewed on her lower lip, still feeling the tender touch on her lips.

_I have to explain it to her._

She swallowed hard while Yakoto pulled her with her towards the big hall.

_Hope she understands it - and returns my feelings..._

dbdbdb

She heard the voices around her in the dark. Whispering. Whispering excitedly. She took a deep breath and slowly walked towards the gate of the schoolyard. There were too many of them and she knew it. And she knew that she had no chance against them. Not in such an unfair fight.

Her right shoulder started again to hurt as she turned around and started to run as fast as she could.

Maybe even not in a fair one.

She heard how the engines started to roar behind her. To speed up. They came right after her. Suddenly she felt like a wild animal. Being hunted mercilessly by the big guys. Almost she wanted to laugh about this crazy thought. But she knew that it wasn't funny. Swiftly, she turned her head and saw five motorbikes at the end of the street. Their lights illuminated the night and reminded her of wild cat's eyes. And she was the helpless, weak mouse.

_Shit_!

She should have known better. They had only waited for a chance like this. Next to the school was a huge park, but hardly any houses with people that could help her. The next subway station was too far away and it was too late to catch a bus.

_I don't have any money for a taxi._

She turned to the right and jumped over the railing and disappeared between the trees.

Again she saw the letter in her hands. The threatening words that they would kill her if she wouldn't keep away from Michiru. That she should leave the city if she hang on her life. But she couldn't simply go away. The same she couldn't simply stay away from her best friend.

_Is she still my best friend?_

Haruka wasn't sure what she should think about Michiru's reaction after the kiss. She didn't shout at her, nor did she slap her right into the face. But that wouldn't have been Kaioh Michiru. She didn't hit other people. She defeated them with her music and her words - not with her fists.

_She's so intelligent._

Haruka gasped hard for breath and stood quietly for a moment on a small way between the trees. She listened carefully, but couldn't hear the motorbikes anymore.

_Maybe they gave up._

Haruka swallowed hard as she felt again those soft hands messing her hair. Messing it so tenderly.

"Now we've got you!" yelled one of the men and suddenly there was a motorbike beside her. She winced wildly and ducked. His fist missed her head, but his foot kicked her right into her stomach. She groaned and went on her knees.

_No, not this way. No, not this easily!_

Her dark green eyes sparkled with anger as she clenched her fists and stood slowly up to ran again away. But the other motorbikes already reached her, too, and drove in a circle around her.

"We told you to go." One of the motorbike racers, he was the tallest of them, stopped and jumped from his motorbike. Two others followed him while the other two kept driving around and around.

"We've warned you even more than once!"

Haruka only turned around and tried to escape. She knew that it was senseless to fight with him. She was exhausted, tired and only one person. They were five.

But she didn't get far. The other two caught her before she could use the darkness and the shadows of the night to hide. Brutally, they grabbed her arms and forced her to stay where she was. Incredible pain flashed through her right shoulder and she bit hard on her lower lip to not scream out loud.

"Dyke!"

"Lesbian!"

They pushed her around towards their leader and held her arms even tighter. Haruka tried to defend herself, but she knew that it was senseless. They'd sooner break her arms than letting her go.

"Don't look that angry, it's all your own fault. We asked you so often to go - and especially to leave Kaioh Michiru in peace. But you simply wouldn't listen to me!" he said and hit her right into her face. Haruka lowered her head for some seconds and felt blood running over her lips. She swallowed hard, but her face was insensible when she looked again at his helmet.

"You don't control my life. No one does!" she declared in a cold voice. "Especially not someone who has to hide behind a mask and is too afraid to show is real face!" she spat at him and groaned slightly when he hit her again. Stars danced before her eyes and she knew that she had to use sunglasses the next day - if she'd ever be able to stand up again.

"You dare to talk about masks? Look at yourself, lesbian! You're wearing men's clothes, you cut your hair and behave like a boy. But you aren't one. You aren't a girl, either. So what do you think you are?" he bowed towards her and she could see his eyes through the helmet. Eyes sparkling with hate.

"I am me." She whispered and wished to cover her ears with her hands as he started terribly to laugh. She knew that wicked laugh. She had heard it so many times before...

_Masanori..._

Haruka's eyes grew wide and suddenly she knew that he beat her down not only because of her looks or her strange behaviour.

"Do you think it's fair to win the competition that way, Masanori?" she asked in a clear voice and fell the next moment against one of the boy holding her violently tight. She groaned as he kicked her right into her belly and her legs trembled. She went down on her knees, but the boys didn't let go. Her shoulder hurt even more and she asked herself when they would break her arms.

"Do you think it's fair to poison other people with your illness?" screamed Masanori suddenly very loudly and hit her again into her face. The pain increased, but she ignored it. She only stared down to the frozen ground and asked herself when it would be over.

Over at last.

"You kissed Kaioh Michiru! You tried to poison her, too, with your disease, you little bitch!" he grabbed her blonde strands and forced her too look right into his face. The helmet was somewhere on the ground and his eyes looked even more dangerous now.

Haruka winced as he kicked her again - this time a little bit lower than her belly. But she didn't scream. She didn't give him that last satisfaction.

"You'll never touch her again!" it was a threat but she didn't listen to him anymore. Black shadows waited at the rim of her eyes and she lowered her head again. To see the blood running over her old uniform.

_Masanori must have opened my jacket._

She hadn't realize it, but she started to giggle over her crazy thoughts.

_That's nice of him, because otherwise it would have become dirty, too. And it was so expensive..._

She giggled even more until her giggle turned into quiet sobbing. But there were no tears in her eyes. Only blood that dirtied her pale cheeks.

"Tomorrow are the competitions and after that you'll have to go, don't worry. Then you'll be forced to leave." Masanori grinned madly at her and let her hair go, not without hitting her again right into her bloodstained face. "And don't worry about Michiru, I'll take good care of her. As a real man!"

He laughed and gave his partners a sign. Haruka felt how they let go of her and she simply fell down to the ground. Pain flashed through her body as her right shoulder touched the frozen underground and she closed her hurting eyes as Masanori climbed again his motorbike - still laughing wickedly.

"Have nice dreams, you bloody lesbian!"

Haruka didn't dare to move - even as the full bottle of beer hit her back. She didn't dare to move as they drove away. She didn't dare to move as they were long gone.

_Because somewhere there's a place where we belong._

Again she heard the soft voice in her mind. Tears burned in her eyes as she finally started moved. Slowly, she came to her feet and reeled dangeroulsy. Her whole body hurt and her head wanted to explode.

_I don't belong here._

Quietly, Haruka sobbed while she asked herself how she should get to her room. The pain in her shoulder was driving her crazy and there was still blood running over her face. But she was too weak to raise her hands to wipe it away.

_I don't belong to Michiru._

Two tears ran down her cheeks and burned like hell in her wounds. Slowly, she stumbled over the path and tried to remember where to go.

_I don't belong anywhere._

At that moment it started to snow.

dbdbdb

"The snow is so wonderful..." whispered Michiru and spreat her arms. She danced over the whole schoolyard. Yakoto who followed her had to giggled. The ball was almost over and they decided to go home. Her uncle would fetch her in about ten minutes; she had called him up and had promised Yakoto to take her home.

"Hai, it's so light." Answered Yakoto and giggled even more as Michiru put her violin case into her hands and started to dance on the frozen ground. Within so many flakes floating down to earth.

_It's so peaceful here._

Again she heard the soft music in her mind and rocked herself in its rhythm.

_I wish I could dance with Haruka this way._

Sadly, she looked over to the empty space beneath the tree. Sadly, that Haruka hadn't wanted to listen to her music any longer. Sadly, that Haruka had simply walked away and hadn't waited for her to finish her concert. Sadly, that she had had no chance to talk to her best friend today.

_I don't even know where she lives._

Once she had asked Yakoto, but it seemed as if no one knew her address.

"May I dance with you!" It didn't sound like a question, more like an order. Michiru turned around and looked at the tall boy every girl at school admired. Yakoto made big eyes. Of course she had dreamed, too, that Masanori would once in her life ask her to dance with him.

_But I am not like all those other girls._

Michiru shook her head and went over to take her violin case again.

_I only want to dance with my Ruka._

"No, thank you, Masanori." She said with a friendly, but determined smile and grabbed the sleeve of Yakoto's coat. "Let's go home, Yako-chan. It's pretty late."

Masanori took a deep breath and held her back.

"You aren't like her." He whispered and it seemed as if he wanted to force her back into the huge hall. But she kicked right at his leg and freed herself.

"Are you so sure?" she asked with a dangerously quite voice, knowing whom the tall boy meant. Often enough she heard how he shouted at Haruka and often enough Elza had not the courage to defend her team partner.

_They're all so stupid!_

Her eyes sparkled as she quickly crossed school yard. Yakoto had problems to follow her.

dbdbdb

She leaned over the toilet and retched for a couple more times, until she fell again on her knees. She lowered her head and messed blond strands pasted to a sweaty, burning forehead.

_That was it. There's nothing left inside my stomach._

But still she felt incredibly ill. All night she couldn't sleep and it took her incredibly much time to get ready the next morning. She knew that she had a fever, but she couldn't go to the doctor. Today were the competitions and she had to win.

She reeled as she stood up. Hard she seized on the door as she went over to the washbasin. Her dark green eyes shimmered feverishly. They were black and swollen. Therefore, she had searched for her sunglasses and put them on - although every one looked strange at her - because it was in the middle of December. She groaned as she raised her hands to wash her redden face. Half of the night she had tried to stop the bleeding and it had been very hard to bandage her shoulder again. She had taken the last painkillers she owned when she left her room, but still her arm hurt more than she could actually endure.

_Shit! I have to win!_

But she knew that it was impossible.

Even one hour later when she knelt before the sport teacher she knew that she wouldn't be able to win. Not in her condition. Not with her pain. Not with the dizziness that filled her mind.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked around into excited faces. Of course most of the girls hoped that Masanori would win and they cheered up as he took his place on the other side of the tack. Haruka was thankful for that. She didn't need his hurting words. Not now.

_Where is she?_

Haruka searched in young faces, but couldn't find the one she was looking for.

_Where is Michiru?_

Haruka's heart skipped a beat as she recognized that the sea beauty hadn't come to cheer at her. To hold her thumbs for her. To congratulate her to her victory.

_So I finally lost the one and only friend I ever had._

It crashed loudly in her head as the teacher started the race. Her headache increased and suddenly she saw again her mother aiming at her. At the girl she never wanted. At the dyke no one ever loved...

She bit on her lower lip as she started to run. Her entire body ached and it was as if she ran through firewalls. She didn't want to run. She only wanted to lay down and die.

_Don't give up._

_That's so easy to say!_

Her shoulder was driving her crazy and she could hardly breathe because of all the pain that filled her world. That would never go away. That would follow her until the end of her days.

Masanori grinned as he overtook her. She tried to give all she had, but she knew that it was not enough. Her powers decreased while the fever had increased at night and even as she had tried to bandage her wound she could still felt a warm fluid running down her arm.

_Please, I am not allowed to lose!_

Then she would be all alone. Then they would kick her out of school. Then she wouldn't get a neat education to get a good job. To get enough money to pay the rent.

She stumbled and more people overtook her. She heard the screaming of the people around her like through a thick blanket. Far away. As if she weren't part of this world any longer. As if she were only a watcher who could switch off the TV as soon as the transmission got boring.

There was a shrill noise that seemed to tear her head apart and she knew that the winner reached the goal. And that she wasn't the winner. She raised her head and smiled a sad smile as she recognized that Elza bet Masanori.

_At least it's worth for someone._

Now Elza would take part in the championship.

Haruka reached the finish line - but she didn't care about it any longer. The people screamed even louder. In her ears it sounded as if they all laughed at her. At the dyke who finally lost. Finally they all would be able to throw her away - just like rubbish.

"I told you, bloody lesbian!" she heard somewhere Masanori whisper but she couldn't define any longer where he was standing. She only kept going. Straight ahead. To the exit. Ignoring Elza shouting after her. Ignoring the teacher's concerned looks. Ignoring the whole competition.

She walked and walked and walked. Until she broke down in the bathroom. She knelt in one of the cabins and gasped hard for breath while she held her hurting shoulder. Asking for deliverance.

_No one wants you when you lose..._

dbdbdb

_I have to talk to her._

Carefully, Haruka closed her jacket and sat down on a bank before the great hall. The orchestra had an important rehearsal, because there had been a TV reporter at the ball yesterday and they wanted to hear the orchestra - and especially Michiru - again. Therefore, they quickly decided for another concert. It would take part tomorrow evening and it should be more perfect than the one yesterday.

_Will she sing this song again?_

Haruka lowered her head and stared at her boots. She was grateful for the jacket. Her uniform was still bloodstained; she didn't have the time to wash it the last night. So the dark leather covered it perfectly.

"Are you looking for Michiru?"

Slowly, she raised her head and looked into two grinning faces of two girls she could slightly remember playing flutes.

_I want to talk to her. About yesterday. About..._

"Guess you've waited in vain. She's already gone." Said the small one with long brown hair.

"Hai, she used the backdoor. She told us that she doesn't want to see you again." The other one was taller, with long blue hair.

"Better you go now, too. The hall is closing soon." They both giggled and walked away. Haruka sighed deeply and lowered her head again.

_I went too far with the kiss._

Her heart hurt and it felt as if it were torn apart.

_I_ _didn't want to lose you, Michi-chan._

She gasped hard for breath and her look blurred slightly. Her entire body seemed to be on fire and she did sweat, although she trembled because of the bitter cold that seemed to fill her body, seemed to creep into her bones.

_I loved you, Michi-chan_.

Slowly, she rose and reeled over to the door to get out into the cold dusk. Into another stormy night. Into her bloody life she wasn't sure any longer if it was still worth enough to fight for.

_I loved you so much..._

Quietly she sobbed. Knowing that she already lost the sea beauty. Forever.

As fast as she could she put her violin into her case and grabbed her coat. The last girls had left the hall two hours ago, but the conductor rehearsed longer with her and Robert who played his piano during her song.

She pushed the door open and looked disappointedly around. The corridor was empty. There was no wild tomboy sitting around, waiting for her.

_Surely, she's celebrating her victory._

Michiru had spent all day in the hall and there she hadn't been able to see the competitions. But she was sure that her best friend won, because no one was as fast as Haruka.

_No one is as fast as the wind._

But Michiru was disappointed that Haruka hadn't waited for her. She wanted so badly to talk to her.

_Maybe she isn't the way the other girls think she is._

Michiru swallowed hard and held her violin tighter. She wrapped her scarf around her neck as she stepped out into the cold night. It was snowing again and her uncle would fetch her up. It was now too dangerous for her to walk home in the dark. Especially when it was so slippery and so snowy.

Haruka hand't answered her questions when she had asked her directly. Michiru frowned and waved her hands as she saw the little girl running through the snow, throwing flakes into the air.

"Auntie Michi!" screamed Hotaru and flew into her arms. Michiru smiled and held her niece gently in her trembling arms.

_Maybe she isn't like me..._

dbdbdb

She felt terribly cold. Although she wore her gloves, her fingers were stiff and icy. On her way back to her room it had started to snow and now her hair was wet. Of course she had once got a wonderful cap from Michiru, but she must have lost it during the fight in the park.

_I'll never see her again._

She reeled and crashed against a wall. Her legs felt like rubber and entire whole body trembled. The headache clouded her mind and tears burned in her feverishly sparkling eyes. Her face burned and the wind hurt on her hot cheeks.

_You have to go on._

She took a deep breath and carried on. The world spun around, but she tried to ignore it.

_Just one more street, then I'll be in my room. Then I can lay down on the bed and get some sleep._

Although, she didn't know how it should be possible for her to find any sleep. She had wasted all her painkillers for the stupid race she couldn't wind. But someone had told her once that sleep was like medicine. And it was the only medicine she could afford.

_The hospital's too expensive._

She had no insurance, no money and she wasn't even sure if she'd make it to the hospital. It was a long way from here.

She sighed deeply as she finally entered the huge building and slipped along the dirty corridors. It took her an eternity to reach the third floor. Of course the elevator was broken again. And even if it had worked, she didn't trust it. There was no one around who would rescue her if she'd be trapped in it.

_Just lay down..._

She raised her key and tried to open the door. It opened for some inches, then it denied her entrance. Haruka blinked in confusion and tried it again. With the same result.

_Nani?_

She groaned loudly as she saw the chain. A big chain with a big locket she had no key for. There was a letter hanging on it and she grabbed it. Impatiently, she opened it with her trembling hands and groaned even more tortured as she read the few words.

"I have no money..." she sobbed and panic filled her mind. The letter said that she had one week time to pay this month's rent, as well as the rent for the following one. Otherwise, they would take her few things, sell them and get a new tenant for the room.

"They can't..." she shook her head and groaned as her headache increased.

_Of course they can._

She knew that too well. They had written her more than one letter and reminded her to pay the rent, but she never did and so they finally closed her room.

_But I want to pay!_

Haruka reeled and went on her knees before the chain, still beating against the door.

_I've worked so hard these last days._

However, her salary had never been enough to pay her rent. She had known it from the beginning that it would be impossible for her to get so much money - and to go to school and to eat the same time. But she had tried it, because she didn't want to go into an orphan's house and later... later somewhere else.

Slowly, she rose, because she knew she couldn't stay on the corridor. There were other people living here and most of them weren't friendly. She was very helpless at the moment and she didn't want that anyone used her weak condition.

_I have to go now._

Haruka stumbled down the stairs, still holding her sport bag tightly in her trembling hands. It contained the last things she owned.

_Not very much..._

She sobbed as she stepped outside into the cold night. Still, it snowed and the cloudy sky didn't look as if the weather would change.

_Where should I go?_

She didn't have an answer. Therefore, she simply started to walk. In any direction that was as good at the others. As long as it would lead her out of this region of Tokyo.

Her pants were wet and she froze more and more with every step. More than once she stopped and retched. But there was nothing left in her stomach she could have thrown up. So she kept reeling. Some people stared at her, because they thought she was deadly drunk. But most of the them ignored her. How they ignored all beggars, whores and junkies who lived on the dirty streets of the big, shimmering city.

_I have to ask for help._

It was the only clear thought in her dizzy mind as she slipped over the icy ground. More than once she fell down and it took her each time longer to stand up again. She knew that she wasn't allowed to lay down in the snow. That would have been her end.

_Don't give up._

Maybe she would die this night. Maybe this was her end. But she didn't want to die where any beggars would steal the few things she had. She didn't want that they found her body naked on the other morning. Blue and stiff of the snow.

_I have to ask for help._

But she didn't know whom to ask. She'd prefer to kill herself than going back to her raging mother. And friends... she had no friends. She didn't know where Yakoto lived now. They moved one year ago into a new house after Yakoto's father got a new job. And the rest of the girls...

_They'd laugh at me._

_I wouldn't laugh._

Again she heard the soft voice in her mind and two hot tears ran down over her pale cheeks. They were the only warmth she felt right now. But they were too small to warm her.

_Michi-chan..._

She knew she was her only chance. But she didn't dare to ask.

_She didn't even want to see me again..._

Haruka coughed and the school bag escaped her trembling hands. She bowed to pick it up as she recognized where she actually was. She swallowed hard as she raised her head and stared in disbelieve at the huge house she had got to know so well during the past weeks.

_It's her house..._

She sobbed quietly and stumbled slowly towards the entrance door. For about half an hour she stared at the door and at the bell and started even more to tremble. Tears burned in her eyes and she chewed on her lower lip until it started to bleed. However, she simply couldn't raise her hand and push the button. She simply couldn't call for Michiru and ask her for help.

_I should have never kissed her!_

The pain increased inside her shoulder and her arm felt suddenly warm. Haruka swallowed hard and sobbed even more as she turned around and sat down on the first step of the small staircase leading towards the wide garden. She had no power any more to raise and to walk away. So she simply kept sitting. She took her head into her hands and stared with empty eyes into the falling snow, slowly floating down to earth. It looked so peaceful and nothing could be heard. Only silence surrounded her.

_It's just like Christmas._

Haruka lowered her head and more tears ran down her redden cheeks. Suddenly, she wished her mother had aimed better that day she had killed her puppy.

dbdbdb

"Kittens, I am coming." Giggled Michiru while she balanced two bowls with warm milk. Hotaru was too ill to hold cats inside the house, but the little girl loved them. So they fed the neighbour's cats, too. And Hotaru often observed them through the window.

But today the little girl already slept deep and tight and Dr. Tomoe sat in his own room and studied something he needed for his work. Michiru had already changed for bed as she remembered that she had forgotten to take something out. So she but her bathrobe over and went back into the kitchen.

"Oi, that's coooold." She said while she opened the door with her elbow and her back and put the bowels down. Still it snowed and now even their staircase that had a roof was slightly covered with snow.

"Guess it's going to be a white Christmas." Michiru said and patted a small black cat that came out of the dark and started greedily to drink. "Where are your brothers, small one?" Michiru patted her again and frowned. She could hear the wind playing with the snow flakes, the cat drinking the milk and some other cats slowly coming towards her. But there was something else she heard.

_Someone is crying._

She turned around and froze in motion as she saw the figure sitting on the first step. She had wrapped her arms around her chest and leaned against the cold handrail. The pants and the jacket were covered with snow, the blond strands looked frozen.

"Ruka?" Michiru's eyes grew wide and the next moment she was by her best friend's side. Ignoring that she only wore her sockets and her bathrobe. All she saw was her best friend Haruka who was obviously in pain.

"Ruka?" she shook her head and gasped hard for breath as the tall girl slowly raised her head. Her cheeks were wet from her tears and she still wore her sunglasses. With trembling hands Michiru put them away and saw that the eyes were black and swollen. And that they shimmered with a high fever.

_Someone hit her._

Michiru swallowed hard and stroked with trembling hands over wet cheeks, feeling the hot skin under her fingers.

_Someone hit my Ruka!_

Haruka only stared at her with an empty expression on her face as if she wouldn't understand any more what was going on around her.

"Hell, you have a high fever, Ruka." Michiru carefully embraced her and tried to help her up. Haruka was suddenly very heavy, although the sea green haired girl knew that her best friend was too slim.

"How long have you already been sitting here?" she asked, her mind spinning around with the strangest thoughts. With so many questions she knew she wouldn't get an answer, not yet.

Something warm touched over her right hand and as she looked down she saw that Haruka's right hand, which she held gently tight to support her, was covered with blood. There was a red puddle on the ground within the white snow.

"Hell, why didn't you ring the bell, Ruka?" she whispered in shock and tired to pull the blonde with all her powers into the warm house.

Haruka raised her head a bit and looked into deep blue eyes. Wondering why Michiru seemed to be so concerned. Wondering why Michiru helped her into her warm house. Wondering why Michiru didn't slap her right into the face - like all the others had done.

"No one loves me..." she whispered with a sob. Then she gave up and welcomed the black darkness that surrounded her.

Michiru stared at her in disbelieve as she fell hard into her arms. Then she started to scream very loud through the entire house for her uncle. For help. For hope.

dbdbdb

She looked so fragile in the huge bed. So small. So helpless.

Michiru bit hard on her lower lip as she watched how her uncle undressed her best friend and covered her shaking body with a soft blanket. Michiru had insisted to put Haruka in her bed and her uncle didn't ask any further. It was alike to him in which room the tall girl was, as long as he could take care of her.

At first, Michiru had asked him if they should better call an ambulance, but he only shook his head.

"I am a doctor, Michi." He had declared to her while he had taken all the things he would need from his room. "I've handled so many worse situation with Hime-chan that I'll be able to handle hers, as well." He shrugged his shoulders and added some moments later. "They can't do anything more for her in the hospital than I can do here - and here she has the best nurse on earth."

Michiru smiled sadly and sat down next to the bed to put a wet, cold towel on Haruka'she burning forehead. She winced when she saw how her uncle cleaned Haruka's left arm and connected it to a drip.

"To decrease the fever." He declared silently and stared again at the thermometer. It was too high. Then he looked into Haruka's face and shook his head.

"They hit her rudely." He whispered and stroked carefully over burning cheeks. Then he looked at Michiru who couldn't hold back her tears any longer.

"I didn't know about that, uncle Tarô." She whispered and wetted the towel again. Her uncle nodded and unbuttoned Haruka's shirt.

"She likes to wear boy's clothes, doesn't..." he said and his voice died away as he saw the bloodstained bandage around her shoulder and all the blood that still oozed through the shirt. He swallowed hard and briefly he and his niece exchanged glances. Both were very pale with a sudden.

"Has she ever mentioned..."

"No..." whispered Michiru and shook slowly, very slowly her head, not taking her eyes from the skinny body. From the bleeding body. "I've never seen any pain..." she frowned and felt again how Haruka had winced when she had embraced her. That time, she had thought the reason had been because Haruka had been afraid that she would think of her as a lesbian, too.

Very, very carefully Dr. Tomoe cut the bloodstained bandage away and took one of his soft tissues to clean and disinfect the wound.

"My goodness..." he whispered finally and turned around to get something from his big doctor's bag.

"Nani?" Michiru was even paler and suddenly she was thankful that Hotaru hadn't heard her shocked screams only minutes ago. That she still slept in her bed, hopefully dreaming something nice. Nicer than this horrible reality.

"I don't know exactly when, but someone shot at your friend, Michiru." Dr. Tomoe raised his hands and Michiru could see a needle sparkling in his hands.

"Shot..." she whispered in shock and looked in Haruka's expressionless, pale face. Automatically, she stroked over burning cheeks as if she wanted to comfort Haruka, although she knew that she wouldn't feel the stitches.

"Hai. She was lucky. The bullet went straight through her shoulder. Otherwise, she would be dead now. I don't think that she got this injury only yesterday or even last week. And with a bullet in it and without medical help she could have easily got a blood-poisoning." Dr. Tomoe took a deep breath, then he started to stitch the wound so that it would finally stop bleeding.

"She never... never told me..." whispered Michiru and again tears ran down her cheeks while she kept stroking those hot cheeks.

"She had known you for only... for how long, Michi? One month? Six weeks?" Dr. Tomoe looked briefly up and saw the rips under the pale skin, saw the slim belly and the thin arms. "She needed more time." He sighed deeply and was reminded of all the times her niece had invited the tall girl for supper. "How many time did you share your meals with her?" he asked and thought of how shocked he was when he had lifted the tall girl hardly half an hour ago.

"Don't know. Almost every day..." Michiru's eyes grew wide as she realized what her uncle wanted to tell her.

_Is it true? Did you live such a hard life? In such a hell?_

She caressed again over her cheeks while her other hand held Haruka's icy one softly tight. The one where the drip ended in.

_You're so warm._

Michiru's sobbed quietly.

_Please, open your eyes!_

But she knew that Haruka wouldn't, not right now.

"Guess you've saved her from starving the way she looks." Dr. Tomoe shook his head and cleaned the stitches and bandaged the shoulder anew. Then he looked at Michiru and she saw suddenly anger sparkling in his dark eyes. Anger she had hardly seen there before.

"Hasn't anybody noticed how much this girl suffers?" he answered with rage in his icy voice. Michiru took a deep breath and frowned, feeling the anger raising inside her, too.

All night long while she took care of an unconscious Haruka she heard that sentence again and again in her mind. Knowing that she was as angry as she hadn't been before in her life.

dbdbdb

Her head was going to explode and her mouth was dry. She opened her eyes but all she saw was darkness. Something had been put over her eyes. It was nicely cold and wet. Haruka groaned slightly and wanted to raise her hands to take it away, but she couldn't. Something held back her arms. Both arms. She gasped for breath and panic filled her mind as she realized that she was tied to the bed. It was a soft bed with a warm mattress.

_Where am I?_

She wanted to turn her head to get rid of the cloth over her eyes, but the pain flashing through her body held her back. She moved her legs and started to whimper as she realized that she didn't wear her dirty, wet school uniform any longer. That she didn't wear anything at all, only some underwear that wasn't even her own, because it was too wide.

"No..." she sobbed and imagined herself in one of those houses she had tried to avoid all her life. To be the victim of those rude men who first caught their victims, gave them drugs later on and let them work for more drugs after they had used the victim for themselves at first.

"No..." She tried to fight, but she simply couldn't escape the bonds around her arms.

_I don't want this!_

Tears burned in her eyes and she gasped hard for breath. Her throat was dry and hurt terribly.

_Please, let me die now!_

Or was she already dead? Was this hell?

"Hush, Ruka. I am here." There was a soft voice she knew. From somewhere. The towel was removed and she stared blurrily into deep blue eyes, which were looking down at her in concern.

"Are you an angel?"

Haruka blinked as she saw a tender smile on a beautiful face.

Maybe she had really died and this was heaven. But why was she tied to a bed? And why did she still feel so much pain in her trembling body?

"Do you really think so?" giggled Michiru and Haruka asked herself if she'd said it aloud or if this angel could read her thoughts.

"Maybe..." Again she felt so tired. So endlessly tired.

The next moment the angel was gone and she was again alone. In silence and darkness. There was no light burning in the room. Her childhood's room. Maybe her parents never had had enough money to buy proper food, but she had always had her own room. With her own bed and her own window.

_Am I small again?_

Haruka frowned and wanted to turn around. However, she couldn't move. Her arms didn't seem to belong to her any more and her entire body felt so wrong.

_Why again? I've always been a small child._

The door opened with a loud, crackling noise and she swallowed hard. Her throat was dry and panic filled her mind. Still there was no light, but she didn't need one. She saw his shadow coming towards her bed. Sitting down next to her and stroking through her hair. She swallowed again, but didn't dare to move. Something sparkled in the moonlight and she saw how he raised his belt over her head.

"Be friendly to me, Haru-chan." He whispered and she felt how his hand stroked over her cheeks, over her neck and over her breasts. "I am your father and you love your daddy, don't you?"

She gasped hard for breath and the pain increased inside her body. Her eye were wide open and she shook her head. Tears burned on her face as he touched her again and again.

"No..." she whimpered and tried to defend herself, but she couldn't. "No, leave me in pace!" she cried and tried to turn away. But her body was too weak to move.

"Hey, you've finally grown into a woman." He smiled the wicked grin she hated so much. "Finally, you're a woman..." again he stroked over her body and she asked herself why she wore so little. "You see, you'll like it."

Dark green eyes grew wide with panic, fear and disgust.

"Don't touch me!" it was a scream that seemed to destroy the night. But he only grinned at her and moved over her body. To touch her the way he hadn't when she had been younger. When she had still looked like a boy and he had hit her with his belt instead.

"Get off me! Get off!" she yelled again and tried to defend herself, but her shoulder hurt even more and she almost fainted from the pain flashing through her head.

"Please... please..." she turned her head aside and sobbed helplessly. "I am not your small girl... not a pretty girl... not... not a girl at all..." It had used to work. He hadn't wanted her, because she had looked too male. And when he had once tried to touch her, because she let her hair grow, wore short skirts and did a perm together with her best friend Yakoto, she decided to become a boy. To dress like a boy, to behave like a boy, to be one. She even cut her hair she had always wanted to wear long. She turned into someone completely different he hated even more than the pretty girl.

But at least he hadn't touch her. Only with his belt until she wore long pants and a pullover - even when it was hot summer outside.

"No..." her voice died away and suddenly a light was switched on. From one moment to the next he was gone. Simply gone. As if he had never been there. She felt how someone took her carefully into warm arms. But she wasn't afraid of that touch. It was gently and full of love.

_Love? No one had ever loved me._

Her eyes were full of tears and she saw a blurred face as she raised her head. Again there was her angel. Stroking in a calming gesture through her blond stands, whispering comforting words. She didn't understand them, but she knew that they were lovely. They simply sounded so soft.

"Where have you been all this time?" she whispered and sobbed even louder. "Where have you been, my angel?" She saw tears in deep blue eyes, as well, but still couldn't understand their meaning. She only felt those soft hands and the comforting embrace.

Then there was another shadow. But she wasn't afraid of him. Not when her angel was by her side. The shadow moved her arms and she wanted to scream out in pain. But somehow the shadow did something and the pain was gone within the next moment.

Again darkness surrounded her and she couldn't do anything else than letting herself fall. She knew that her angel would catch her. There was one last thought that flashed through her mind before she went back into the cold night.

"Don't leave me again, angel..."

She didn't even notice that she did say it aloud.

dbdbdb

"Shall I call the school and tell them that you're ill?" Dr. Tomoe stroked carefully over his niece's hair and looked into tired, red eyes. Michiru had cried a lot during the last night and she had looked more and more shocked after each feverish nightmare the tall girl went through.

Then the fever increased more and more. At that moment, Dr. Tomoe had decided to give the blonde some more pain killers. Two injections and she could finally sleep deep and tight. Still, she had high fever, but it wasn't dangerous any longer.

Michiru raised her head and looked out of the window. It was almost dawn.

_Strange, how many hours have passed since I've found her on the staircase?_

"No, today's the concert. I can't miss it." Michiru looked again at Haruka and shivered as she remembered the desperately whimpered words.

_Are they true?_

She thought of the laughing girl she had once seen on Yakoto's picture. Then she thought of Mila and all the other pupils who had only laughed at the tall girl. At the dyke. At the lesbian. Without knowing what they did to her. To a poor, hurt soul.

Slowly, a thought became more and more clear in Michiru's mind. Carefully, she rose and faced her uncle.

"Only this concert, uncle Tarô." She declared as she saw her uncle's concerned look. He was almost as tired as she was. But he was lucky, he could work at home if he wanted to, to do his research in his private lab in the cellar.

"Okay, but after that I'll call your headmaster and you'll stay in bed, too. You don't look very healthy to me, Michi."

Michi... that's how she's called me, too...

"Are you..."

"Hai, I am here to take care of her, Michi. Don't worry."

dbdbdb

The phone rang three times, then someone answered it.

"Takada-san? Konnichi wa, here's Kaioh Michiru."

"Please, Takada-san, can you do me a favour?"

"Arigato, Takada-san. You're a real friend."

Ten minutes later the phone went silent again.

dbdbdb

"Michiru! At last! We've already feared you wouldn't come!" Yakoto frowned as she saw into the tired face of the popular violinist. She frowned even more as she saw the guy who followed her. He had long black hair and looked a lot older than the sea green haired girl.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"Takada-san. He wants to hear my song." Smiled Michiru and wrapped herself deeper into her white coat. She already wore her micro on her clothes and she knew that Takada-san would do everything to get it to work.

"Well, however, all are out there. We've already played the waltz and we all have been very concerned about you. That you wouldn't come at all." Yakoto frowned again and swallowed hard. "Are you ill, Michiru?" she asked in concern and Michiru took a deep breath.

_Why do you ask me that, stupid! Why haven't you ever asked Haruka?_

"I guess I caught the flu. That's why I've missed school this morning. But I thought that I couldn't let you down – that's why I am late. I've been to the doctor before." She smiled friendly and put her violin case down. "Our _master_ can start with his speech, just gimme five seconds to get my violin ready."

Yakoto nodded.

"You're so nice, Michiru. You even come to play for us when you're feeling ill." She turned around and ran out to the stage.

_You'll hate me when all this is over. _

Michiru took a deep breath and looked briefly over to Takada-san. Then she nodded and he disappeared somewhere in the backstage area.

_And I hope you'll hate yourself, as well._

Again she took a deep breath, stripped her coat and stepped out through the curtain on the stage as the conductor said her name.

For a moment there was dead silence. Then the audience became even quieter if that was possible. A lot of pale faces stared at her in obvious shock. At the strange uniform she wore.

It was different from the ones the boys wore. The short white shirt wasn't put into the long pants. The sleeves of the jacket were ripped off and now it looked more like a waist coat.

Right now, she looked wild. Untouchable. Unreachable.

Just like the person who normally wore this uniform. It was too long for Michiru and the pants covered her shoes completely. But that wasn't the detail that shocked them so much. Not even that Michiru had hold her hair together in a plaid so that she looked like a boy. The fact that shocked them to almost to death was the blood that covered the uniform all over. Dried, dark blood, but certainly human blood.

Michiru raised her violin to her left shoulder and looked directly into pale, shocked faces. No one said a word. No one held her back. No one pushed her off the stage.

"This song is for the most important person in my life." Whispered Michiru but through the micro they all could hear her words. She turned around and gave Tukasa-san a sign. Some seconds later the music started. The whole afternoon he and his band had recorded a tape. There were all instruments in it: Electrical guitars and drums. Only the violin was missing. And a soft voice.

Michiru turned again towards the audience and started to sing in a voice that wasn't very soft any longer. Now it was full of anger. And disbelieve.

_"I'm gonna find another sky_

_I wanna go where no one else will go_

_But I hear another voice telling me to stay_

_I'm looking for another sky_

_I'm so tired I can find no sleep_

_I can hear another voice telling me to go_

_Find yourself another sky_

_Move your bottom_

_Stop to cry_

_Find yourself another sky_

_You gotta ride before you fall_

_Find another sky_

_I start to breathe_

_Under another sky_

_My sky"_

They had to find another sky. For themselves. To find new strength and to carry on. Finally to live a life that hadn't been worth living during the past weeks. Michiru swallowed hard as she thought of her best friend lying so fragile in her huge bed. Gasping hard for breath.

_Or for the past years..._

Haruka had wanted to find another sky. But she simply couldn't move away. There was no one calling for her, but she simply didn't have the possibilities she had had after her parent's death.

_Oh, Ruka..._

_"I don't wanna change my face_

_So I change the life I used to live_

_I'd rather be a smaller fish in a bigger pond_

_We talked and talked so many times_

_To move away and leave it all behind_

_I don't wanna sit and wait_

_I feel it's time to go"_

No, Haruka wasn't the one who should change her mind. She was the way she was. Although Michiru wished to see her happier. To see her laughing more often.

Haruka wasn't the person who was wrong. The others were. All those people who had called her a lesbian and had hated her for being herself. Who had thought that it was a sin to look like a boy, to fell in love with another girl. Simply to try to survive.

_None of them has noticed how much she had to suffer!_

Michiru swallowed hard and her voice became even more aggressive. Louder with every single word she sung. Her bow danced with all her rage over the strings and her instrument sounded threatening over the drums and the guitars.

_"Find yourself another sky_

_Move your bottom_

_Stop to cry_

_Find yourself another sky_

_You gotta ride before you fall_

_Find another sky_

_And my fear is all I fear_

_And my fear is all."_

She took a deep breath as the last note screamed away. She put the bow down and looked for a long time into the audience. Several white faces stared back at her. With opened mouths and big eyes.

_And my fear is all I fear._

Michiru swallowed hard as she thought of how Haruka's nightmares had become worse and worse. How she had tried to beat around herself until they had no chance than to tie her to the bed, so that her wound wouldn't break up again. How Haruka had stared in her fever at someone only she could see - and she had obviously been very frightened of that person. How the tall girl had whimpered and even screamed in pain and fear. How she had broken down, sobbing whenever Michiru had been able to bring her back into reality and to hold her right.

_She's called me her angel..._

Her angel who should never leave her again.

Michiru swallowed hard and slowly lowered her hands - still holding the violin.

"You all let her suffer." She whispered, but the micro carried the words through the big hall. Michiru didn't see the journalists' cameras, nor did she see the major and the council, all very pale and very, very shocked. "I am ashamed of all of you!"

With those words she ripped the micro from her, no, from Haruka's shirt and jumped off the stage. Still, no one reacted. Still, no one whispered. Still, no one seemed to breathe.

Michiru went straight to a tall boy sitting in the first row. She leaned over him and grabbed his collar, hard. Her deep blue eyes sparkled with hate and suddenly she looked like a goddess. A goddess of revenge.

"If you ever touch her again, I'll kill you."

Masanori gulped, because he suddenly knew that she meant her words. He turned his head slightly - just like the other people, too - and watched how the sea green haired girl left the huge hall. And this school.

Probably forever.

dbdbdb

She sat there on the edge of the bed and held a sweaty hand tenderly in her own one. She knew that the blonde wouldn't awake during the next hours. Her uncle had given her another injection just ten minutes ago.

Michiru smiled sadly at her Haruka and stroke carefully over the sweaty skin.

"Don't give up, Ruka." She whispered and smiled a sad but loving smile.

"Because here's the place where you belong."

dbdbdb


	6. Chapter 5: Have a little faith

**Chapter five: Have a little faith**

Somewhere a door opened. Slowly, silently. Carefully.

"How's she feeling?" asked a tender voice she knew. From somewhere. However, she couldn't remember. Not yet. Not while her head was aching so much. Not while her whole body was on fire.

"Better. Her fever has gone down a bit and her shoulder looks fine, Michi." Answered another voice. A lower one. It reminded her of her father.

_Did I ever have a father?_

Still, her mind was so dizzy. She could hardly remember anything. Except that the low voice had told her fairy tales. Each time she returned from her dark world it had read another story. Sometimes there had been a higher voice, maybe a child's voice, there, as well. It had corrected the papa's voice whenever it said something wrong about brave princes and beautiful princesses. And ugly dragons. And old castles.

"How was your concert?"

"Fine."

Someone came nearer and she felt how this person sat down on the bed. Next to her. Soft fingers stroked carefully through her short blond hair

"Hope they will think it over - and regret their ignorant behaviour!" Now the tender voice was angry, although she didn't know why. There was a sad laughter and again she asked herself silently if her father was by her side. But somehow she had the strange feeling that her father would have never been so nice. So concerned.

"Good. And now take a shower and get yourself warm clothes, Michi. And throw those old clothes away. I'm sure we'll find something nicer that fits."

_Michi._

She knew that name. From somewhere. But somehow she couldn't remember this fact, as well.

_What's my name?_

She wanted to frown but she was too tired to. Again she felt soft hands stroking her hair and again she wished that the person would never stop doing that.

"Guess you're right." The tender person rose suddenly the bed felt cold. Cold and empty. "Arigato for taking care of her."

"No problem, Michi. You know, you belong to my family. And close friends of you belong to it, too." She could almost see the soft smile in an older, wiser face. Knowing face.

"She's a close friend, isn't she, Michi?"

"Hai..."

_A close friend?_

But before she could find an answer she returned back into the darkness.

dbdbdb

"Ruka?"

Haruka felt soft hands stroking over her burning cheeks. She turned her head a bit and winced as the pain flashed through her head. However, it wasn't as worse as the last time she had been awake. She had been alone in a room she already knew. Michiru's room. The door to the bathroom wasn't closed and Haruka had heard the water running, a high voice humming a sweet melody.

"Ruka?"

The tall girl opened her eyes and looked into a smiling face. Now Michiru wasn't under the shower any longer. Now she sat next to the huge bed. Still stroking so tenderly over her cheeks.

"I just want to give you your medicine. You've had enough injections the past days that uncle Tarô told me to wake you up."

_Past days?_

Haruka blinked and turned her head towards the window. The curtains were open, but it was night outside. There was no snow storm anymore and only some clouds covered the moon.

_Past days?_

The tall girl observed the room, saw the medicine lying on a desk, saw all the books lying on the ground, saw all the CDs lying on a chair.

_Past days?_

Haruka's eyes grew wide as she saw the drip that was still connected to her left arm.

"What happened?" she asked and wondered why her voice was so hoarse. Her throat was sore and she wasn't sure if she had the power to get up. Nevertheless, she had to try.

"Don't move, Ruka." Michiru held her back and pushed her gently her back into so soft and so warm blankets Haruka didn't know from her room.

"You had high fever and bad nightmares. You couldn't eat anything so we decided to feed you over the drip." Michiru's smile grew wider and suddenly tears sparkled in her deep blue eyes. "You had very high fever over the past three days, Ruka. You had a real bad flu and we almost feared that you had a pneumonia." Michiru shook her head and two tears ran over her cheeks. "Hell, Ruka! Don't you ever dare to terrify like that again. I've feared I would lose you, too." The sea beauty stroked again over still warm cheeks. "I don't want to live without you, Ruka. Don't you know?"

_I don't want to live without you..._

Haruka blinked. Still confused. Still not knowing what had happened.

_I lost the race at school._

The tall girl frowned and her memories came back. Part by part. Very, very slowly.

_I was on the street and it started to snow._

"I sat down on your steps, because I was too tired to go." She whispered and remembered two cats who jumped over her when a door was opened. In the middle of the night. To feed them.

"Hai." Michiru sighed deeply. "Why didn't you just ring the bell? Did you think that I'd close the door again?"

Haruka looked deeply into blue eyes, then she closed her eyes again and turned her head away.

"You weren't at the race and you didn't wait for me at the school's hall. I thought... I thought you wouldn't like me any more."

"I've practised until eight in the evening. I wasn't able to see you. My conductor was simply not satisfied with my violin play."

_Eight in the evening? But I left school at six..._

"Why shouldn't I like you any longer?" Michiru smiled tenderly as Haruka opened her eyes again. But still she looked at the ceiling, not at her.

"Because... because I shouldn't have kissed you!"

_Now it was out._

There was a soft giggle and now Haruka dared to risk a look over to the smaller girl. Stared at a laughing Michiru in disbelieve.

"I do remember that I was the one kissing you." She smiled and leaned closer to Haruka. Now her face was serious again. "I told you that you're my best friend and I thought that you already knew that you were something special for me."

Haruka only stared at her. She simply didn't know what to say. How to react. And as she tried to move the pain increased inside her shoulder and she knew that she couldn't do anything right now than lying in this bed and let the future happen. To give in her personal destiny.

_Are all her nightmares real?_

Michiru swallowed hard and stroked some wet strands out of a still redden face. The fever wasn't gone yet, it only went down a bit. But her uncle had looked a lot more relaxed at the tall girl when he came once an hour to check on her state of body. And Michiru didn't live any longer in the steady fear that Haruka would die. Right under her hands. Without giving her a chance to help her. To listen to her. To love her.

"Maybe you didn't believe me when I told you that I was your best friend." Quickly, Michiru leaned closer to Haruka and kissed her shortly, but tenderly on her lips. Warm lips. Soft lips.

_Nani?_

"Would you believe me when I told you that I love you?"

_Love you..._

No one had ever told her that she was loved. Her father had hated her and her mother had only liked the cute little girl, but not her real I. Not the wild tomboy she finally became. Her class mates shouted at her and no teacher really cared about her. She had bad grades, she simply didn't learn for tests and she was helplessly lazy.

_Love you..._

_Does she mean it?_

As Haruka looked again into deep blue eyes, which remembered her so much of the wild, endless ocean, she knew the answer.

_I love you, too_.

She wanted so badly to say it. To scream it out loud. But her throat was dry and she simply couldn't answer. She felt how tears filled her eyes, but she didn't want to cry. To show her damn weakness to anyone - not even to Michiru who meant everything to her. Therefore, she tried to turn away. To pull the soft blanket over her head. But her body wouldn't obey her. Pain flashed through her shoulder and forced her to stay where she was.

More and more tears filled her eyes and soon she felt them wet her cheeks.

_I am not a stupid, little girl._

She swallowed hard and wanted to get up. To run away. To hide herself somewhere.

I _am not a weak woman!_

"Hush, Ruka. It's okay." Michiru crept next to her on the wide bed and embraced her carefully. She didn't want to touch the bandaged shoulder nor the arm that was still connected to the drip. But she wanted to hold her Ruka tight. Determinedly tight. And she wanted never to let her go again.

"It's okay, Ruka. You comforted me all this time, so let me be the one to comfort you." She whispered and kissed tenderly salty tears away. They were replaced by new ones.

"Just have a little faith in me, Ruka. I'd never hurt you." She pulled a trembling Haruka carefully closer to herself and felt how the tall girl embraced her in return. Maybe weakly, but as determinedly as she.

_I want to tell her everything. I want so badly to tell her the truth about my past._

"There's so much you don't know..." she whispered instead and leaned her head against Michiru's shoulder and there were again those soft hands stroking so calmingly through her short blond hair.

"If you want to tell me, I'd listen to you." Answered Michiru and kissed Haruka's sweaty forehead. "Don't worry, I won't be shocked."

_Haruka nodded and held her silently tighter._

dbdbdb

_I don't like where Ruka lives!_

Michiru raised her head and looked up to the grey sky above. Again she heard her niece's voice in her mind. Again and again. Until she had searched Haruka's schoolbag for her identity card and for her address. She'd found two.

Maybe her parents are divorced and she lives for during the weekend with her father and during the week with her mother.

Michiru swallowed hard as she was again reminded of those terrible nightmares. Feverish nightmares. But nevertheless they had seemed to be so real...

I have to go upstairs to tell them that their daughter is fine. That she's with me and that she'll be well again in about a week.

Michiru took a deep breath and opened the heavy entrance door. It was dark in the corridor; the light didn't work. There was some graffiti on the grey walls and the ground was dirty.

_Not the noblest region where she lives._

Michiru glanced again at her note and searched for Haruka's name on the doors.

_No wonder she always felt so uncomfortable whenever we went to the expensive Italian restaurant._

It was the last door of a long corridor and Michiru took again a deep breath before she rang the bell.

I simply didn't think it over. Guess I hurt her a lot with my ignorant behaviour. To give so much tip and to buy all those stupid clothes for myself. Summer clothes I really don't need during winter. She must have felt guilty, because she couldn't afford anything for herself.

Nothing happened. Again she pushed the button, but there was no still ringing. Obviously, the bell didn't work. So she knocked on the door. It was an old door. And it wasn't locked.

"Hello?" Michiru opened the door slowly and entered the twilight behind. "Is anyone there? Tenô-san?" The sea beauty gasped hard for breath and searched in her handbag for a handkerchief as she smelled the beastly stench.

"Hello?" She pressed the handkerchief before her nose and tried to get some fresh air through her mouth. But there was no fresh air in this small, sticky room. Michiru searched for the switcher and as she finally switched on the light she stepped back and shook her head in disbelieve. There was something in the corner. It was a small, brown body. The grey carpet was covered with dry blood around the body and some flies flew around it.

_What the hell is that?_

Maybe she took the wrong flat? Maybe that wasn't Haruka's home? Maybe that wasn't the right house? Maybe...

She retched and tried not to throw up her breakfast as she suddenly thought of a photo she had found in Haruka's schoolbag. It showed her with a small puppy in her arms. With such a loving expression on her face Michiru had only seen once - when Hotaru had jumped laughingly in the wild tomboy's arms..

Haruka had hold the small puppy towards the camera and had looked very proud. And happy.

_It had been a brown pup._

Michiru swallowed hard and shook her head. But still she had to stare at the stinking body. Still, she couldn't turn away. Still, she couldn't scream. All she cold do was whimper. And wince wildly as a door opposite to her was pushed open.

"If it's you, Haruka, go away! I won't tell you again!" The voice was full of hate and it sounded angry. Very angry.

"Tenô-san?" asked Michiru and tried to get over to the entrance door. To open it again. To escape this strange flat. And the obviously dead drunk woman. She only wore an apron and held a half empty bottle in her left hand. Michiru could smell the alcohol and the beer in the air and she felt sicker with every second.

"Oh, you aren't Haruka." Said the woman and put her hand into the apron's pocket. "Who are you?"

"I am Kaioh Michiru, Haruka's best friend. And you must be her mother."

Hell, how could she live in such a dirty, ugly flat all this time?

"Best friend? You're her new whore, aren't you? I've always thought that she's not normal, that she'd prefer girls instead of boys. It was clear by the way she looked." The woman reeled slightly and spat on the grey carpet. "And I am not her mother! Not any longer! I refuse to be the mother of such an ungrateful, stupid dyke! Of such a bloody lesbian!"

Hell, how did she live with such a hating, ignorant mother all this time?

"So, what do you want here?"

Michiru blinked as she heard the rude voice. As she looked into sparkling dark eyes. Sparkling with hate and disgust. And anger.

_Why has she never told me about this chaos? About her hard life?_

"Don't you tell me that she wants money! She's got all we've earned when she was younger, but she forced my husband to leave us - because he didn't want her any longer. So he left me and I had to raise her the last years alone! But now she's old enough to take care of herself!"

The old woman raised the bottle and took some deep gulps. Beer ran down her chin and over her old, dirty apron. She belched and Michiru asked herself when the woman had taken her last shower.

_Guess Ruka had been too ashamed of her wrecked family to tell me. No wonder, I would have been ashamed, too._

"Ruka's..."

"Ruka? What an ugly nickname. But it fits to her, she's ugly, too!"

_This must be a nightmare!_

But Michiru knew it wasn't.

"Your daughter had a high fever and she's now with me at my uncle's house. She's already feeling better, so there's no reason to be worried and..."

"Why should I be worried about that dyke? I kicked her out about four months ago. And you should better go, too."

_She's been kicked out?_

Michiru blinked. Unable to move. Unable to turn around. Unable to run away.

_She doesn't live here any more? Where does she live, then?_

Michiru swallowed hard as she thought of the second address she had found on Haruka's identity card.

"I..."

"Get out, now! Or shall I punish you, too?" With those words the old woman raised her right hand. Michiru's eyes grew wide as she saw the gun in trembling hands. Pointing directly at her.

_Ruka's shoulder..._

"You shot at her?" Suddenly, Michiru's face was red and her blue eyes sparkled in never ending rage. "You dared to hurt my Ruka?" she screamed and moved so suddenly that the old woman couldn't react. With a determined motion she slapped the gun away. It landed on the ground, next to the killed puppy.

"You simply left your own child alone?" Michiru was so full of anger that she simply pushed the older woman, who was about her seize, against the dirty wall behind. Directly, she looked into a now pale face, could smell the alcohol and the sweat. The bottle fell somewhere down next to them.

"She's lived with that pain for the last four months and you didn't care what has happened to her? Hell, she's sixteen! She's too young to live without her family." Michiru screamed at her, ragingly, and shook the old woman with all her desperate powers. "No one should be that bloody alone. Do you know what you've done to her?"

"She's the reason why my husband left me!" cried the old woman and tried to free herself, but Michiru was stronger than she. Angrier. More desperate.

"Look at yourself, Tenô-san! Look into the mirror and tell yourself your own lies. I don't believe you!"

"Get out!" it was nothing more than a whisper and Michiru swallowed hard. Slowly, she let go of the now openly crying, old woman who didn't have anything left in her whole life.

"Take the few things you want to have. Her room was over there. Take them and go! But leave me in peace. At last, leave me all in peace!"

Michiru swallowed hard again and looked briefly at the dead puppy and the gun and then at the dead drunken woman.

"Why did you let your daughter become what she is?"

"A lesbian? I..."

"No, not a lesbian, but such a hurt soul."

Michiru shook her head. Again she saw the sad expression in dark green eyes as she had washed blond strands. Again she saw all the love in them as a little girl had simply said that she was her friend. Again she saw a whimpering Haruka trying desperately to escape her feverish nightmares. To escape her rude father. To escape her ignorant mother. To escape her bloody life.

"No, not a lesbian, but a silent person who isn't able to trust anyone."

"That's all her fault! I always wanted a lovely girl and a nice husband. A nice family."

Michiru watched how the old woman went on her knees to drink the rest of the beer that hadn't been spilled on the grey carpet.

"That's all what she wants, too: A nice family." The sea beauty saw again the bloodstained shoulder, saw again how her uncle had to stitch it, saw again how he had to put a drip into her too skinny arm.

"But you obviously didn't want her."

"No!" The old woman laughed a wicked laugh that made Michiru shiver. "She's a dyke. A bloody lesbian. No one wants a daughter like that."

_My mother loved me the way I am. Just like my father did._

Michiru took a deep breath. Again she heard her mother's teasing words whenever a beautiful girl passed by and her father had always laughed when she had to blush deeply.

_They would have loved Ruka._

Her parents had never cared of the money a person had. They had only cared for his or her soul. For their hearts. For their thoughts.

"Don't worry, Tenô-san. I will never return again, nor will Ruka..."

"I hope it! I am fed up with her! She shall never come back - otherwise I'll kill her!"

Michiru looked briefly at the gun on the grey carpet and slowly nodded her head.

_She'd really kill her._

"Don't worry, Tenô-san. Ruka isn't part of your family any longer." Michiru bowed slightly and stepped some steps back as the old woman tried to get up. But she couldn't control her body any longer and therefore went back on her knees. Then she searched in her pockets for a cigarette. She lit it and took a deep breath. The smoke let Michiru feel even sicker and slowly she opened the door behind her back. Not taking her eyes off the woman who used to have been her girlfriend's mother.

"Ruka is now part of my family. Forever."

As she closed the down behind herself she could hear a loud noise. Like glass exploding. But she ignored it. She only turned around and ran as fast as she could.

dbdbdb

This house was even dirtier and even darker and even older than the one she had visited only half an hour before. It was late afternoon and a strange twilight filled the dirty corridors. There were injections on the ground and old joints. And some people Michiru tried to step over very quickly. They were unconscious or simply dead drunk. Some seemed to have thrown up their last meal and so the whole corridor stank.

_How can she live in this hell?_

Michiru shook her head and looked at the numbers on the doors. She had to go up to the third floor until she found it. It had taken her an eternity and now she felt frightened.

_Why didn't I tell uncle Tarô where I was going?_

She only told him that she wanted to get some things from school for Haruka and he said that he would take of Haruka who felt better with every day. And that Hotaru would like to play her best friend's nurse.

_This isn't the best place for girls like me._

Michiru stood in front of the door and looked at the key in her hands.

_This isn't the best place for girls like Ruka, either._

She turned it around and frowned as the door blocked. She tried it again and again until she saw the big lock.

_This isn't the best place for any girls at all._

"Are you her friend?" asked suddenly a high voice behind her. Michiru winced wildly and turned around. Behind her stood a woman of maybe twenty five years. There was a guy by her side - he looked drunk, too. And dirty. And greedy. He grabbed for the woman's breasts, but she only pushed him away.

"Hai... I wanted to get her things."

"So, she finally moves away? Incredible that she made it all this time." The young woman shook her head as she saw the lock. "She hasn't paid her rent. That's what they always do when you don't pay your rent."

"Rent?"

"Hai, for you it's maybe not much but for us it's a fortune."

_Us?_

Michiru frowned as the young woman giggled and whispered something to the guy next to her. He only nodded and stepped towards the door. With one determined kick the lock broke and the door slammed against the wall.

"So, it's open. Take her things and go, beauty. This isn't where you belong." The young woman smiled sadly and observed her expensive coat and her warm shoes.

"How much rent does she have to pay?"

"Ten thousand yen per month." Answered the young woman and was pulled away from her boyfriend. She laughed and they both disappeared around the corner.

_Ten thousand yen..._

Michiru swallowed hard as she slowly entered the room. It was very small and it didn't even seem to have a private bathroom. There was no TV, not even a radio. Only two wall sockets and one lamp on the ceiling. That was the whole luxury.

_Ten thousand yen..._

That was the price she once had paid for her white coat. Not very much as she had thought. But for Ruka it would seemed to have been a fortune. Thousand yen... to have or not to have. The answer decided over Haruka's life.

_Last week she didn't have the money._

Michiru looked at the small bed in the corner, right next to a small window. The blankets looked crumbled and old. The white sheet was covered with dry blood and there were some used bandages on the ground.

_She's had the wound for over four months now..._

Michiru shivered and wrapped her arms automatically around her waist.

_Surely it had been a lot of pain._

There was a walkman on the sill and as she pushed the button she heard soft violin music in the headphones.

_She listened to the cassette I gave her..._

Michiru turned around and saw an old teddy bear lying silently on the old pillow. His right eye was missing and he was dirty, too. But the sea beauty suddenly knew that it was very important to her girlfriend.

_Everyone needs a friend when one's in need._

However, Haruka had had no friends. Over the past two years all pupils at school had avoided her. So there was nothing else left than a toy. A toy that would listen. That could comfort. Yet, it couldn't answer and find any solutions.

"My goodness..." whispered Michiru as she saw the only picture on the walls. The wallpaper was grey and seemed to be from the times when the house had been built. That had been over fifty years ago.

Tears sparkled in blue eyes as she saw the sketch of a candle. Of a single candle burning in an endless night. In a dark night. In a deep night.

_She kept my picture._

Michiru sat down on the bed and stared at the picture. It was carefully pinned on the wall. Right over the pillow. So that the person who was in bed could stare at it all night.

_I didn't realize that it meant so much to her._

Michiru took a deep breath and opened the small cupboard next to the old bed. There were some folders and some old books Haruka needed for school, as well as some old newspapers. Some part time jobs were underlined and Michiru suddenly knew that it had been very hard for Haruka to find a new job after she had been kicked out, because she had slept almost all night on Michiru's couch instead of being around delivering pizza.

_Why didn't she tell me that she needed the money so badly?_

Again Michiru heard her uncle's words. That Haruka hadn't known her long and good enough to trust her. That she wouldn't have begged for help - and especially not for money. That the tall girl simply needed her time to have faith again. Simply to trust anyone else again.

_To trust me..._

Carefully, Michiru pulled out the books and the folders and found another small book in the shadow of the corner. She frowned as she opened it. It wasn't a schoolbook nor was it a novel. After Michiru read the first few lines she knew what she held in her hands.

I _shouldn't read it. It's her diary._

Michiru bit on her lower lip and just browsed through the pages. There was quite a neat handwriting at first. Written with a fountain pen. But the longer the diary did last, the uglier and unreadable became the writing. Then it was written with a ball-pen. The first registration had been three years ago, the last one the evening before the race. The evening after the winter's ball.

Michiru swallowed hard but couldn't resist to read the last page. Her eyes grew wide and as she finally closed the book again, tears running down over her pale cheeks.

dbdbdb

"She's awake now." Hotaru flew into her aunt's arms and squeezed her tenderly. "Daddy and I want to go shopping!" she declared and reached for her thick, black jacket.

"Our fridge is almost empty. We have to get something to eat." Her uncle looked concerned at her. "Can I leave you alone?" he asked while he helped his daughter with her long scarf.

"Of course."

"We'll be back as soon as possible. Then I'll make us a proper meal and Haruka a warm broth. She has to start to eat something."

Michiru nodded and held her bag tighter. It contained all of Haruka's things. It was terribly light in her hands.

"If anything's wrong, just call me. I'll be back the next second." Her uncle put his cell phone in his pocket and helped Hotaru with her gloves.

"And we need a new fairy tale book. You've already read all fairy tales to Ruka." Declared Hotaru and put her backpack on. It looked like a small bunny. With long ears and a big grin on its face.

"Hai, we need one, darling." Laughed Dr. Tomoe and took his daughter in his arms.

"See ya later!" shouted Hotaru and waved her arms happily. The next moment the door closed again and Michiru heard the engine of their car.

_Arigato..._

Michiru swallowed hard. The last evening when Haruka had already slept, her uncle had talked very seriously to her. He had wanted to know who Haruka really was. As long as she had been too sick he had been too concerned to think much about anything else than helping her, healing her. But then when she had started to feel better he couldn't help but wonder. Michiru simply told him that Haruka was her girlfriend and that she loved her very much. Her uncle had looked at her for a long time in silence. Then he had rose from his chair, had come over to her and had taken her softly in his arms. He had only said one sentence, but it had showed her how much he cared for her. How much he loved his sister's daughter. How much she already belonged into his family.

_As long as you're happy, I am happy, too, Michi._

_Arigato, uncle Tarô._

Michiru took off her dirty shoes and put on her slippers. Then she walked directly over to her room that wasn't as empty as it had been just a few weeks before.

Haruka sat on the bed and looked at the pictures on the walls. They had all been drawn by Michiru. Wide oceans, deep forests, endless skies. Soft violin music filled the room and the tall girl held the remote control in her hands. Still she wore the pyjamas Dr. Tomoe had given to her. They were a little bit too long but that didn't matter.

_She looks so cute._

The blond mop was messed and the crumbled blanket covered her legs. Nevertheless, her barefooted feet looked out from under the cover.

"Hi, Ruka. Are you feeling better?" Michiru asked and brought Haruka back into reality. A bright smile appeared on the still pale face as the tall girl saw her girlfriend.

"Look, Michi, your uncle took away the drip and this evening he wants to make me some roth." Haruka raised the remote control and the violin music became softer. "And where have you been? I've missed you." The last words were so silent that Michiru was sure that it hadn't been easily for the tall girl to say them aloud.

_How will she react?_

Michiru took a deep breath and sat down next to her girlfriend. She gave her a tender kiss and felt how she blushed slightly. Then she opened her bag and put a heavy book out. It was a photo album and Haruka recognized it immediately.

"This..." she shook her head and her hands trembled suddenly as she took it. Slowly, she opened it and looked down at a little baby. The photo was taken in black and white but Michiru was suddenly sure that the little girl had blond hair and looked at the observer with sparkling green eyes.

"This is me, Michi. I was only six months when they took this pic." Whispered Haruka and raised the album so that Michiru could see it, too. She didn't dare to say that she had already looked at all those pictures. At the innocent early ones - and at the sad later ones.

"You were a cute child, Ruka."

"Well, my mother wouldn't agree."

Michiru crept a little bit nearer to her girlfriend and embraced her carefully. "I know." She whispered and leaned her head against Haruka's healthy shoulder. Then she looked again at the photo on the tall girl's lap.

"You've been there?"

_What the hell did she see?_

But whatever the smaller girl had experienced, she didn't seem to love her less.

"Hai... I..." Michiru swallowed hard and held her Ruka little bit tighter. "I declared that you now belong to me and that she doesn't have to take care of you any longer."

Dark green eyes looked for a long time thoughtfully in deep blue ones. Then Haruka leaned forward and kissed her with all her desperation. With all her deep feelings she couldn't voice into words. Michiru understood her without many words.

"Ouch..." Haruka winced as Michiru touched her hurt shoulder.

"Gomen." The smaller girl let go but still leaned against Haruka's healthy arm and felt how Haruka sighed deeply.

"Does she still have the gun?"

"Hai..." Michiru smiled sadly. "She shot at you, didn't she? My uncle went almost insane when he saw your shoulder. He doesn't know where your mother lives - if he would, he'd jail her. He was so angry, because he saw that the wound was older than just a couple of days." Michiru shook her head and watched how Haruka turned some pages. There were other pictures of a little girl. Of three, of four, of five years. In a small dress. With shoulder long blond hair and a happy smile on her face.

"And I was angry, too. Why didn't you tell me, Ruka? Why didn't you want me to help you?"

For a long time there was silence between them while Haruka turned more and more pages. There was only the soft violin music in the room - and black and white pictures that reminded the tall girl at so many times she hadn't wanted to be that little girl any longer.

"That's me when I was fourteen, Michi." Said Haruka finally and took a deep breath.

_I can trust her. Completely._

"I always did a lot of sport and I guess my body needed simply a little bit longer to become more female while growing up. It was a great spring and a hot summer and Yakoto and I bought those crazy summer dresses and went to the hairdresser to get a pram." Haruka giggled, but it sounded very sad. "It took me all of my pocket money but I was proud of myself. All my friends at school told me that I was beautiful and I felt a little bit more like them. Like all the rich and happy girls. They liked me a lot when I was fourteen. My father liked me even more..."

Michiru bit on her lower lip and raised her head. But there were no tears in dark green eyes. Only hate and anger while she stared determinedly down on the black and white photo.

_Ask her!_

The sea beauty swallowed hard and searched for the right words.

_Ask her! She's your girlfriend! You already know the answer!_

"Did he... did he hurt you?"

Haruka blinked before she turned the page. There was another picture of a cute girl wearing a narrow dress. A tall man stood right behind her; he had put his hands on her shoulders.

"You mean, rape?"

Still Michiru couldn't see any feeling in Haruka's face. It was empty. Insensible. Unreachable.

The smaller girl raised her hand and stroked carefully through blond strands.

"No, he didn't." answered Haruka in such a cold voice that Michiru wasn't sure if she should be relieved or even more afraid. After the terrible nightmares she had asked herself many times if she'd be able to live with the knowledge that her own father had hurt Haruka. If she'd be able to be there for her Ruka, to comfort her the way she needed to be comforted. If those wounds would ever heal again. But she knew whatever happened, she'd be there for her.

"Well, he tried it once. It was in the middle of the night." Again she turned the page and there were again other pictures. Some of them showed Yakoto who had had the same hair style and the same dress as Haruka. They looked like really good friends.

_But she left her all alone, too..._

"Normally, he took his belt after he had punished my mother as he called it. To punish me, too. That I'd taken his future. That I'd taken all his money and his dreams away. At first, I had tried to defend myself, but it was senseless. He was taller and stronger than I with eight years when it all began. I was fourteen when he undressed himself and came into my bed." Haruka stroked carefully over the picture of a laughing girl that used to have been herself.

"I wanted to escape but he was stronger. He wanted to take me and not even my mother nor the neighbours wanted to help me, although I screamed like hell." She sighed deeply and felt how Michiru embraced her tenderly. To be there for her. To be always there.

"I don't know how much he drunk that evening. It must have been too much, because he was dead drunk. Before he could really do anything he fell asleep. Right on top of me. It wasn't very... very nice."

_Nice. Surely she wants to use other words to describe him._

However, even Michiru couldn't find better ones. She couldn't find any words at all. Therefore, she held her girlfriend simply tighter and felt how the taller girl trembled slightly.

"He didn't want me, Michi. He only wanted a cute, weak girl. So I went to the hairdresser again the next day and cut my hair as short as possible. I bought some old trousers and since that day I started to wear very narrow sport bras." Haruka turned the page again and now Michiru saw a picture of the Ruka she knew and loved. Only that she looked like a trapped animal on that picture.

_All those pupils had been so blind. She went through hell. But instead of helping her they all ignored her and made her life even worse..._

"He didn't like the way I looked and so he returned to his belt punishment. Until he left my mother over one year ago..."

"And she thought that it was your fault and kicked you out."

Haruka sighed deeply.

"She shouted at you, too." It wasn't a question.

"Don't worry about me. Guess I almost broke her right arm." Shortly Michiru looked into startled green eyes. "I was so in anger, Ruka, that I forgot that she was dead drunk."

_Dead drunk. Again!_

Haruka felt how Michiru took her face into her face and gave her a long and tender kiss.

"It drove me crazy to know that someone hurt you. That your mother hurt you." Michiru gave her another short kiss and leaned her forehead against a sweaty one. "I don't want to see you hurt, Ruka."

dbdbdb

The water was pleasantly warm. Haruka closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the warm wet around her. It seemed to have been an eternity since the last time she took a shower and she couldn't remember ever having had such a nice warm bath. It was shortly before the supper. Dr. Tomoe had already prepared their meals and she was supposed take part at it, too. Suddenly, she had felt dirty in the pyjamas she had already worn for some days and had asked for a shower. Of course Michiru had looked sceptically at her and run her a hot bath instead.

"Is it okay this way?" She opened her eyes and they grew wide as she saw Michiru standing next to the big tub. The sea green haired girl didn't wear any clothes. Only a small towel that was wrapped around her waist. It fell to the ground, too, as Michiru stepped closer.

_She's so beautiful..._

Haruka only nodded and couldn't look away from deep blue eyes.

"May I join you?" giggled Michiru and leaned forward to give her girlfriend a tender kiss.

"If you want..." now Haruka had to grin and made place for Michiru who slipped behind her into the tub. She hadn't exaggerated when she had told her once in the school's swimming hall that their tub was almost as big as a normal swimming pool. That Hotaru always told her auntie that it had been made only for her.

"Of course I want." Michiru smiled and embraced her girlfriend. Haruka leaned her head against her chest and sighed happily.

"Enjoy it, Ruka, because next time I'll tickle you again." She held her a little bit tighter and buried her face in blond strands.

"This is nice." Whispered Haruka after a long time and closed her eyes. Michiru raised her head again and looked into a relaxed face. A thin smile was on soft lips she loved so much to kiss.

_She trusts me..._

Michiru swallowed hard and kissed softly Haruka's hair, her forehead and finally her nose. Haruka smiled and raised her head a little bit to get a kiss right on her lips. She didn't feel ashamed that she was naked in the water. As long as she was together with her Michi she knew that there was no reason to be ashamed. Not of her appearance. Not of her body. Not of her poverty.

_Finally she has faith in me. Even if it's just a little bit ..._

_I could stay this way forever._

Haruka relaxed again. Her right shoulder started again to hurt, but she ignored it. She knew that Dr. Tomoe took really good care for her wound and she simply didn't want to let this tender touch end. To leave this warm body next to her. Too much she feared that she would wake up and it all had been just a dream. A nice, but an quite unrealistic dream.

"Michi?"

"Hm?"

Haruka smiled as she heard how tired her girlfriend's voice was.

_Guess she hasn't slept a lot while I had such a high fever._

Still, she couldn't believe that anyone would stay awake all night just to control her temperature and to see that she kept breathing.

_She's someone special._

Haruka felt one hand stroking tenderly over her arms and shivered slightly.

_And I love her so much!_

"I've never had a real home, Michi." Whispered Haruka and asked herself when she would start to purr. The touch felt so damn good. Better than everything she had ever felt before in her life. "But here I feel like being home."

Michiru only smiled and kissed her again.

dbdbdb

"You've won."

"Yippiehhhh!" The little girl grinned happily and threw all her cards in the air. "I've won! I've won! I've won!" she screamed and jumped through the whole room while she stretched her small arms to the ceiling. Her face was redden and she looked like a wild tomboy now. Not like the ill girl she normally was.

_It's good for her to have Ruka around._

Michiru smiled while she collected the cards. Haruka sat on the living room's couch. She wore a training suit her uncle had bought for her before he came home yesterday. It was dark and had the right seize. And it was warm. Nevertheless, Haruka was also wrapped into a blanket and a hot steaming tea stood right before her on the table. Next to the cards that showed that she had lost again. All afternoon they had played different games and mostly Haruka lost. Michiru needed some games to understand that Haruka didn't want to win. That she was happier to see the little girl jumping around with joy. She didn't need to win to be happy, too.

"It's not so important to me." She whispered to Michiru while Hotaru ran to the kitchen to get an orange juice and an apple. "But Hime-chan's important to me."

Both looked a little bit tired as the girl put the cards away and brought a new game from her room. It was something about money and that they had to buy streets and to built hotels. Haruka didn't understand it completely and that was why she didn't understand why Hotaru wanted so badly those two blue streets. But she liked the red hotels. They looked cute and were so tiny.

Last night they had been awake and spoke about their pasts. And their futures. It had already been dawn when they finally fell asleep. Holding each other tight. Knowing that the other one would be part of that future, too, no matter what happened.

"Do you _really_ want this street?" asked Hotaru and looked pleadingly at Haruka with her big, dark eyes that told the tall girl that she shouldn't waste her money and Hotaru's hope of getting the green streets, as well.

"No, they're too expensive for me." She declared and smiled as Hotaru hurried on with the dice.

Michiru giggled while her pencil danced over the sketchbook on her lap. She used the chance to draw the people who meant the most in her life.

At that moment the bell rang.

"Daddy?" Hotaru frowned and looked at the clock hanging right over the couch. She was only five years old, but she could already read it. "It's too early." She decided, because her father never came home before six in the evening. Now it was only four in the afternoon.

"Keep playing, I'll go." Michiru put the sketchbook away and left the room. Some seconds later there were some other voices on the corridor and Haruka raised her head in surprise.

_Is there someone sobbing?_

She put her money and her streets aside and wanted to get up.

_Is Michi sobbing?_

Whoever was out there, she wouldn't let them hurt her Michiru.

But before she was able to leave the couch, four girls she knew very well stood in the middle of the living room. Two of them cried.

"I really don't know why you're crying!"

"But... but..."

"Okay, she cries. Maybe she has a reason. But you don't have to join her just for nothing, you baka!"

"Oh..." sobbed the smaller girl who had now a good reason for sobbing.

Haruka raised both eyebrows as they both showed each other their tongues. The tall girl had already seen them arguing before, and it always made her giggle. So did it this time.

"You see, now she's again laughing at you! You baka!"

"Oh, Rei..."

Michiru giggled, too, and showed Usagi and Rei two chairs to sit down. Rei held a small, wrapped box in her hands while Usagi had some chocolate. The package was crumbled and it looked as if the girl had tried to get to the chocolate without anyone noticing it.

"I can't believe that you've tried to steal the chocolate you've wanted to give away!" Rei rolled her eyes, but then she patted softly Usagi's trembling arm.

"But it's soooo delicious and Shingo already ate the other package."

"You're greedy, Usagi."

"Not more than you are!"

Again tongue showing.

Haruka raised her head and watched Michiru going to the kitchen to get some tea for their guests. At that moment she realized that Usagi and Rei weren't her only guests. There was also Elza who held a big bunch of flowers in her hands and smiled shakily down at her. And there was a sobbing Yakoto. A guilty looking Yakoto who obviously had more serious reasons of being sad than Usagi.

"Why don't you sit down, too? I'd like to give you a chair, but at the moment I am not so healthy." Apologized Haruka and stroked over Hime-chan's dark hair. The little girl decided that she already won the game and ran into the kitchen to help her aunt.

"Don't worry, we're strong enough to help ourselves." Said Elza, put the big bunch of flowers on the table and dragged two chairs to the table. Then she sat down and forced a still sobbing Yakoto to do the same.

"Hope you're feeling better now, Haruka. First the teachers didn't want to say why you hadn't come to school, but after Michiru missed, too, we were pretty sure that you've been ill." Elza shrugged her shoulders. "Gomen, Haruka. I've seen that you haven't felt so good, but I didn't tell the teachers. I overtook you so easily and I should have known that you've been very ill. Otherwise, I wouldn't have stand any chance against you." Now Elza grinned and reached into her bag. She pulled a golden medal out of it and threw it over to Haruka who caught it instinctively.

"Your gold medal?" asked the tall girl in surprise and shook her head. "No, Elza..."

"Oh, Haruka, just take it. It's yours. You're the best one in our team and I know that. I'm happy to have the silver medal." Again Elza shrugged her shoulders. "It's nothing worth, after all. Masanori was found guilty of doping; he took some pills he wasn't allowed to take so that they had to cancel the whole race. The whole competition. Now it snows too much and therefore they don't have a place to repeat it." Elza grinned openly. "Guess I'll get my second chance in spring to beat you or at least to reach the second place. Then that's the best place I can get."

Haruka turned the medal in her hands around and around and bit thoughtfully on her lower lip.

"So I am not kicked out?" before she could stop her thought she had already spoken it out out loud.

"No. Why should they? I don't know how you did it, but you've improved your marks. Even our English teacher said that you'll be able to do the final tests in spring with good results when you work as hard as you have done the past weeks." Now Elza giggled. "Don't look so terrified, Haruka. You'll never be as perfect as Mizuno Ami or as talented as Kaioh Michiru, but it's okay to get good marks to get by. Just like most of us have to do, too."

Michiru returned and put the four teas on the table. Then she sat down next to her girlfriend and took her niece on her lap.

"You look like a happy family." Said Usagi and they both had to blush a little bit.

"Hai, a happy family. "sighed Rei and handled Haruka her wrapped gift. "That means that they won't have such a baka like you."

"Oh Rei!"

Again more tongue showing.

Again more giggling from Elza.

Again more silent sobs from Yakoto.

"I liked the song you played. I mean for your last concert." Said Elza and looked at the two girls. Smiling knowingly.

"Hai, there was the TV and the radio at our school the next morning and wanted to talk to you - but you've been ill and so they interviewed the pupils and the headmaster. It was really exciting." Rei's cheeks were redden while she watched Haruka unwrapping her gift. Usagi held her chocolate still tight. She looked as if she was unsure if she should really give it away. After all, it was her most favourite chocolate.

"Guess you shocked them quite a lot." Laughed Elza. Then she became serious again. "Guess they needed this lessons. The pupils are sometimes too rude and the teacher only look away."

At that moment Yakoto couldn't hold back her tears any longer. She started openly to cry. Of course Usagi had to sob a little bit, too. And of course Rei blamed her for her silly behaviour.

"Gomen..." stammered Yakoto and cried even more. "Gomen, Haruka. I didn't... I mean I never wanted... I thought..." she blushed deeply and more tears ran down her cheeks. "You've been my best friend and... and I simply didn't see... see until Michiru... Michiru sung that song... and ... Mila was so... mean and..."

Haruka and Michiru exchanged shortly glances. Then Haruka rose from the couch and laid her left hand calmingly on a trembling shoulder.

"It's okay, Yakoto. You aren't as mean as Mila." She said with an understanding smile on her face. "You've been afraid, that's all."

"But that wasn't right!" cried Yakoto and Rei gave up and handled Usagi a handkerchief.

"Then make it better in the future."

dbdbdb

The supper was delicious. It was not only the hot broth that stood steaming before her on the table. She had had broth for the last two days. But today she was allowed to leave her bed and the couch for good and to sit at the kitchen's table with the other people.

"These noodles are too thin." Said Hotaru and raised her fork. Of course she had wanted to eat the same meal as her best Haruka. Michiru giggled and handled her a spoon.

"It's noodle broth, princess. You have to use a spoon. Then you won't loose them so easily."

"But that's strange to eat noodles with a spoon." But Hotaru was convinced as she watched how Haruka ate her broth with a spoon, as well.

They talked about different things. About Dr. Tomoe's work at the hospital and about his studies in his laboratory. About Hotaru planting a new tree in the kindergarten. About the coming Christmas. About Haruka and Michiru going back to school again. They discussed for a long time if they wanted to change school, but they both decided that it would have been like running away. So they decided to stay. At least as long as the teachers hadn't already kicked them out, because of the song Michiru had sung right in front of the cameras.

"Haruka?"

Dr. Tomoe looked down at the tall girl as she raised her head and looked at him with questions in her dark green eyes. Again he saw how happy his niece had been after the girl had been here. How Michiru had started again to draw - nice pictures that didn't show a burning Ferrari any longer. How his sister's daughter had smiled happily in her dreams while the tall girl had held her tightly. It had been the first honest smile Dr. Tomoe had seen since that night when the police woke him and his daughter up. Again he thought of how brave Michiru had been when she had declared him that she wanted to visit her parents' grave - and that Haruka would go with her. Michiru had been very sad when she came home, but there had been hope in her deep blue eyes. Haruka hadn't said much that afternoon. She had only taken the smaller girl's hand and held it tight. Showing her this way that she was there for her.

Again he saw his niece's terrified face when Haruka had broken down in the corridor. Again he heard her gasp for breath as he had shown the bloodstained shoulder to her. Again he thought of all the nights Michiru had sat at the bed and had watched the ill girl breathing. Just breathing. Just being sure that she was still alive. That she wouldn't leave her, too. Just like her parents...

"Hai?"

They love each other. Just like I've loved my Rumi-chan. Just like my sister has loved her Gendo.

Softly, he smiled down at her and messed her blond mop.

"Welcome to the family, Haruka."

dbdbdb

"This must be a dream." Whispered Haruka while she crept a little bit closer to her girlfriend under the blanket.

"Nani?" giggled Michiru back and embraced the tall girl in return.

"It's too wonderful it be real." Answered Haruka and gave her a tender kiss.

_I love those lips. I love her!_

"You're too wonderful to be real."

Michiru smiled happily and gave her another soft kiss in return.

"Are you sure?" she teased and caressed carefully over warm cheeks. Still, Haruka wasn't completely recovered yet and she still had a temperature and it would take her another week until she could use her arm again without taking too many painkillers.

"I've never been so sure about something in my whole life, Michi." Whispered Haruka and kissed her again and again until they both giggled. "But I am very sure that I love you, Michi. More than I can tell you." Again they kissed and Michiru's hand crept under Haruka's pyjamas' top and caressed tenderly over the soft skin. Haruka shivered slightly and her smile grew wider.

"I love you, too, Ruka." Deep blue eyes sparkled lovingly up into dark green ones.

"I told you, this must be dream." Sighed Haruka and held her Michiru a little bit tighter as another giggle and a tender kiss answered her silent question.

_It's real. I just have to have a little faith in her._

dbdbdb


	7. Epilogue: Home

**Epilogue: Home**

It was snowing. Some falkes swam on the ocean's wild surface. However, today it was calm. Because today was a special day. Today was Christmas.

Light snow flakes floated down to an already covered ground. It looked as if the whole world had put on a white coat and it all looked so much cleaner. So much more innocent. Simply so much more beautiful.

"You love the sea, don't you?" asked Haruka and embraced her girlfriend from behind. They had just finished their Christmas shopping and were on their way to uncle Tarô's house to celebrate Christmas with him and Hotaru. The little girl had been very excited and had talked about her gifts all morning. For the first time in her life Haruka had got pocket money and she spent it almost all on Christmas presents.

_She bought two heavy bags full of gifts._

Michiru smiled while she felt how her girlfriend held her tighter. Haruka was so happy to be able to spend all the money and to buy so many Christmas presents she hadn't been able to buy before.

_She bought a small necklace, too._

Michiru held her girlfriend's hands in her own. They both wore gloves, but still they could feel their fingers under the fine clothes.

The sea green haired beauty knew for whom Haruka had bought the necklace. Once she had seen the picture of a young woman with a little baby girl in her arms in the photo album. Tiny hands had grabbed for a necklace. Haruka had softly said that she had destroyed it when she had been young and that her mother had been very sad. For a long time the tall had girl stared on the gift in her hands and wasn't sure what she should do. She didn't understand her mother. And she wasn't able to forgive her what she had done. What she hadn't done. But she knew that they both were simply the victims of a rude man. Of a brutal husband and of a hating father.

_Maybe she'll mail it to her._

"Hai, I love the sea." Admitted Michiru and giggled as Haruka blew softly through her curls. "But I love the wind, as well. The sea is nothing without the wind."

She turned around and Haruka looked directly in deep blue eyes. Snow flakes sparkled like little diamonds in sea green hair and in the lamp light Michiru looked in her white coat like an angel.

_My guardian angel..._

Haruka pulled her angel nearer and kissed her with all her feelings. Now the tall girl was feeling better and after Christmas holidays they would go to school again. Quickly, Haruka regained her strength and Michiru realized how passionately her girlfriend could be - if she had the power and the will.

"I love you, too." She whispered between two kisses.

For another long time they stood there. Between snow flakes dancing weightlessly around them. Silently, they stood there and watched the steady waves, listened to the rushes of the sea and the screaming of the sea birds above, looking up to the moon and some bright stars sparkling through the clouds.

_This must be a dream._

Haruka held her Michi tighter and felt again the wind playing with her short blond hair. But this time she wasn't as desperate as the last time she stood here. This time she didn't wish to be as fast as the wind. There was no reason for her to run away any longer. This time she didn't hear the shot again in her head. It had died away the very day Michiru had kissed her and had told her that she loved her. It was gone just like her nightmares the night she had told Michiru about her nightmares and about her father and how he had hurt her in the past.

_Don't give up, 'cause you have friends..._

Again she heard the soft song, the tender voice in her mind.

_Somewhere there's a place where we belong._

_Hai, this is my place. Where I belong. With my Michi._

"Are you cold?" asked Haruka as she realized how much her girlfriend trembled.

"No..." answered Michiru and raised her head to look up to the stars. Again she felt the wind playing with her white coat. But this time she didn't want to jump into the endless sea. This time she didn't want to follow her parents. After she had told her Haruka the truth about her parents' death. And the more time passed and the longer she could talk to Haruka and the more she knew that the tall girl was always there for her to comfort her, her fear decreased. Her nightmares stopped. Her whole body ached for life. After she had already decided to die, because it wasn't worth to live on this cold, cruel world any longer, she suddenly wanted to live. To spend her future together with her Ruka. This time she didn't see the burning car crashing down to the rocky ground and exploding there in a great ball of fire. This time she didn't smell the smoke of burning metal. Of burning flesh...

_Don't give up, we're proud of who you are..._

Surely, her parents were proud of her. Wherever they were right now. Surely, they knew that she was happy again. With Haruka. That she would never be as lonely and desperate as she had been shortly after her parents' death.

"It's almost seven in the evening. Surely, uncle Tarô and Hime-chan are waiting for us." Whispered Haruka and gave her another kiss that lasted for another long time.

"Guess you're right." Michiru's blue eyes sparkled as she took Haruka's free hand in her right and her bags into her left one. "Hope you'll like my gift."

"I like all your gifts." Answered Haruka while they walked slowly through the snow.

"And what do you want?" Michiru was very curious and Haruka smiled as she saw the pleading expression on her girlfriend's face.

_Guess she's more curious to see my reaction than to see what she'll get._

"You." She said simply and blushed a little bit.

"Oh..." Michiru made a disappointed face, but her redden cheeks betrayed all her feelings. "Then you wouldn't do a great deal. You know, yesterday I saw in that shop a..."

Haruka let go her bags and the next second she had pulled her girlfriend into her arms and swirled around with her on the white element.

"Whatever you've seen, Michi, you're the only one I want!" she laughed and kissed her again and again and again.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? That would have been cheaper." Michiru giggled and tried to repeat all the stormy kisses. But she wasn't as fast as her girlfriend. So she only giggled more.

"Cheaper? You're too expensive!" Haruka let her down and looked for a long moment deep into blue eyes. "I still don't know how I got you."

"I simply couldn't resist your charm." Whispered Michiru and stroked with her gloves over redden cheeks. "And your beautiful smile. And I love it to hear you laug. To look into your sparkling eyes. To see that you're happy."

"With you I am happy." Answered Haruka and again they kissed for another long time.

_I want to be happy with you, Michi. For the rest of my life._

_I only want to see you laughing, Ruka. For all times._

"Now, it's almost eight. Guess our two Tomoes will have starved in the meantime." Said Haruka and took her bags again.

"Starved? Our Hime-chan? Don't worry. She knows how to open the fridge and uncle Tarô knows how to open the microwave oven."

"I'd know how to burn it all."

Both giggled and took each other's hand to walk through the wide snow.

dbdbdb

A woman in a long, white dress watched them go. Wind played with her long blond hair and a tender smile was on her face.

_Now, you're ready._

She reached into her bag and took out two golden henshin.

_Now, you're ready to face your destiny - together._

They saw the bus coming down the street. Only ten minutes by bus and they would be at Dr. Tomoe's house to celebrate Christmas.

"Let's go home." Said Michiru as the bus finally arrived and the doors open for them to enter.

"Home?" whispered Haruka and held her hand suddenly tighter. The smaller girl turned around and smiled tenderly at her girlfriend. Too well she remembered the two addresses Haruka had lived at just a few weeks ago.

_Lived? Existed._

Too well she did remember how much she had cried during the past weeks after her parents' death when she had been sure that she'd never be able to call any place home again.

Briefly, Michiru leaned over to Haruka and gave her another loving kiss. Her whisper was the sweetest melody Haruka had ever heard.

"Hai, Ruka. Our home."

End

Written: 18th December 2000 – 13th January 2001

Reread and reuploaded: August 2006

4


End file.
